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| Jim Lansfield 2006-05-02, 1:02 am |
| Hi folks. I have erection problems, and I'm not sure if they are
physical or mental. I'm married, but rarely have sex. My wife has
health issues and we have a problem with one of our children, so sex
isn't even part of the equation in our life. Anyway, I have a problem
keeping an erection. I've used viagra and now I have some Levitra that
the doctor gave me (samples). This might sound harsh, but I have
cheated on my wife several times over the years and used viagra and
it's worked great. The thing is, when I masturbate, I can get an
erection when I fantasize about a certain thing (too embarrassing to
talk about the actual fantasy) When I think about other things, I find
myself losing my erection. This confuses me, because I would think
that if I had ED, I would have it all the time. Is this common, or is
my ED more of a mental thing rather than a physical thing. Any help
appreciated.
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| Jim Lansfield wrote:
> Hi folks. I have erection problems, and I'm not sure if they are
> physical or mental.
Really doesn't matter.
> I'm married, but rarely have sex. My wife has
> health issues and we have a problem with one of our children, so sex
> isn't even part of the equation in our life. Anyway, I have a problem
> keeping an erection. I've used viagra and now I have some Levitra that
> the doctor gave me (samples). This might sound harsh, but I have
> cheated on my wife several times over the years and used viagra and
> it's worked great. The thing is, when I masturbate, I can get an
> erection when I fantasize about a certain thing (too embarrassing to
> talk about the actual fantasy) When I think about other things, I find
> myself losing my erection. This confuses me, because I would think
> that if I had ED, I would have it all the time. Is this common, or is
> my ED more of a mental thing rather than a physical thing. Any help
> appreciated.
My GP and Uro have both avoided offering a "diagnosis" and I think
that's wise. Unless it's the result of organic disease or trauma, most
mid-life E.D. is probably a mix of physical and mental factors. Anxiety
from those factors results in secondary E.D., a complex ball of wax that
most of us here have experienced. I think there's little point in
dealing with 'root' causes of E.D. It's probably a waste of time &
money and causes lost opportunities to get hard and get it on!
Next, what are your objectives? Do you want to just improve your
masturbation or do you want to move back into a sexual relationship?
Either way this group can offer suggestions. As Lucy in the Peanuts
comic says, Psychiatric care is 5 cents extra--and worth something less.
I think the best approach is twofold. 1) Deal with the symptoms and not
the cause. If your doc has OK's it and a shot or pill helps, do it. 2)
Second suggestion has to deal with the fantasy but that depends on where
you are going with this.
....LMac
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| There's nothing wrong with fantasies, Jim. If the marriage is solid in
ways other than sex together at this time, it should be worth some
creative thinking on your part in getting off.
We all get wired in different ways. Any kind of daily stress (job,
illnesses, money) change the erectile dynamics.
Lmac gave you some good advice. Most of us here have found Better
Living Through Chemistry. Try the Levitra; then ask the same doctor
for a trial run on Cialis. All three work in different ways. You may
settle on one, or choose among the three depending on the result you
want at any time.
Jim
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| Jim Lansfield 2006-05-04, 1:01 am |
| On Tue, 02 May 2006 12:12:16 -0700, LMac <lmac5491@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Jim Lansfield wrote:
>
>Really doesn't matter.
>
>
>My GP and Uro have both avoided offering a "diagnosis" and I think
>that's wise. Unless it's the result of organic disease or trauma, most
>mid-life E.D. is probably a mix of physical and mental factors. Anxiety
>from those factors results in secondary E.D., a complex ball of wax that
>most of us here have experienced. I think there's little point in
>dealing with 'root' causes of E.D. It's probably a waste of time &
>money and causes lost opportunities to get hard and get it on!
>
>Next, what are your objectives? Do you want to just improve your
>masturbation or do you want to move back into a sexual relationship?
Definitely want to move into a sexual relationship. My marriage is on
the rocks, and I want to move on and have sex again on a regular
basis. I must admit that I am a bit ashamed of my ED. The times I've
used Viagra or Levitra, the women didn't know about it, but if I get
into a relationship with someone, she's going to have to know about it
eventually. Being married and having ED is one thing; going out there
and having a girlfriend is another thing. A wife is more understanding
than a girlfriend, I would think. I wouldn't know how to break it to
her.
>Either way this group can offer suggestions. As Lucy in the Peanuts
>comic says, Psychiatric care is 5 cents extra--and worth something less.
>
>I think the best approach is twofold. 1) Deal with the symptoms and not
>the cause. If your doc has OK's it and a shot or pill helps, do it. 2)
>Second suggestion has to deal with the fantasy but that depends on where
>you are going with this.
>
>...LMac
I suppose I was hoping to "fix" the problem without taking pills, but
I see it's not worth it, and probably is a waste of time. I think the
thing that bothers me the most is how I will break this to my next
girlfriend once I'm divorced.
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| Jim Lansfield 2006-05-04, 1:01 am |
| On 3 May 2006 12:35:36 -0700, "Jim" <avocet@hawaii.rr.com> wrote:
>There's nothing wrong with fantasies, Jim. If the marriage is solid in
>ways other than sex together at this time, it should be worth some
>creative thinking on your part in getting off.
>
>We all get wired in different ways. Any kind of daily stress (job,
>illnesses, money) change the erectile dynamics.
>
>Lmac gave you some good advice. Most of us here have found Better
>Living Through Chemistry. Try the Levitra; then ask the same doctor
>for a trial run on Cialis. All three work in different ways. You may
>settle on one, or choose among the three depending on the result you
>want at any time.
>
I've never even heard of Cialis. What is the main difference between
the three? (Viagra, Levitra, Cialis)
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| Viagra and Levitra tend to pack more intial punch - V especially, for
me. Cialis works more subtly and has a much longer effective period,
about 36 hrs for most users after dosing. Can be longer. Nice for
those times when you don't know for sure whether you're going to have
sex or not, or you thought you were and it didn't pan out for whatever
reason? You're still ready to go a long time later.
Jim
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| Jim Lansfield 2006-05-04, 11:01 am |
| On 3 May 2006 22:25:35 -0700, "Jim" <avocet@hawaii.rr.com> wrote:
>Viagra and Levitra tend to pack more intial punch - V especially, for
>me. Cialis works more subtly and has a much longer effective period,
>about 36 hrs for most users after dosing. Can be longer. Nice for
>those times when you don't know for sure whether you're going to have
>sex or not, or you thought you were and it didn't pan out for whatever
>reason? You're still ready to go a long time later.
>
That sounds like something I'd be interested in. The whole spontaneity
thing gets thrown out the door with the other drugs. When you say it
works more subtly, does it still give you a full erection after using
it, like the other 2? Or does it take a longer time for it to kick in.
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