Impotence Support - Is this "incident" common??

Author

Is this "incident" common??

greg

2006-09-07, 2:20 am

I was married for 5 years and divorced about 6 months ago. I had been
with about 15 women before my wife. Never had a problem with arousal.
Before we split the wife and I could go 3-4 times a night (no, not
often)and I would still be at full mast in the morning. I could get
hard with ease 2-3 times a day just looking at an attractive woman.
This was just 6 months ago. Since then I have had no trouble with
erections for masturbation or the daily "pop-ups".

I have since met a very nice girl, we have been casually dating for
about 3 weeks. When we were making out and what not I would get it up.
The first few times were to soon in the relationship for sex and then
she got her period. When she got off of it we were getting hot and
heavy and....NOTHING!!! I'm freaked out. I think I have now worried
myself to the point where I'm skittish about going further the next
time we get intimate. Shes a wonderful woman and was very kind about
it, but I guess it's common for men that this has happened to to second
guess everything.

About me. I'm 32 in good shape. I work out 3x a week. I drink
occasionally (I had 4 beers over 3 hours the night of the debacle) but
I smoke. I have had additional stress over the divorce (sure, some
emotional, but I am definatly well into moving on) that is financial
and I do find myself worrying over things I normally would not have in
the past. I'm hoping this is stress related and there is some type of
explaination for it. What is bad is that I have now worried myself
over this one incident that I think I have totally set myself up for a
future disaster.

I looked into some of the over the counter supplements, but tend to
agree that they are suspect at best. I don't really want to use
anything, and I do believe very strongly that all this anxiety will be
gone once I can "seal the deal". Does this happen often to guys
sometimes? Am I over-reacting? For all I know, this is completely a
one time occurance, but maybe its the start of something big? Holy
crap!! Someone with some experience help! If you need more info I'll
check back and be sure to give it.

Thanks for listening.

Jerry Sturdivant

2006-09-07, 4:23 pm

Sounds like anxiety. Not particularly 'performance' anxiety, but anxiety
about the relationship. Some men feel sex is something they do 'to' a woman,
as compared to 'with' a woman and liken it to a, 'degrading women,'
activity. (Like in a bar with a number of men: "Let go find some bimbos to
screw). This may reflect in the fact you seem to like her very much; as
compared to just a regular date; and don't want to degrade her.

Not sure if that made much sense, and I'm not a doctor and certainly don't
have enough information if I were. It was just a thought.

Give your relationship some time. As for drugs, you might give Viagra a try
on your next date.

Jerry of ASI

"greg" <june.low@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1157597595.593462.189230@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
I was married for 5 years and divorced about 6 months ago. I had been
with about 15 women before my wife. Never had a problem with arousal.
Before we split the wife and I could go 3-4 times a night (no, not
often)and I would still be at full mast in the morning. I could get
hard with ease 2-3 times a day just looking at an attractive woman.
This was just 6 months ago. Since then I have had no trouble with
erections for masturbation or the daily "pop-ups".

I have since met a very nice girl, we have been casually dating for
about 3 weeks. When we were making out and what not I would get it up.
The first few times were to soon in the relationship for sex and then
she got her period. When she got off of it we were getting hot and
heavy and....NOTHING!!! I'm freaked out. I think I have now worried
myself to the point where I'm skittish about going further the next
time we get intimate. Shes a wonderful woman and was very kind about
it, but I guess it's common for men that this has happened to to second
guess everything.

About me. I'm 32 in good shape. I work out 3x a week. I drink
occasionally (I had 4 beers over 3 hours the night of the debacle) but
I smoke. I have had additional stress over the divorce (sure, some
emotional, but I am definatly well into moving on) that is financial
and I do find myself worrying over things I normally would not have in
the past. I'm hoping this is stress related and there is some type of
explaination for it. What is bad is that I have now worried myself
over this one incident that I think I have totally set myself up for a
future disaster.

I looked into some of the over the counter supplements, but tend to
agree that they are suspect at best. I don't really want to use
anything, and I do believe very strongly that all this anxiety will be
gone once I can "seal the deal". Does this happen often to guys
sometimes? Am I over-reacting? For all I know, this is completely a
one time occurance, but maybe its the start of something big? Holy
crap!! Someone with some experience help! If you need more info I'll
check back and be sure to give it.

Thanks for listening.

LMac

2006-09-07, 4:23 pm

Jerry Sturdivant wrote:
> Sounds like anxiety. Not particularly 'performance' anxiety, but anxiety
> about the relationship. Some men feel sex is something they do 'to' a woman,
> as compared to 'with' a woman and liken it to a, 'degrading women,'
> activity. (Like in a bar with a number of men: "Let go find some bimbos to
> screw). This may reflect in the fact you seem to like her very much; as
> compared to just a regular date; and don't want to degrade her.
>
> Not sure if that made much sense, and I'm not a doctor and certainly don't
> have enough information if I were. It was just a thought.
>
> Give your relationship some time. As for drugs, you might give Viagra a try
> on your next date.
>
>
>
> Jerry of ASI
>
>
Hello Greg,

I've tagged onto Jerry's response since I agree that some chemical help
is in order; and, I agree that the stress or anxiety needs to be tackled
before it 'gnaws' on you anymore. I'm a bit more simplistic on the
source of the stress however and am inclined to believe that you've been
tossed out of a stable relationship into the competitive dating scene
where future opportunity might be based on current performance. (To
digress: Wives are more forgiving about occasional failure--they
understand that they are "stuck" with this E.D. business! Dates have to
make decisions on things like marriage or who's their next date. In a
competitive dating situation, an erectile failure can be memorable--to
both parties). If this is a stressor for you, Viagra or Cialis can be a
good bridge (insurance policy) until you get all corners of the tent
nailed down.

Either way though, a Cialis or Viagra platform should help you work
around the mental aspects of the problem. I'm quite concerned about the
smoking and will dwell on that in this post.

Here's a plan: First, see your doc and get a Cialis or Viagra
prescription. Buy it and use it--plenty of Cialis users here can
provide dosing suggestions--just ask. Although I'm not a Cialis user,
I'd lean toward Cialis since it's a more subtle support platform than
Viagra and probably well suited to casual dating and reduced stress. If
you need to save some money, also make an oversea's purchase of a Cialis
imitation, relying on the domestic stuff until the imitation is in hand.
International shipments are slow and less than 100% reliable.

While you're at the doc, get a recommendation or prescription for an
oral or patch based nicotine delivery system and scrap smoking now.
Later on, figure out how to beat the nicotine addiction and when you get
the other stressors out of your life, try flying without the Cialis
platform. My hunch is that giving up nicotine right now would not be
productive. Just quit pumping Carbon Monoxide, heavy metals and other
chemical uglies into your dick.

This is the quick fix approach. Remember though that this group can
help you though E.D. situations worse than you're now experiencing.

So, here's the ugly pitch on smoking.

Some stats: I recently read a trials report on injectable formulations.
What stuck was the demography of the trials group--just over 1000
randomly selected, "non-geriatric" guys with a medical diagnosis of E.D.
and no significant Cardio-vascular history. Ages ranged from 28 to 55.
The median age of guys who had never smoked was just over 51. The
median age of guys who had smoked was just under 44.

Question: At what age do you want to hang it up and become chemistry
dependent ?

Second, personal experience: I started smoking at age 20. As a pilot I
stayed in damn good shape--always tried to look and act like a good
"meal ticket." Smoking was a part of my total sex act: Couple of
orgasms then a cigarette break and pillow-talk--then more sex, more
smoking etc. Everytime I got it up, I pumped more toxic waste into my
penis. First erectile failure--age 29. Second failure about three
months later. No clue that smoking was a contributor to the problem.
Got scared, gave up the "chase" and got married before my 30th birthday.

I stopped and started about every 5 years until age 51 when I quit for
good. Struggled with marginal erections until my 60s when started
lurking this group. At age 67 I hit the E.D. wall and became dependent
on meds. Thanks to the magic of "chemistry" and a targeted erectile
fitness program I'm now 73 and functional again -- not always on my
terms or when my spouse desires it. We get by with what the chemistry
makes available. Very lucky -- no lung cancer, yet!

Question: Want to follow in my footsteps?

Crude bottom line: Nicotine, by itself is not helpful in the vascular
processes that support a quality erection. More seriously, smoke as a
nicotine delivery system sucks because the CO and other chemicals in the
smoke desensitize the inside of your penis to the chemical signals that
trigger erection. If you must have the nicotine, get it from a
pill or patch until you can break that part of the habit. For now,
eliminate the Carbon Monoxide and other chemicals in the smoke.

....Lmac