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Home > Archive > Impotence Support > June 2006 > Advice
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| Justin 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
| Maybe some of you here can give some ideas on how best to handle this
situation. I was single for a LONG time and only realized that I had
ED problems when I started dating someone a few months back. After
waiting to see the doctor and finally getting all the blood work done I
finally received some samples of Viagra. Unfortunately, before I got
to give them a try with my new girlfriend we broke up.
How do I break the news to an new girlfriend now that I know that this
may be a problem??
Thanks
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| Jerry Sturdivant 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
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"Justin" <jj2410241@hotmail.com> wrote
> Maybe some of you here can give some ideas on how best
> to handle this situation. I was single for a LONG time
> and only realized that I had ED problems when I started
> dating someone a few months back.
If you didn't have orgasms or many erections in all that time, it just might
be time itself that will get you going again.
> After waiting to see the doctor and finally getting all
> the blood work done I finally received some samples of Viagra.
> Unfortunately, before I got to give them a try with my
> new girlfriend we broke up.
>
> How do I break the news to an new girlfriend now
> that I know that this may be a problem??
"May be a problem" is the key here. Try taking the pill that 'first evening.'
If, in subsequent evenings, you find you're still having a problem, it might
just be part of the "intimacy talk" where you bring that in. In many cases,
you'll find the woman is worried about HER performance, looks, and actions.
It's all a part of personal anxieties.
Jerry of ASI
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Justin wrote:
> Maybe some of you here can give some ideas on how best to handle this
> situation. I was single for a LONG time and only realized that I had
> ED problems when I started dating someone a few months back. After
> waiting to see the doctor and finally getting all the blood work done I
> finally received some samples of Viagra. Unfortunately, before I got
> to give them a try with my new girlfriend we broke up.
>
> How do I break the news to an new girlfriend now that I know that this
> may be a problem??
>
> Thanks
________
All these drugs should be tried out solo first; then you have a good
idea what to expect when you use them for sex with a partner.
Jim
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| Wanderer 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
| On Wed, 31 May 2006 13:41:48 -0400, Jim wrote
(in article <1149097308.346417.11490@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
> All these drugs should be tried out solo first; then you have a good
> idea what to expect when you use them for sex with a partner.
>
> Jim
I disagree with your advice, Jim. I think the drugs tend to work better when
you are with a partner than when you are alone. In fact, all the available ED
drugs work just fine for me with a partner... solo, they barely do a thing
for a me (porno or no porno). In any case, I think the effects are variable
with individuals.
Wanderer
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| Wanderer 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
| On Tue, 30 May 2006 23:38:06 -0400, Justin wrote
(in article <1149046686.548994.182180@i40g2000cwc.googlegroups.com> ):
>
> How do I break the news to an new girlfriend now that I know that this
> may be a problem??
It's a judgment call. In my own case, back in the days when I suffered from
performance anxiety, I found it most helpful to tell women in advance that I
sometimes have trouble, and not to take it personally. (Some seemed to regard
this as a challenge and rose to the occasion.)
Others here feel that there is no need to let the woman know you are using ED
meds. Maybe the best answer is to wait until you feel comfortable enough with
her, and serious enough about her, to share that little secret.
Wanderer
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Wanderer wrote:
> On Wed, 31 May 2006 13:41:48 -0400, Jim wrote
> (in article <1149097308.346417.11490@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
>
>
>
> I disagree with your advice, Jim. I think the drugs tend to work better when
> you are with a partner than when you are alone. In fact, all the available ED
> drugs work just fine for me with a partner... solo, they barely do a thing
> for a me (porno or no porno). In any case, I think the effects are variable
> with individuals.
>
> Wanderer
I disagree with your disagreement, but that is OK. We all have
different reactions to these drugs.
For me, it is a lot easier on my head (the one with the brain) to know
in advance about how long it is going to take for V, C, or L to take
effect; that way I am less likely to embarrass myself in bed with a
soft one when, had I waited another half hour, I might have been hard
and didn't know that.
With a new PDE5 drug, you don't know in advance of having sex whether
you are going to get a blistering headache (or none), or go to bed with
a beet face or whatever  Using these drugs a few times usually
reduces their negative side effects. Better to have that experience a
behind you before the Main Event.
And, you don't know if the darned thing is going to work at all. There
are men who get nothing from V or L and do respond well to C, and so
on. If they were prescribed or given V, or L, and that did not work,
the guy has to chalk up another bed failure whereas he might know in
advance that one or another did not work for him and so save himself
another failure; we all know that Performance Anxiety is cumulative in
its own effect.
There is ample evidence that men are poorly instructed by doctors about
the foibles of these various drugs and have initial failures because
they did not dose correctly, did not consider that food might screw
things up; that one or another other drug could take a very long time
to kick in. C takes at least 8 hours to work well for me, for example.
I learned that by experimenting by myself and saved myself being limp
or having only a "stuffer" because I did some personal training before
I had sex on it.
I still recommend solo tries. They can save anxiety and be very good
"in service" self-instruction.
Jim
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| Jim wrote:
> Wanderer wrote:
>
> I disagree with your disagreement, but that is OK. We all have
> different reactions to these drugs.
>
> For me, it is a lot easier on my head (the one with the brain) to know
> in advance about how long it is going to take for V, C, or L to take
> effect; that way I am less likely to embarrass myself in bed with a
> soft one when, had I waited another half hour, I might have been hard
> and didn't know that.
>
> With a new PDE5 drug, you don't know in advance of having sex whether
> you are going to get a blistering headache (or none), or go to bed with
> a beet face or whatever Using these drugs a few times usually
> reduces their negative side effects. Better to have that experience a
> behind you before the Main Event.
>
> And, you don't know if the darned thing is going to work at all. There
> are men who get nothing from V or L and do respond well to C, and so
> on. If they were prescribed or given V, or L, and that did not work,
> the guy has to chalk up another bed failure whereas he might know in
> advance that one or another did not work for him and so save himself
> another failure; we all know that Performance Anxiety is cumulative in
> its own effect.
>
> There is ample evidence that men are poorly instructed by doctors about
> the foibles of these various drugs and have initial failures because
> they did not dose correctly, did not consider that food might screw
> things up; that one or another other drug could take a very long time
> to kick in. C takes at least 8 hours to work well for me, for example.
> I learned that by experimenting by myself and saved myself being limp
> or having only a "stuffer" because I did some personal training before
> I had sex on it.
>
> I still recommend solo tries. They can save anxiety and be very good
> "in service" self-instruction.
>
> Jim
>
On the doctor--instruction aspect. When I first went on Viagra, only
the Uros in the HMO could prescribe it. More recently that's been
switched to the PCPs (pcp hours cost less than uro hours.)
I got good advice and titration chalk talk from the male nurse who
worked in the Uro clinic and I took to Viagra like a duck to water. Now
my PCP, (female) has expressed frustration that her patients aren't
always taking well to PDE5 inhibitors.
I think that credibility and quality of instruction might be at the root
of this problem. There's something to, "fly before you buy" and, "a
couple of simulator runs never hurt before you roll out on the runway
for that first launch." JMTCW
....Lmac
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| Jerry The Jerkoff 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
|
Justin wrote:
> Maybe some of you here can give some ideas on how best to handle this
> situation. I was single for a LONG time and only realized that I had
> ED problems when I started dating someone a few months back. After
> waiting to see the doctor and finally getting all the blood work done I
> finally received some samples of Viagra. Unfortunately, before I got
> to give them a try with my new girlfriend we broke up.
>
> How do I break the news to an new girlfriend now that I know that this
> may be a problem??
Don't tell her at all. Even the best females can't keep their mouths
shut so unless you want everyone to know don't even mention it to her.
>
> Thanks
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| Wanderer 2006-06-04, 8:06 am |
| On Wed, 31 May 2006 15:19:28 -0400, Jim wrote
(in article <1149103168.853537.226470@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
> I still recommend solo tries. They can save anxiety and be very good
> "in service" self-instruction.
My only real caveat is that some men may try the drug solo, find that (like
me) the drug does nothing for them in that situation, and will dismiss the
drug as ineffective -- when it MIGHT work brilliantly if they tried it in a
situation with a warm body next to them. Trust me, there are some men for
whom these drugs don't do much solo... even though they may work great when
you are with a partner. I have read many comments in this group from people
who have tried Viagra, etc. solo, and decided the drug doesn't work for them.
Even if you try it first solo, my advice is to try it with a partner before
you dismiss it as something that doesn't work for you.
Wanderer
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| Doctor Atomic 2006-06-06, 2:22 am |
| What in the world would obligate you to tell her you are popping a pill?
Unless it's a very long and intimate relationship, it's nobody's business
but yours. Somehow now we live in a world where a little privacy is
politically incorrect? If you were taking a high blood pressure pill, would
you feel obligated to tell a new date? Jeez.
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