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| Hi
I have in the last few months been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality
Disorder.
On reading further into the subject I found that, in the main, it truly did
describe me and it did explain much in my life.
One would, therefore, not be surprised that I am living with my mother, aged
72 (me 47).
I pull my weight conscientiously, as I endeavour to do with anything I am
tasked, but am always conscious of the 'world out there' as, if you like, a
separate reality. A reality which I am, to varying degrees, at different
times, quite wary of. At times I can feel quite threatened by it,
particularly the potential for embarrassing for me, distressing for me(or
harmfull) actions by individual people or groups with ill intentions, or
some authority perhaps running amok with the exercise of their power.
At best, one navigates the 'world out there' if one is able. On the other
hand I do have a fundamental curiousity of aspects of the 'world out there'
in terms of people - their differences, their similarities, their
appearance, age, sex, how they express themselves as individuals or whether
they seem group focused, or what they are doing. I feel ill-equipped, out
of my depth, too different, perhaps too sensitive to participate in the
'world out there with any real and lasting meaning. 'Picking up' a lady
seems out of the question - for a start it is impossible for me to 'big
note' myself. As for 'lines', I really cannot see why one would need to
contrive what one says initially. Like one seems to have to pretend to be
someone else and hope that that version is somehow believed and subsequently
acceptable to the person being picked up. Perhaps some people want to be
fooled, I don't know.
Anyway I can go out the front door. I believe that there are those with
this or similar disorder who simply can't.
I would love to hear from anyone interested in the subject I raise.
Ken
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