| BarnardClassics 2005-06-04, 11:00 pm |
| TOP TEN REASONS TO GET LASIK RIGHT NOW!
10. If God didn't want us to vaporize our corneas, he wouldn't have
made us smart enough to make lasers.
9. It sounds pretty frickin' cool when you describe it to everyone you
know. Say it right now, and feel how cool it sounds rolling off the
tongue: "I got . . . LASIK!" Sort of like, "I got . . . HERPES!", but
even better.
8. They're only EYES, fer cryin' out loud. It's not like they're
something important, like global warming.
7. Two words: Goggles rock!
6. If your eyesight suffered from an iron deficiency . . . well, it
won't any more.
5. "Lifting your flap" and "showing your stroma" is a great way to pick
up chicks.
4. You won't get thirsty as often, since your eyes won't be wasting all
that moisture in tear production. (If you're a woman, you should
probably be crying less anyway. If you're a man, you shouldn't be
crying at all. This so-called "dry eye syndrome" is actually a
value-added feature!)
3. Two more words: Free enhancements!
2. If you thought the high you got with the post-orthodontia codeine
was good, wait 'till you try Restasis!
And now (drum roll), the #1 reason to get LASIK right now:
1. Hey, you never know -- it just might work!
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