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A day in the life of CRSQA surgeon
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| Trulytelling@yahoo.com 2006-01-01, 12:56 pm |
| Can readers guess the target of this satire? Hint, he's a CRSQA
surgeon.
There goes the alarm! Long day ahead, so I'll just grab a bagel on my
way out the door. What do I have this morning? At least 8 post-ops.
Thank goodness for co-management, or it would be 40 and I wouldn't
have time to make any money blasting corneas. Oh, I need to have
Cindy call the keratome rep and tell him it's sticking! Cut a short
flap yesterday, dammit. I'll probably get sued. Why oh why do I
still do lasik on attorneys????
Well, lemme call Mike. "Hey Mike, my stocks are down again, thanks to
that stinkin' newspaper article on lasik complications. I never hated
the syndication of articles like I do these days. I'm getting calls
from all over the country about this one. Yeah, just sell it all
before they drop even further. I don't see any good news ahead for
this industry. Thanks, buddy. Later."
Hmmm, gotta find out how many eyeballs I'm burning today. "Cindy, how
many surgeries today? 24? Okay, I'll be there shortly." Hmmm, 24 x
$5000. Okay, so $120,000 gross today.....that leaves me with only
$90,000 for the entire day's work. Man, I need to talk to a
marketing pro. Sales are down, and I am so close to being able to buy
that yacht. I can't wait to surprise the wife with it. When she
sees it, she'll stop giving me such a hard time about missing dinner
every night. Oh well, gotta make my millions now, before more of
those damned stories about complications come out and dry up the
market even further. What's a little fuzzy vision, anyway? Most of
them see far better unaided than they did before I lasered them. I
can't believe the kind of money all of those ingrates are getting out
of lawsuits against us. Millions!!! What kind of baloney is that????
I'm a great surgeon though. My patients don't have complications.
Well, a short or buttonhole flap once in a while, DLK rarely now, a
little irregular astigmatism here and there?I have so many grateful
patients. They hug me and kiss me and tell me that I'm a miracle
worker. Well, not quite if you wanna know the TRUTH, but it sure
feels good! Yeah, once in a while I have someone who's pissed off
about their vision. I warned them though--told them there were risks.
Not everyone can expect to have a perfect result. We'll fix up the
bad ones with custom ablation, if and when it ever comes. Guess I'll
call John and see how it's going with his FDA trial.
"John, how's the custom going? Done any mangled ones yet?
Okay.....well.....let me know when you do. I'm anxious to start too.
Got a lot of problems here with irregular astigmatism. See you at
ISRS."
"Hello? Hey Cindy, what's up? Who? Oh, Mrs. Wesley. Uh huh. Uh
huh. Yeah, tell her she needs to be seen this morning." Ah, great!
Haze..... Well, it's probably just some edema or dry eye. Could even
be another DLK. Crap. I hate those. Daily followups until it
clears. Just more of my time down the drain. I hope she hasn't been
on the internet again. That damned Surgically Altered Eyes group.
What a bunch of idiots, trying to diagnose each other via a bulletin
board! God help the man who damaged Don Ringleader's eyes and started
this whole mess. Refractive surgery used to be no worries, mate. Now
those self-appointed consumer activists are making our lives
miserable! The lengths they will go to make websites, crashing
seminars, whining to the media. What do they want to do? Kill LASIK?
Over my
dead body! There aren't enough serious complications for that.
LASIK is a great procedure. Sure, we don't know the long-term, but
heck, there's no guarantee that I'll be here in five minutes. Life is
full of risks.
Later...
Yeah, it's shoot my laser time! Two more eyeballs staring at the
lights. Stay on the lights, geek, while I burn, baby, burn. Okay,
please God, let this one go well. He seems nice enough, but you never
know who will turn around and sue you. The blade slices right on
through...nice cut...snap snap snap snap...vaporize this cornea...
plumes of burnt tissue rising up...fold the flap back over and rinse
out as much
debris as I can...a little smoothing....okay, all done! Phew! No
problems. I don't
need any more problems.
Next victim! Ah ha. My celebrity patient of the week. I have
lasered the eyes of so many Hollywood stars. I am pretty damn good at
this! Gotta double-check and triple-check my numbers here. If it
goes well, this one might be willing to autograph her photo and let me
hang it on the wall. Heck, maybe she'll even do an infomercial with
me if I pay her enough!
Oops, my pager. Hang on a minute....."George, thanks for calling.
I'm really concerned. We were so hoping that the new website would
get the public away from SurgicallyRuinedEyes.org, LASIKNightmare,
AskLaserJockeys and HornyToad's boards, and convince them that LASIK
is safe. The first thing it did was increase their traffic tenfold!
We should have seen that coming. Just mention the words
"complication" or "risk" and you know people will be typing them into
search engines. Well, do what you can. Emphasize that LASIK is safe
and effective, and light-years ahead of what we were doing even six
months ago. Nooooo, George, my complication rate is about the same as
it was three years ago. I'm the best though, remember? This is about
as safe as it gets. It's close enough.?
Here we go again! Another pre-op who wants to ask me another bunch of
lousy questions. "Do you sterilize your equipment?" Of course. "Do
you use a new blade for each patient?" Of course. "How many cases
have you done?" Thousands upon thousands! "What is your complication
rate?" LASIK is safer than driving your car! I think it's time that
I videotape myself answering all of this crap and just park these
people in front of the monitor for a few hours so they can watch it
after they watch the informed consent video. I am so sick of
answering the same blasted 50 tough questions over and over and over
again! I don't make any money by answering questions they've found on
the stinkin' internet! I try so hard to hold my tongue and be
patient with these people, but it's really getting old. Do they
really think that if they ask the questions, they are preventing
complications? Oh well, I guess if it makes them feel better and
sells the procedure, it is another $5000 in my pocket.
What's this? Ms. Jones wants me to recheck her microstriae AGAIN???
Aww, she's not happy with her new 20/20 vision? Guess I'll have to
explain to her that she is a very active focuser and that she needs to
relax and enjoy her new natural vision. I wonder how many times I'll
have to tell people that before I get to retire and move to Tahiti.
That will be the life! No more whiners moaning about their starbursts
and glare. No more worries about wrinkled flaps or ingrowth, or the
long-term stuff like ectasia, regression or anything else these goons
will present with in the future. It will be someone else's problem.
Ha ha ha. I'm just about there. Buy the yacht, buy some more stocks
and bonds (of course, none having anything to do with laser vision
correction!), and I'm outta this game. The great thing about
refractive surgery is that I'm guaranteeing my young colleagues' future
income. In a few years, regression will make enhancements so popular
that the second wave of laser vision correction will hit. After all,
after being given a taste of 20/20 without aid for a few years, no one
will be happy going back to contacts or glasses!
I'm still amazed that we managed to get this far. Really, how many
government-regulated industries can pull off having individuals with
financial interests in approval be the ones to vote the approval???
Cracks me up that we get away with this stuff. We sure have beat the
system on this one. Gotta love the FDA. A few bucks put in the right
hands and you get what you want. It's so true that everything is for
sale if the price is right.
Oh, my favorite cohort on line 2. Hey, Jay!!! I sent that letter
out yesterday. We've got to stop these guys from doing expert witness
stuff. They are spoiling everything. Not only are they badmouthing
our work as surgeons, but then they take the stand against us in
court! Our own brothers! In fact, I fear that one of them is
criticizing my own work today. Huh? Yeah, really. I did a minus 10
and his flaps crinkled up...too thin, you know the routine. I've
tried relifting, suturing, everything and can't get the vision decent
again. The patient told me he's making the rounds for second opinions
and he's seeing one of the traitors this afternoon. I guess I'll
offer to pay for repair with the surgeon of his choice and see if that
prevents litigation. It will probably boil down to transplants, but
then the patient should be fine. Nothing I should be sued over!
Next victim. I mean, patient! Hmmm, I think the lens on this laser is
dirty. My ablations aren't as smooth as they should be. When was the
last time it was cleaned? Oops, we're overdue. What happened here?
Cindy!!! Will ya take care of this please? Get this thing
cleaned! Set it up for next week. By that time, after another
hundred
or so surgeries, it will definitely be responsible for some poorer
outcomes. Nothing too noticeable, I'm sure, but for those active
focusers it could cause some complaints about their acuity. I don't
like complaints. I'm tired of complaints!
I wish I'd bought the Tokiyaki laser. I would not have near the
troubles I have had with this XLIS hunk of junk. I hear that the
Tokiyaki jockeys are using them to clean up the central islands the
XLIS makes. Boy, am I glad that I didn't have my laser used on my own
eyes!!
Okay..got a couple of complications here from other laser jockeys.
Both with irregular astigmatism and decentered ablations. I never
miss. What's with these clowns that they can't aim their lasers
properly? Well, I'll just go with the flow. Your surgeon did a
fantastic job. Your flaps look beautiful and you are healing nicely,
but you must have moved during your surgery or you weren't looking at
the lights...the ablations are slightly off-center. All in all, you
really should be seeing better than you say you are. Let's try the
chart again. Please do your best to read each letter...guess! Is it a
P or an F? Okay, if this is your best, we'll stop here. I think your
eyes are a little dry. You need to use drops every hour. Custom
ablation is almost ready. We are already doing FDA trials, and soon
we'll be treating patients just like you! In the meantime, you can
wear contact lenses and you'll be just fine. Give my office a call
in about six months and I'll be able to fix you up. You can pay at
the front desk and I'm sorry, but we don't accept any insurance.
Last patient! I'm gonna have to string this one along. I can tell
that she is really getting annoyed with the ghost images and is
thinking legal. Hello, Ms. Smith! You don't think there's any
improvement yet? Well, at eight months, you're still early in the
healing process. Ghosting is normal this early on. Oh, you don't
remember that from the informed consent form? Well, we cannot list
everything imaginable on that form. There are thousands of lasik
patients with a little bit of ghosting in an eye or two. It's
perfectly normal after this procedure and will resolve on its own with
time. You know, corneas heal very slowly and time is our friend
here.
Hmmm...your eye is looking much better from this side of the slit lamp.
Are you sure your vision has not improved?? Well, let's give it some
time...how about four more months? Then we'll know you're stable and
we can evaluate enhancement surgery. I'm already doing custom ablation
and I'm sure it will take care of all of your problems. Okay? See
you then! (He he, we'll be past the statute of limitations when I
break the bad news to her that I cannot fix her.)
My buddies are starting to do quite a few PKs after LASIK. Good thing
that corneal transplants are the most successful of all transplant
ops. Only a 20% risk of rejection. Heck, they're almost as safe as
LASIK and with more practice, they'll be even safer. Within a year
or two, these people have correctable vision again and can just go
back to wearing contacts lenses like they did before. No big deal.
If they have to take time off work, they can relax and even travel if
they want to. Even some of the worst damage from LASIK is easily
fixed with a transplant! Makes me wonder why so many of these people
with minor fixable complications claim to be depressed and flock to
psychiatrists. Probably very unstable before they had surgery. I
really should start doing some pre-op psychological screening to weed
out the sue-happies.
What a great procedure. There have been a few cases of blindness, but
we've done millions and the majority of our patients are very happy.
We are the heroes of modern medicine!
Well, Porsche baby, let's hit the highway!! 24 zap-a-roosies today.
Woohoo!! In these lean times for lasik surgeons, gotta love a
$120,000 day. I'm so good!
| |
| serebel 2006-01-02, 1:10 am |
| You got a lot of time on your hands. Nice fantasy story though.
| |
|
| In article <1136138257.463276.45410@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
Trulytelling@yahoo.com wrote:
> Refractive surgery used to be no worries, mate.
Ha Ha! Day off from work?
Are you from down under?
--
~RT
| |
|
|
RT wrote:
> In article <1136138257.463276.45410@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
> Trulytelling@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>
> Ha Ha! Day off from work?
> Are you from down under?
Couldn't be, Aussies don't whine that much! LOL
>
> --
> ~RT
| |
|
| In article <1136175678.017338.175640@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
"Linda" <lindakendall3155@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
[vbcol=seagreen]
> RT wrote:
>
> Couldn't be, Aussies don't whine that much! LOL
You're right. The language isn't foul enough! Whiners don't curse 
--
~RT
| |
|
|
RT wrote:
> In article <1136175678.017338.175640@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> "Linda" <lindakendall3155@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>
>
> You're right. The language isn't foul enough! Whiners don't curse
So True!!!!! My brother's wife is American and she could not believe
how much we all curse!
Linda
>
> --
> ~RT
| |
| crvc@wyoming.com 2006-01-03, 1:11 am |
| I am no fan of LASIK. But I remember reading this post, or one much
like it, four years ago at SurgicalEyes.org.
| |
| serebel 2006-01-03, 1:11 am |
| That's the best these nuts can do, regurgitate old rants.
| |
| Glenn - USAEyes.org 2006-01-03, 1:11 am |
| Fortunately the industry has moved forward in that time, even if the
rants have not.
Glenn Hagele
Executive Director
USAEyes.org
"Consider and Choose With Confidence"
Email to glenn dot hagele at usaeyes dot org
http://www.USAEyes.org
http://www.ComplicatedEyes.org
I am not a doctor.
| |
|
| This needs to be reposted every time you post your little 'welcome to
the news group'. Talk about not moving forward. Aaaaack!
| |
| Marshall Cosme 2006-01-09, 1:02 am |
| http://www.321recipes.com/aspartame.html
This is a must read on eye health and maintainance. You may or may not be
affected , but you might be shocked!
Please excuse the interruption , but I thought you may be interested to know
what may be causing all kinds of health problems for yourself or for your
loved ones. I can't seem to get it through to my wife's brain about this
vital health issue, Now she is always saying she is having trouble with her
vision. Gee, I wonder why? I am so pissed off right now, I really want to
slap some sense into her. She has been feeding this poison to my four
children for years after I asked her not too, so you can see why I said what
I said previously, but I would never hit my wife. Why are people ignore what
science brings to are attention about health issues. I am really upset, but
I hope this helps you....since I can't get through to my wife of 16
years.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Trulytelling@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1136138257.463276.45410@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Can readers guess the target of this satire? Hint, he's a CRSQA
> surgeon.
>
> There goes the alarm! Long day ahead, so I'll just grab a bagel on my
> way out the door. What do I have this morning? At least 8 post-ops.
> Thank goodness for co-management, or it would be 40 and I wouldn't
> have time to make any money blasting corneas. Oh, I need to have
> Cindy call the keratome rep and tell him it's sticking! Cut a short
> flap yesterday, dammit. I'll probably get sued. Why oh why do I
> still do lasik on attorneys????
>
> Well, lemme call Mike. "Hey Mike, my stocks are down again, thanks to
> that stinkin' newspaper article on lasik complications. I never hated
> the syndication of articles like I do these days. I'm getting calls
> from all over the country about this one. Yeah, just sell it all
> before they drop even further. I don't see any good news ahead for
> this industry. Thanks, buddy. Later."
>
> Hmmm, gotta find out how many eyeballs I'm burning today. "Cindy, how
> many surgeries today? 24? Okay, I'll be there shortly." Hmmm, 24 x
> $5000. Okay, so $120,000 gross today.....that leaves me with only
> $90,000 for the entire day's work. Man, I need to talk to a
> marketing pro. Sales are down, and I am so close to being able to buy
> that yacht. I can't wait to surprise the wife with it. When she
> sees it, she'll stop giving me such a hard time about missing dinner
> every night. Oh well, gotta make my millions now, before more of
> those damned stories about complications come out and dry up the
> market even further. What's a little fuzzy vision, anyway? Most of
> them see far better unaided than they did before I lasered them. I
> can't believe the kind of money all of those ingrates are getting out
> of lawsuits against us. Millions!!! What kind of baloney is that????
> I'm a great surgeon though. My patients don't have complications.
> Well, a short or buttonhole flap once in a while, DLK rarely now, a
> little irregular astigmatism here and there?I have so many grateful
> patients. They hug me and kiss me and tell me that I'm a miracle
> worker. Well, not quite if you wanna know the TRUTH, but it sure
> feels good! Yeah, once in a while I have someone who's pissed off
> about their vision. I warned them though--told them there were risks.
> Not everyone can expect to have a perfect result. We'll fix up the
> bad ones with custom ablation, if and when it ever comes. Guess I'll
> call John and see how it's going with his FDA trial.
>
> "John, how's the custom going? Done any mangled ones yet?
> Okay.....well.....let me know when you do. I'm anxious to start too.
> Got a lot of problems here with irregular astigmatism. See you at
> ISRS."
>
> "Hello? Hey Cindy, what's up? Who? Oh, Mrs. Wesley. Uh huh. Uh
> huh. Yeah, tell her she needs to be seen this morning." Ah, great!
> Haze..... Well, it's probably just some edema or dry eye. Could even
> be another DLK. Crap. I hate those. Daily followups until it
> clears. Just more of my time down the drain. I hope she hasn't been
> on the internet again. That damned Surgically Altered Eyes group.
> What a bunch of idiots, trying to diagnose each other via a bulletin
> board! God help the man who damaged Don Ringleader's eyes and started
> this whole mess. Refractive surgery used to be no worries, mate. Now
> those self-appointed consumer activists are making our lives
> miserable! The lengths they will go to make websites, crashing
> seminars, whining to the media. What do they want to do? Kill LASIK?
> Over my
> dead body! There aren't enough serious complications for that.
> LASIK is a great procedure. Sure, we don't know the long-term, but
> heck, there's no guarantee that I'll be here in five minutes. Life is
> full of risks.
>
> Later...
>
> Yeah, it's shoot my laser time! Two more eyeballs staring at the
> lights. Stay on the lights, geek, while I burn, baby, burn. Okay,
> please God, let this one go well. He seems nice enough, but you never
> know who will turn around and sue you. The blade slices right on
> through...nice cut...snap snap snap snap...vaporize this cornea...
> plumes of burnt tissue rising up...fold the flap back over and rinse
> out as much
> debris as I can...a little smoothing....okay, all done! Phew! No
> problems. I don't
> need any more problems.
>
> Next victim! Ah ha. My celebrity patient of the week. I have
> lasered the eyes of so many Hollywood stars. I am pretty damn good at
> this! Gotta double-check and triple-check my numbers here. If it
> goes well, this one might be willing to autograph her photo and let me
> hang it on the wall. Heck, maybe she'll even do an infomercial with
> me if I pay her enough!
>
> Oops, my pager. Hang on a minute....."George, thanks for calling.
> I'm really concerned. We were so hoping that the new website would
> get the public away from SurgicallyRuinedEyes.org, LASIKNightmare,
> AskLaserJockeys and HornyToad's boards, and convince them that LASIK
> is safe. The first thing it did was increase their traffic tenfold!
> We should have seen that coming. Just mention the words
> "complication" or "risk" and you know people will be typing them into
> search engines. Well, do what you can. Emphasize that LASIK is safe
> and effective, and light-years ahead of what we were doing even six
> months ago. Nooooo, George, my complication rate is about the same as
> it was three years ago. I'm the best though, remember? This is about
> as safe as it gets. It's close enough.?
>
> Here we go again! Another pre-op who wants to ask me another bunch of
> lousy questions. "Do you sterilize your equipment?" Of course. "Do
> you use a new blade for each patient?" Of course. "How many cases
> have you done?" Thousands upon thousands! "What is your complication
> rate?" LASIK is safer than driving your car! I think it's time that
> I videotape myself answering all of this crap and just park these
> people in front of the monitor for a few hours so they can watch it
> after they watch the informed consent video. I am so sick of
> answering the same blasted 50 tough questions over and over and over
> again! I don't make any money by answering questions they've found on
> the stinkin' internet! I try so hard to hold my tongue and be
> patient with these people, but it's really getting old. Do they
> really think that if they ask the questions, they are preventing
> complications? Oh well, I guess if it makes them feel better and
> sells the procedure, it is another $5000 in my pocket.
>
> What's this? Ms. Jones wants me to recheck her microstriae AGAIN???
> Aww, she's not happy with her new 20/20 vision? Guess I'll have to
> explain to her that she is a very active focuser and that she needs to
> relax and enjoy her new natural vision. I wonder how many times I'll
> have to tell people that before I get to retire and move to Tahiti.
> That will be the life! No more whiners moaning about their starbursts
> and glare. No more worries about wrinkled flaps or ingrowth, or the
> long-term stuff like ectasia, regression or anything else these goons
> will present with in the future. It will be someone else's problem.
> Ha ha ha. I'm just about there. Buy the yacht, buy some more stocks
> and bonds (of course, none having anything to do with laser vision
> correction!), and I'm outta this game. The great thing about
> refractive surgery is that I'm guaranteeing my young colleagues' future
>
> income. In a few years, regression will make enhancements so popular
> that the second wave of laser vision correction will hit. After all,
> after being given a taste of 20/20 without aid for a few years, no one
> will be happy going back to contacts or glasses!
>
> I'm still amazed that we managed to get this far. Really, how many
> government-regulated industries can pull off having individuals with
> financial interests in approval be the ones to vote the approval???
> Cracks me up that we get away with this stuff. We sure have beat the
> system on this one. Gotta love the FDA. A few bucks put in the right
> hands and you get what you want. It's so true that everything is for
> sale if the price is right.
>
> Oh, my favorite cohort on line 2. Hey, Jay!!! I sent that letter
> out yesterday. We've got to stop these guys from doing expert witness
> stuff. They are spoiling everything. Not only are they badmouthing
> our work as surgeons, but then they take the stand against us in
> court! Our own brothers! In fact, I fear that one of them is
> criticizing my own work today. Huh? Yeah, really. I did a minus 10
> and his flaps crinkled up...too thin, you know the routine. I've
> tried relifting, suturing, everything and can't get the vision decent
> again. The patient told me he's making the rounds for second opinions
> and he's seeing one of the traitors this afternoon. I guess I'll
> offer to pay for repair with the surgeon of his choice and see if that
> prevents litigation. It will probably boil down to transplants, but
> then the patient should be fine. Nothing I should be sued over!
>
> Next victim. I mean, patient! Hmmm, I think the lens on this laser is
>
> dirty. My ablations aren't as smooth as they should be. When was the
> last time it was cleaned? Oops, we're overdue. What happened here?
> Cindy!!! Will ya take care of this please? Get this thing
> cleaned! Set it up for next week. By that time, after another
> hundred
> or so surgeries, it will definitely be responsible for some poorer
> outcomes. Nothing too noticeable, I'm sure, but for those active
> focusers it could cause some complaints about their acuity. I don't
> like complaints. I'm tired of complaints!
>
> I wish I'd bought the Tokiyaki laser. I would not have near the
> troubles I have had with this XLIS hunk of junk. I hear that the
> Tokiyaki jockeys are using them to clean up the central islands the
> XLIS makes. Boy, am I glad that I didn't have my laser used on my own
> eyes!!
>
>
> Okay..got a couple of complications here from other laser jockeys.
> Both with irregular astigmatism and decentered ablations. I never
> miss. What's with these clowns that they can't aim their lasers
> properly? Well, I'll just go with the flow. Your surgeon did a
> fantastic job. Your flaps look beautiful and you are healing nicely,
> but you must have moved during your surgery or you weren't looking at
> the lights...the ablations are slightly off-center. All in all, you
> really should be seeing better than you say you are. Let's try the
> chart again. Please do your best to read each letter...guess! Is it a
>
> P or an F? Okay, if this is your best, we'll stop here. I think your
> eyes are a little dry. You need to use drops every hour. Custom
> ablation is almost ready. We are already doing FDA trials, and soon
> we'll be treating patients just like you! In the meantime, you can
> wear contact lenses and you'll be just fine. Give my office a call
> in about six months and I'll be able to fix you up. You can pay at
> the front desk and I'm sorry, but we don't accept any insurance.
>
> Last patient! I'm gonna have to string this one along. I can tell
> that she is really getting annoyed with the ghost images and is
> thinking legal. Hello, Ms. Smith! You don't think there's any
> improvement yet? Well, at eight months, you're still early in the
> healing process. Ghosting is normal this early on. Oh, you don't
> remember that from the informed consent form? Well, we cannot list
> everything imaginable on that form. There are thousands of lasik
> patients with a little bit of ghosting in an eye or two. It's
> perfectly normal after this procedure and will resolve on its own with
> time. You know, corneas heal very slowly and time is our friend
> here.
>
> Hmmm...your eye is looking much better from this side of the slit lamp.
>
> Are you sure your vision has not improved?? Well, let's give it some
> time...how about four more months? Then we'll know you're stable and
> we can evaluate enhancement surgery. I'm already doing custom ablation
>
> and I'm sure it will take care of all of your problems. Okay? See
> you then! (He he, we'll be past the statute of limitations when I
> break the bad news to her that I cannot fix her.)
>
> My buddies are starting to do quite a few PKs after LASIK. Good thing
> that corneal transplants are the most successful of all transplant
> ops. Only a 20% risk of rejection. Heck, they're almost as safe as
> LASIK and with more practice, they'll be even safer. Within a year
> or two, these people have correctable vision again and can just go
> back to wearing contacts lenses like they did before. No big deal.
> If they have to take time off work, they can relax and even travel if
> they want to. Even some of the worst damage from LASIK is easily
> fixed with a transplant! Makes me wonder why so many of these people
> with minor fixable complications claim to be depressed and flock to
> psychiatrists. Probably very unstable before they had surgery. I
> really should start doing some pre-op psychological screening to weed
> out the sue-happies.
>
> What a great procedure. There have been a few cases of blindness, but
> we've done millions and the majority of our patients are very happy.
> We are the heroes of modern medicine!
>
> Well, Porsche baby, let's hit the highway!! 24 zap-a-roosies today.
> Woohoo!! In these lean times for lasik surgeons, gotta love a
> $120,000 day. I'm so good!
>
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