| viagrabluehaze@yahoo.com 2005-05-23, 8:50 am |
| Hi guys,
Last November, I tested out V,C, and L for the first time after
experiencing some extremely distressing ED probs. I posted a thread,
but I'm a knuckle-head and can't figure out how to continue it here. If
you're interested in reading the history, search on "viagrabluehaze".
Summary: I was a healthy 36 YO fella (now 37), who'd only had ONE ED
experience in his life previously; I was 22, she was a 19 YO
cheerleader. We were buck-naked on my brother's porch...she was
straddling me, and moaning "I want you IN me!". NOTHING!!! My little
bastard was comatose!!! Well...that was 15 years ago, and I'll never
forget driving her home...EVER! It definitely was all psychological.
Anyway...I successfully started Viagra last November after my dick went
DOA, and had some AMAZING rock-hard sex...broke up with my girlfriend
in December for spurious reasons (ha!), and let her back in
February...long unimportant story, trust me. We have had a very
fulfilling sexual relationship since, and I'd like to share my
experiences since November.
Wellllll...I broke up with my girlfriend for reasons of principal: she
is a very attractive and youthful 35 YO mother of two beautiful
teenaged daughters. It was a very strange social environment: she got
pregnant at 17, and married the father. They had a decent 12 year
marriage, and she didn't know much else. She was very sheltered, and
since she is so youthful and cute, she's never had to deal with feeling
unattractive; guys are constantly trying to pick her up. Also, she
knows she's a cutie, so she tends to be cavalier about a lot of things
since men in general will fawn over her. On the flip-side, she is also
SUPER protective of her private life, and since guys drool over her,
she assumed that the guy who drooled over her (and banged her) ...yeah,
that's me!...would also end up drooling over her 17 YO daughter. Sounds
warped, but that was her perspective. In any case, I believe that this
and other unnecessary tension in our relationship may have contributed
to my ED, but only slightly.
Well, my brothers, since I reinitiated relations with my girlfriend in
February, I voluntarily decided to incorporate a different tack on how
I dealt with my sexual partner. I figured my psychology might also be
at fault WRT my ED. I'm a nice guy...a REALLY nice guy...I always have
been. I'm 6'3", well built, intelligent, handsome, and people don't
XXXX with me. It's been this way for nearly 20-years. Hence, I've never
needed to be aggressive. Women have come to me, and I took them. I've
really never had negative experiences in dealing with what fell in my
lap...hadn't ever had to deal with common rejection. In any case, ONE
mitigating factor in my dick-problem was my poor little brain needing
to navigate the maze that is my girlfriend's brain while at the same
time being a sexually effective male.
OK, we got back together, I was using V for drop-of-the-hat liaisons,
and C for weekend adventures. They both worked great, but after a
month, I figured there MUST be something deeper contributing to my ED.
I exercise regularly, and I don't eat too badly. In fact, I lift
pretty heavy weights and I figured that my testosterone should be
normal. I decided to see a urologist, and got a T-level test in March.
It turned out that my testosterone was normal-low. I forget what the
units of measurement are, but I was 312, and the "average" was
between 300 and 1500 (nearly hermaphroditic?).
It just so happens that I have suffered from a very low-grade
depression for many years. It's been nothing major, just a pervasive
malaise. From my own research, I deduced that my low T may not only be
causing my ED, but my depression as well. My doctor prescribed me a
regimen of 5mg Testim 1% daily. It's a testosterone supplement.
It's expensive ($7/day) and my insurance won't cover it since they
consider it a "recreational" drug. It has taken about 3-months for
it to take affect, but I have to admit it has been worth it. I have
been weaning myself of the V and C even though the T has been giving me
regular erections and rampant sexual thoughts; I fear another ED
experience! Positive side: I now have erections that wake me in the
morning. Also, I've been getting those wonderful sexual thoughts I
used to get back in the day in high-school while staring at the women
at the gym. That may sound silly, but it's VERY palpable. It makes me
really happy that I can feel that way again. Viagra can't do that,
and my doctor didn't mention that that might be a side-effect. I
suppose it's perfectly natural.
I've never shared the fact that I've used V and C with my
girlfriend. She has no idea that I've been using testosterone either,
though she definitely has commented on the difference. When I began V
in November, she was pleased (see my previous posts), but since I began
using the testosterone supplements, the difference has been gradual
though very rewarding for us both. At first, I had a feeling of
confidence from the T which now I mainly attribute to the placebo
effect, but after a few months, I truly feel like a man again. I WANT
sex more often, I've started to have those "embarrassing" boner
experiences I used to have in high-school (I LOVE it now!). I don't
feel that lame-assed hopeless depression, and I have become more
aggressive with my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, by aggressive, I
don't by ANY means mean violent. I love her, and she's a delicate
little thing. SHE appreciates that I go caveman every once in a while
and XXXX her like an animal. That's what it's all about anyway.
None of this Sesame Street crap that my generation was brought up on.
Men are men, and women are women. I act more like a man, I owed that to
both of us. She's taking care of being the woman just fine.
Topic for another thread: How can these beautiful, delicate, sexy
little creatures be so sexually attracted to us hairy, pot-bellied,
burping, farting bastards?
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