|
Home > Archive > Impotence Support > August 2005 > afraid of losing the girl of my dreams..
You are viewing an archived Text-only version of the thread.
To view this thread in it's original format and/or if you want to reply to
this thread please [click here]
| Author |
afraid of losing the girl of my dreams..
|
|
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 8:50 am |
| I have been sufferring from an abnormally low sex drive for the last
few months. Although I can force an erection and sometimes wake up with
one, I don't have the usual strong urges, I don't get erections
frequently during the day and I couldn't last long in bed.
This is extremely frustating as I am usually a very sexually driven
person and have recently met someone is every guys dream, VERY
attractive and I would very much like to have sex with her. I have the
mental urge but not the physhical urge.
I have tried
-improving my diet
-exercising
-taking vitamins and zinc pills
but nothing is working. I have had a testosterone test and my levels
appear to be fine.
This is really getting me down and I'm worried I'll lose this girl if I
don't sleep with her soon.
Please, please help
| |
| Wanderer 2005-08-24, 8:50 am |
| On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 5:27:54 -0400, brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote
(in message <1124875674.854318.55420@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
> I have been sufferring from an abnormally low sex drive for the last
> few months. Although I can force an erection and sometimes wake up with
> one, I don't have the usual strong urges, I don't get erections
> frequently during the day and I couldn't last long in bed.
>
> This is extremely frustating as I am usually a very sexually driven
> person and have recently met someone is every guys dream, VERY
> attractive and I would very much like to have sex with her. I have the
> mental urge but not the physhical urge.
>
> I have tried
> -improving my diet
> -exercising
> -taking vitamins and zinc pills
>
> but nothing is working. I have had a testosterone test and my levels
> appear to be fine.
>
> This is really getting me down and I'm worried I'll lose this girl if I
> don't sleep with her soon.
>
> Please, please help
>
What has changed in your life in the last few months? Are you taking any
medications now that you weren't before? When did you first notice the change
in your sexuality? If you had a high sex drive until a few months ago, what
do you think might have brought about the sudden decline?
Wanderer
| |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 8:50 am |
| Wanderer wrote:
> On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 5:27:54 -0400, brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote
> (in message <1124875674.854318.55420@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
> What has changed in your life in the last few months? Are you taking any
> medications now that you weren't before? When did you first notice the change
> in your sexuality? If you had a high sex drive until a few months ago, what
> do you think might have brought about the sudden decline?
>
> Wanderer
Thanks for your reply Wanderer. Honestly nothing really has changed and
I don't know what could be causing this. I went through a period of
taking Xanax recreationally, a couple of times a week. I was drinking a
few times a week but I stopped this weeks ago. I think it must be out
of my system by now.
I also went through a pornography binge for a while. When my libido
went away I realised this might be a problem so I have refrained from
it for the last 8 weeks.
Maybe I should mention that I have had this problem at least once
before and my libido came back after a few months, but it wasn't such a
problem at the time as I was single.
| |
| Wanderer 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
| On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 8:19:09 -0400, brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote
(in message <1124885949.021602.207550@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com> ):
> Thanks for your reply Wanderer. Honestly nothing really has changed and
> I don't know what could be causing this. I went through a period of
> taking Xanax recreationally, a couple of times a week. I was drinking a
> few times a week but I stopped this weeks ago. I think it must be out
> of my system by now.
Bingo. Xanax is a known libido reducer and cause of ED, especially in doses
you would require to get high. Alcohol increases the side effects. There is a
lot of anecdotal evidence suggesting that the anti-sexual effects of drugs
such as SSRIs and benzodiazepines (Xanax) may be long lasting -- considerably
longer lasting than the pharmaceutical companies would have you believe. I am
also guessing that if you have experimented with Xanax recreationally, you
have probably experimented with other drugs. Both marijuana and ecstasy can
depress the libido. Cocaine also leads to impotence eventually. So my guess
is that you have screwed up your system with Xanax and you need to ride it
out. If I were you, I would stay well clear of recreational drugs, with the
possible exception of beer or wine in moderation.
Wanderer
| |
| Mr. Softy 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
|
<brasseye@coolgoose.com> wrote in message
news:1124875674.854318.55420@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> I have been sufferring from an abnormally low sex drive for the last
> few months. Although I can force an erection and sometimes wake up with
> one, I don't have the usual strong urges, I don't get erections
> frequently during the day and I couldn't last long in bed.
>
> This is extremely frustating as I am usually a very sexually driven
> person and have recently met someone is every guys dream, VERY
> attractive and I would very much like to have sex with her. I have the
> mental urge but not the physhical urge.
>
> I have tried
> -improving my diet
> -exercising
> -taking vitamins and zinc pills
>
> but nothing is working. I have had a testosterone test and my levels
> appear to be fine.
>
> This is really getting me down and I'm worried I'll lose this girl if I
> don't sleep with her soon.
>
> Please, please help
>
How old are you? I don't think men past their 20s tend to have a lot of
spontaneous erections during the day. Don't put unrealistic expectation on
yourself. The fact that you can have erections and have nocturnal erections
means that things are still working. My guess would be that your problems
are primarily psychological. Maybe the fact that you see your partner as
very desirable and your anxiety about hinging your relationship on sex is a
self-defeating situation. Still, this is just a guess and I would recommend
that you talk it over with your physician. Undoubtedly, you will be offered
a trial package of one of the ED drugs if everything else is OK. Perhaps
using the ED drugs will build your confidence and you may find you no longer
need them after a while.
If you feel close to this person, you might also tell her how you feel. Let
her know that you find her very sexy and beautiful and that you might need
her to be a little patient with you in bed. Don't rule out getting some
therapy.
| |
|
| <brasseye@coolgoose.com> wrote in message
news:1124885949.021602.207550@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Wanderer wrote:
>
>
> Thanks for your reply Wanderer. Honestly nothing really has changed and
> I don't know what could be causing this. I went through a period of
> taking Xanax recreationally, a couple of times a week. I was drinking a
> few times a week but I stopped this weeks ago. I think it must be out
> of my system by now.
>
> I also went through a pornography binge for a while. When my libido
> went away I realised this might be a problem so I have refrained from
> it for the last 8 weeks.
>
> Maybe I should mention that I have had this problem at least once
> before and my libido came back after a few months, but it wasn't such a
> problem at the time as I was single.
>
Might it be that the fact that you are no longer single, as you state, may
have something to do with this problem? Just a suggestion. I assume that
the very attractive girl of your dreams is not your wife.
--
GPG
| |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
| GPG wrote:
> Might it be that the fact that you are no longer single, as you state, may
> have something to do with this problem? Just a suggestion. I assume that
> the very attractive girl of your dreams is not your wife.
>
> --
> GPG
I'm not married 
I would consider myself in a relationship with this girl, so that is
what i ment by that.
| |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
| I really don't think Xanax is the problem as it has a short life and
everywhere I've read seems to suggest it exiting the system within
hours, not months. Nothing I have done has been in massive excess as I
tend to do things in moderation. So, low doses of Xanax, moderate
alcohol intake, small amounts of weed about once a month, I don't think
that's it. I appreciate your opinion though, thanks, and I will
definately continue to stay clean.
| |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
| Yes I was thinking of that Softy. Letting it out in the open (gulp). I
know though, that she is longing for sex and is a very sexual person
(as I am, was?) so it makes me think twice about whether I want to say
anything.
I'm 24. My problem actually started a few weeks before I met this girl
so I don't think she is the problem.
I just want to go back to how I was a few months ago, beating off like
a madman at every given opportunity (lol). But this time I have someone
gorgeous and willing so no beating off. Life is cruel.
| |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com 2005-08-24, 11:47 am |
| By the way, I can only really acheive an erection if I look at hardcore
pornography. I'm sure that's not normal. It hasn't been for me at
least.
I don't want to get into the situation where I might not be able to
achieve one for her and she thinks I'm not interested (or just as bad,
frigid).
| |
| Mr. Softy 2005-08-24, 5:47 pm |
|
<brasseye@coolgoose.com> wrote in message
news:1124900066.483708.149350@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Yes I was thinking of that Softy. Letting it out in the open (gulp). I
> know though, that she is longing for sex and is a very sexual person
> (as I am, was?) so it makes me think twice about whether I want to say
> anything.
>
> I'm 24. My problem actually started a few weeks before I met this girl
> so I don't think she is the problem.
>
> I just want to go back to how I was a few months ago, beating off like
> a madman at every given opportunity (lol). But this time I have someone
> gorgeous and willing so no beating off. Life is cruel.
>
Sexual function and desire can get derailed temporarily when other things in
your life go wonky. I find that stress and/or depression will do it for me.
I have realized that I haven't had sex or masturbated for a couple of weeks
and other times I am doing it once a day. I think it is a sign that
something else is wrong more than there is primary sexual dysfunction. The
first few times I had sex (at 17), I just couldn't orgasm. Then my
girlfriend got on the pill and the problem disappeared. Obviously the
anxiety of getting her pregnant prevented me from ejaculating. Sometimes
the problem isn't immediately obvious. Eventually I realized that I was gay,
and sex was better than ever until the last couple of years when the
erections starting becoming unreliable. Now that I am taking Viagra, things
are better than they have been in a while.
You can always satisfy your woman orally and digitally. According to the
experts, most woman don't achieve orgasm from penetration anyway and require
oral or manual stimulation. I think that you could just tell her that
sometimes you don't stay hard when you are really excited, and for her not
to take it personally. In addition, you can always try one of the ED meds,
preferably from your physician. If that isn't possible, you could always
buy some online. If you do try the drugs, be sure to give them a few test
drives by yourself so you know what to expect.
| |
| Wanderer 2005-08-24, 5:47 pm |
| On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 12:22:53 -0400, brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote
(in message <1124900573.250518.188920@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com> ):
> By the way, I can only really acheive an erection if I look at hardcore
> pornography. I'm sure that's not normal. It hasn't been for me at
> least.
How long have you only been able to achieve an erection by looking at porn?
Is that just the last two months? Or is that the "normal" state of affairs?
W
| |
| David 2005-08-24, 10:47 pm |
| On 24 Aug 2005 02:27:54 -0700, brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote:
> This is really getting me down and I'm worried I'll lose this girl if I
> don't sleep with her soon.
I think I've posted here enough for tonight but can I just say, if she
really is the one then I'm sure waiting for a while before you guys have
sex won't make her lose interest in you.
David
| |
| Mungy@HorribleISP.gov 2005-08-24, 10:47 pm |
| brasseye@coolgoose.com wrote:
>I really don't think Xanax is the problem as it has a short life and
>everywhere I've read seems to suggest it exiting the system within
>hours, not months. Nothing I have done has been in massive excess as I
>tend to do things in moderation. So, low doses of Xanax, moderate
>alcohol intake, small amounts of weed about once a month, I don't think
>that's it. I appreciate your opinion though, thanks, and I will
>definately continue to stay clean.
Mean half-life of Xanax is 11.2 hours with a range of 6.3 - 26.9 hours
(up to 65 hours if you have alcohol-impaired liver function) however
that's not the problem. The body has a nasty self-regulatory function
whereby if the receptors for a particular chemical (usually a
neurotransmitter or hormone) are overloaded they'll down-regulate and,
depending on the receptor take weeks, months, or even years to
recover. This is why heroin addicts have to continuously up the dose
and why Ecstasy users say they can never repeat the thrill of their
first time.
I forget the nitty-gritty but basically there are four types of
action, three of which cause the problems described in the paragraph
above. The fourth, a blocking or antagonist function, doesn't result
in any receptor change. Viagra etc are PDE-5 *blockers* and thus are
not susceptible to causing the long-term problems.
While the monograph says that the mechanism of action of Xanax is
unknown it also says that it binds to receptors at several sites in
the CNS causing a dose-related depressive activity. It's probable that
over-loading these receptors, as you'd likely do if you took it
recreationally, would cause their eventual down-regulation. Whether
these same receptors have any function in the sexual cycle is unknown
(at least to me) but I'd think that it's at least a serious
possibility.
|
| |
|
|