Ma's Daily Puja & Prayer - October 19, 2004

Namaste my chelas all over the world,

I started to pack a few things to take with me to New Mexico.

As I got my bag ready, I received such a jolt almost like a lightning bolt
right through my heart, forcing me to sit down like a child on the floor.

"Where am I going?" I asked any God or Goddess that could hear my words.

My Yogiji is not there in the flesh.

This will be the first time ever that I will be in His beautiful Espanola
with out He who is my dearest and best friend in the whole world.

At that moment out of the depth of my being I heard His laugh, loud and
clear.

I ran to my Ganga porch over looking our Sacred Kashi Ashram, and I could
still hear His laughter.

Looking at our many temples I cried out, "Let me grieve, let me cry, let me
be."

And still the laughter came.

How can I miss what I still have?

But I do.

How can I shed tears if I know He is still here and in the heart of every
Sikh and my chelas also?

But I do.

Who will call me on the phone when I lose so many each day to AIDS,
sickness, poverty and the bitter battle to find relief from cancer?

"He will, in your heart," I heard my own Beloved Guru say.

Yet I still feel alone with out Him.

My Beautiful Bibiji and His sons and daughter shared Him with all of us; for
this I am grateful, and yet still I miss Him.

My thousands of chelas have been touched by this man, this Great Sikh, this
lover of God.

So many nights I called Him on the phone and just listened to the chanting
or His voice telling me to do more, even though I was exhausted.

"Do more, Ma."

And I did.

My friend, you are the very essence of God and yet the simplicity of
everyday life.

You have become known to millions of people all over the world simply
because you love to love the Great Book and all the Gurus.

Year after year I came to Peace Prayer Day and sat next to you, laughing all
the while.

I saw the pride in your eyes as your children danced and loved God on the
stage.

Many times I turned around and saw a sea of white, your students from all
over the world and my own chelas with tilak on their third eye, together
enjoying the moment of the two teachers laughing.

I watched you balance everyone's heart: heads of states, ambassadors, Holy
Ones, and of course Your Ma.

I got intoxicated on your love, my friend.
I got intoxicated on your teachings.
I got intoxicated on your ability to change lives.
I saw you bring the Fire of Transformation to the many.
And I was honored to sit next to you.

You gave in after many years and just accepted that that was Ma's seat.

The thunderbolts are coming fast now and tears fall on the keyboard.

Yes, I know you said to celebrate your life and no tears.
And I am the Guru Mother.
The Guru Mother who lost Her deepest and best friend.
And I can cry if I want to.
You were always there for your Ma.

You were there when I was sick and you were so sick yourself.

You were there in my heart when my son died in May, and I felt your sorrow
for your Ma.

I will not ask where you are, because I can feel you and see you and know
you.

And you can see all of us.

What a great job you did with your life, my Yogiji, always with this thread
of love that goes back to the Warrior Gurus and the Siri Guru Granth Sahib.

Over the years I have had a little taste of the Mysteries of the Sikh
Tradition from your lips and passed it on to my own Hindu chelas and all who
would listen.

You, my Friend, came twice to honor my Sacred Ashram, my Beautiful Kashi,
all the time complaining of the mosquitoes, nevertheless proud of your Ma.

I am 64 years of age and I always want you to be proud of me.

Even my Beloved Guruji Neem Karoli Baba smiles at that one.
Yes, I will celebrate your life.
Yes, I will celebrate all the trouble you got me into (gladly ).
Yes, I will celebrate all those phone calls that went on all night.

Yes, I will celebrate and celebrate, even though my heart is breaking.

I will come and be with you in Spirit in Espanola and still see you sitting
next to me, telling me to make it fast when I got up on the stage.

I believe with all my heart that you will be sitting next to me and next to
all of us forever and ever.

And even though it is not your tradition, I will sit at your feet for the
rest of my life.

Love, Your Friend Ma Jaya

Sat Nam, my Yogiji, my heart.

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Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati is an American-born spiritual teacher. She is widely
known for her compassionate work, serving those who are suffering, people
living with AIDS, the homeless, the poor, and anyone in need. She is most
passionate about the importance of service in spiritual life.

http://www.kashi.org/bio.htm

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