Lasik Eyes Surgery - Dr. Minarik recycles "The Tina Thread..."

Author

Dr. Minarik recycles "The Tina Thread..."

doctor_my_eye@msn.com

2004-12-20, 10:08 pm

..=2E..rerun season, you know. Happy Holidays, everyone!

DoctorMyEye.com
THE Place To Go When
Refractive Surgery Goes Wrong!
Dr. Kenneth Minarik, O.D.

Post subject: For Tina, because i never really knew your name...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------=
-----

Ah, the joy of late summer/early fall. High school kids are off at
football camp or band camp or cheerleading camp, and some area schools
are back to work on educating our children.
I love the early fall, as there is that sense of renewal and new
beginnings.

I am a creature of habit. My morning includes 45 minutes on the
treadmill, followed by a long shower and a half-hour drive to work. I
drive the same way every day. We optometrists like things that are the
same. Maybe that is why we can be happy sitting in little darkened
rooms, making people see again...one after another, day after day.

I also like to read my USA Today, but I stop to pick it up at the local
gas station every morning,
as if having it delivered would damage the sanctity of my morning
routine. At the gas station was a charming young twenty-something woman
who met me with a smile every morning. She would often tease me about
the nice cars I would drive, and we would talk about the headline of
that morning's newspaper. I sometimes noticed that she wore a brace on
one arm, and sometimes spoke in very measured sentences, but I never
thought for a second about her "disability", but instead about how
happy a person she was.

I don't usually take much time off, but I took a surprise few days away
from the office and treated my wife and myself to the theater in
Chicago, and we took the kids to Great America, where we road roller
coasters until we were all overcome with the giggles. It was a nice
time to get away and smell the roses.

I returned to work last week, and noticed a new girl at the gas
station. And there, on the cash register, was a dagger that pierced my
heart. It was "her" picture, on a milk jug that had been set up to
collect funeral donations.
I learned from reading the bottle that her name was Tina. The new gal
told me she died alone, in her apartment, after having a seizure and
choking on her tongue, unable to summon help.

This essay is not about giving help to the disabled, or about money for
funerals. It is about loss. There are people in our lives every day
that make us a little happier, and a little wiser, and a little
more...human. I never asked her name, maybe because I was too busy
going to work, maybe cause I was afraid she'd think I was just an old
flirt, maybe because I never really thought to ask.

This essay is about.......
Hi. My name is Ken. I want to thank you for making my mornings a little
brighter every day.
I want to thank you for knowing whats in the newspaper everyday so you
can joke with you.
Thank you for making me totally forget about your "disability" and not
categorize you or stereotype you....
Thank you for living alone because that is what people can do in a
democracy, when they are independent and wilfull and strong....even if
there are negative consequences.

Who do YOU need to have that conversation with today?

Quote:
Quoting Dr. Minarik

One of my hopes....

..=2E.is to collect the answers and comments that are added to this
thread, and pass a copy of it on to Tina's mom, whom I just found out
was her manager at the station.

Quote:
Quoting Sam Bell

Dear Dr. Minarik,

Thank you for sharing this experience. It is a poignant reminder for us
to be mindful of people and things around us every day. The mistake we
too often make is that we take time for granted, as if we have all the
time we can ever want. In reality, every day is potentially our last
day or the last day for a loved one, a friend or simply an
acquaintance.

I waited until my father was dying before really getting to know him.
His cancer was, ironically, a perverse blessing for both of us. I
regret that neither of us understood how much we could have learned
from each other and enjoyed each other had we spent more time together
years earlier.

It is said the the samuri warriors arose each morning and refreshed
themselves with the thought of death. The first time I heard this I
thought, "That is just plain crazy!". However, I have come to
understand that if we consider every day as our last day, we tend to
live life fully.

If you had only one more day to live, what fences would you mend? What
pleasure would you indulge in? What legacy would you want to leave? You
still have time--don't waste it.

Thank you again, Dr. Minarik, for sharing from your heart.

Quote:
Quoting Sam Bell

For Tina's Mom:

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a
wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay
in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a small space
in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the
older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger
angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what
they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but
very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food
they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could
have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the
angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose
milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger
angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let
this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she
accused. The second family had little but was willing to share
everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When
we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold
stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with
greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he
wouldn=E2=80=99t find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death
came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always
what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the
way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every
outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some
time later...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.

Some people
become friends and
stay awhile...
leaving beautiful
footprints on our
hearts...

and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!

Tina touched Dr. Minarik, Dr. Minarik touched me, I will share Tina's
story and touch others. Tina would understand, I think, and she would
be pleased. I hope it is some comfort to you knowing that Tina's daily
acts of kindness and her unaffected manner are testament to her
spiritual maturity.

Quote:
Quoting Brian Sharer

This thread has been really poignant and moved me quite a bit. For the
better, I think. I mean, I think I might change my behavior because of
it (whoa!).

I want to thank Dr. Ken for initiating it and Sam for his
ever-infallible wisdoms in matters of spirituality, meaning, and the
human heart. I'd like to thank Tina for setting an example we should
all follow- making a point of making others' days a little brighter,
and battling with nobility through the obstacles and disabilities life
sends our way.

Quote:
Quoting Dr. Minarik

"Hi!....You must be Tina's mom......."

..=2E.You don't know me, but I just wanted to tell you what a special lady
your daughter was. I never really got to know her that well, but every
time I came in to buy this Diet Mountain Dew and morning USA Today, she
really brightened up my world. Most of the time I'm an eye doctor, but
sometimes I write an advice column on the internet about eye surgery.
This morning I talked about your daughter on the internet, and how
special she was. On the first day, a couple of hundred people read
that, and by the end of the month as many as 60 thousand people
worldwide will have had a chance to read a little bit about her, and
how she touched my life. In a few weeks I'll drop off some of the
comments I've collected from that internet site. I admire you, as I
admired your daughter. I wish you nothing but strength in this
difficult time."

There is a tremendous irony here, that I was collecting and writing my
thoughts about Tina, and posting them, at the same time as a "war"
broke out on another thread. It was a war that was started by someone
who was malicious enough to "make fun" of the disabilities that come
from
refractive surgery gone bad. For those of you who have been injured by
the hurtful things said, I ask you to go to work in the morning, as
Tina would do. With a smile. I love you all for your strength.

Quote:
Quoting gerielkins

thank you for the thoughtful comments that you post.
about tina.......you brought out such an important story-so many times
in our society, we seem to treasure the "perfect" and can miss the
perfect treasures which lie beneath.
not everyone has the eyes to see these treasures, but for some of us,
the blessing to our visual problems has been an increased understanding
of the difficulties that others can face, overcome, or just deal with
on a daily basis.

geri

Quote:
Quoting Ron Link

Thank you Dr. Ken and Sam for sharing your insights...so very
well-informed by hard-earned wisdom and grace.

Tina will always be in touch with many people because of her ability to
have lived courageously through Love.

This thread has plumbed into my heart.

Thank you Tina.

Ron Link
Executive Director
The Surgical Eyes Foundation

Quote:
Quoting Marina

For Tina

Wherever you are now... Thank you Tina, for the example you gave in
life and the inspiration you still give us now.

Marina

Quote:
Quoting Lep

Tina

As the father of four children, my heart goes out to Tina's mother.
Tina sounds like she was a wonderful and courageous young lady.

Quote:
Quoting Gail Brion

In memory of Tina

I never knew you, but your story reminded me of how good life can be,
how attitude can change your perception. You will be remembered for
pushing ahead, enjoying what life has to offer, not focusing on what
you do not have, but on how you can help another...reaching out in the
human way.....with a simple smile that shows interest in others. It was
your ability to touch people's lives with your example of how to live
fully that will live after you. Thank you for sharing yourself with all
of us through Ken.

Quote:
Quoting pknapp

For Tina's Mom

Dear Mother. I am so very sorry about the loss of your special, sweet,
hard-working daughter who had only begun to live. It is very much a
tragedy--one that will haunt your heart for the rest of your life. Also
that of any other family members and friends such as Dr. Minarik and
the people he is talking about.

I am the Mother of a daughter (only child) a little older than your
Tina. My Rhonda was diagnosed with a seizure disorder two weeks before
her 16th birthday and due to get her driver's license. She had a grand
mal seizure while we were getting ready to go down and order her class
ring. My daughter could not get her license for a year as she had to
remain seizure free. 15 years later, she still takes anti-seizure meds.
I am haunted frequently by thoughts because she lives alone.

When she was 27 a few years ago, she developed Type I diabetes and her
weight went from 110 to 87 in 2 weeks. She suffered a seizure at work
and cracked her eye on the cement floor suffering a concussion and
black eye. She never told me about this. She went on a cruise the next
day with her boyfriend. I found out later about the fall when I saw
pictures of her with a black eye on the cruise! So, my daughter is an
insulin-dependent diabetic with a seizure disorder. She still lives by
herself and I am terrified that she will have a seizure or go into a
diabetic coma and die.

Dr. Minarik's story of Tina reminds me that my daughter is working
full-time, attending college, has another boyfriend. In other words,
she is living life to the fullest. It sounds like that's what Tina did.
Working and enjoying talking to the customers, kidding Dr. Minarik
about his fancy cars.

I'm sorry I've dumped my daughter's health problems on you, but Tina
reminds me of Rhonda. Nothing, especially not me, can hold her back. If
something happened to her tomorrow, she has lived her life the way she
wanted and is happy doing so. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and
your family. You were blessed to have Tina in your life.

I want to control my daughter's destiny with my own bare hands. I know
this cannot be done. If I ever have to summon my deepest worries, I
will remember Tina, Dr. Minarik and Tina's Mom.

Phyllis

Quote:
Quoting CathyBC

Tina

I have thought all morning about what I could say that could possibly
help.

Tina's story really touched me. There is a woman in physical facilities
who I always briefly chat with. She is a kind quiet woman and I always
feel just a little bit happier after talking with her. Because of Tina,
I am going to learn her name.

Cathy

Quote:
Quoting Dr. Minarik

I delivered a nice folder today.....

..=2E.to Tina's mom, and I left the station as she clutched the folder to
her breast. Thank you all, my extended family, for your kind words.

Quote:
Quoting Dr. Minarik

I wandered back to that old haunt today....

and Tina's mom was quietly working with her back to the counter. I had
stopped in just once in the past month, and the silence made me feel
that the thoughts of Tina were still raw and hard on her emotions. So,
today I approached the counter and put my Diet Mountain Dew on the
register.
"I'd like to purchase this natural beverage, " I joked, "I like the
part when the dew roles down the mountain to pick up the artificial
color and sweetner..."

There was a laugh from that turned back, a warm and welcome one. She
didn't turn to face me, yet...but I knew that time was healing her
wounds and someday soon we might talk again without tears.

Quote:
Quoting Dr. Minarik

I visited that Amoco today for the first time in months.

The new manager, a nice fellow with greying hair and a beard, wondered
why I was looking around for Tina's mom. The employees of last summer
were all gone, and the place was a little colder than I remember it. I
find other places to buy my morning paper now...with more stories to
tell.

But none of them will ever remind me of how much Surgical Eyes came
together to thank Tina's Mom for her daughter. It felt good to know
that I had given her our folder...before she went on with the rest of
her life.

And, as we go on with our lives...always remember.

Powered by New Millennium Technologies of Rockford
(815)289-3891
=A9 2004

serebel

2004-12-20, 10:08 pm

Who gives a rat's XXX about this recycled SE bullshit anyway? This
"Tina" never even existed.

SErebel

doctor_my_eye@msn.com

2004-12-21, 11:09 am

There's a special place in hell for guys like you. Enjoy the heat,
little man.
serebel wrote:
> Who gives a rat's XXX about this recycled SE bullshit anyway? This
> "Tina" never even existed.
>
> SErebel

serebel

2004-12-22, 2:08 am

doctor_my_eye@msn.com wrote:
> There's a special place in hell for guys like you. Enjoy the heat,
> little man.

For me and your little fantasy girl "Tina".

SErebel

Ron Link

2004-12-22, 2:08 am

serebel - How can you even think to tread on the memory of A PERSON?
All differences aside with anyone in this newsgroup, I can't help but
cringe at your post. Please don't denigrate Tina's memory nor your own
humanity. Life is too short.

doctor_my_eye@msn.com wrote:[vbcol=seagreen]
> There's a special place in hell for guys like you. Enjoy the heat,
> little man.
> serebel wrote:

serebel

2004-12-22, 2:08 am

C'mon Ron , anyone can make up a "Tina " story for any purpose one
wants.

If you don't like it , delete it, oops, ya can't.

SErebel

Ragnar

2004-12-26, 7:10 pm

For those of you who are not tthat familiar with this group, the
person condemning SErebel to hell and calling him a little man calls
himself a doctor - and is in fact the 300lb Dr. Minarik.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones fat boy.

On 21 Dec 2004 07:03:23 -0800, doctor_my_eye@msn.com wrote:
[vbcol=seagreen]
>There's a special place in hell for guys like you. Enjoy the heat,
>little man.
>serebel wrote:

serebel

2004-12-26, 10:07 pm

Ragnar wrote:
> For those of you who are not tthat familiar with this group, the
> person condemning SErebel to hell and calling him a little man calls
> himself a doctor - and is in fact the 300lb Dr. Minarik.
> People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones fat boy.
>
>
>

Good to see you back Rags, imagine this fat quack pulling this SE
bullshit story here? We're not fools like the LME or SE crowd.

SErebel

doctor_my_eye@msn.com

2004-12-27, 7:09 pm

So, am I to be offended by the "fat" or the "quack"? The weight is now
219, thanks for asking guys. And SErebel and Ragnar will share a room
in hell. Guaranteed.

serebel

2004-12-28, 2:08 am

Aw c'mon Kenny babes, I think that I'll get my own suite there. I'l be
looking forward to poking you there for a few thousand years.

SErebel