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Home > Archive > Politics and Medicine > January 2006 > Alt Fight!
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| Mark Probert 2006-01-08, 11:42 am |
| johngohde@naturalhealthperspective.com wrote:
> PeterB wrote:
>
>
>
>
> Maybe you wait patiently doing absolutely nothing, but I do NOT.
>
> Just thought that you might want to know, if a car tries to run you
> over you should get out of the way. But, of course if you simply
> pretend that the car is NOT in front of you, it doesn't mean that it
> wouldn't have avoided you anyhow. Does it, Dumb Dumb?
>
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| Twittering One 2006-01-08, 11:43 am |
| .... somethimes you're too sick
or scared to move.
But you can pick up the phone.
"The Emergency Call Waiting Song,"
Phil Alexander
On the first ring of waiting for my emergency
A burglar broke in and robbed me
On the second ring of waiting for my emergency
Two drug-crazed hippies
And their dealer broke in and robbed me
On the third ring of waiting for my emergency
Three doped-up junkies
Two big alsatians
And a bent copper came and robbed me
On the fourth ring of waiting for my emergency
Four-nicating youngsters
Three used-up condoms
Two odd positions
And some kind of a shoot for page 3
On the fifth ring of waiting for my emergency
Five more rings
Four-ced entery
Free-loading ****s
Too annoyed for words
And another bastard came to rob me
On the sixth ring of waiting for my emergency
Six nasty stab-wounds
Five bleeding holes
Four stitches needed
Three tetanus jabs
Two pints of blood
In a transfusion needed for me
On the seventh ring of waiting for my emergency
Seven drinks for comfort
Six wounds a-bleeding
Five bloody towels
Four-bearance needed
Three-zing my balls off
To-urniquet tightened
And a virtual lobotomy
On the eighth ring of waiting for my emergency
Eight guys arrested
Seven wounds a-bleeding
Six months remanded
Five years to serve
Four failed appeals
Three years' remission
Too well-behaved
And they're out, now they're out to get me
On the ninth ring of waiting for my emergency
Nine nine nine dialed [or 9-1-1 if you prefer]
Eight wounds a-bleeding
Seven fingers missing
Six on the floor
Five fingerprints
Four-ensic science
Three suspects
Two or less arrests
And some cop film that's on the TV
On the tenth ring of waiting for my emergency
Ten pints of lager
Nine wounds a-bleeding
Eight odd intruders
Seven swingers swinging
Six geezers laying
Five dangly "things"
Four fingers used
Three-some with Rover
Two running cameras
And a DVD copy for me
On the eleventh ring of waiting for my emergency
Eleven double-brandies
Ten wounds a-bleeding
Nine bottles, broken
Eight glasses splattered
Seven saucers smashing
Sick's heaved all over
Five minutes' peace
Four what it's worth
Three hours for clean-up
Two bins full
And a phone that still rings endlessly
On the twelfth ring of waiting for my emergency
Twelve large tequilas
Eleven wounds a-bleeding
Ten pimps a-pimping
Nine dealers dealing
Eight kilos smuggling
Seven mill for laundering
Six gangstas shooting
Five hours on hold
Four-gotten why
Free-zer full of dope
Too pissed to think
And then the police at last answered me...
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"Twittering One" <twitteringone@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1136586751.432853.154250@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> ... somethimes you're too sick
> or scared to move.
>
> But you can pick up the phone.
>
> "The Emergency Call Waiting Song,"
> Phil Alexander
>
> On the first ring of waiting for my emergency
> A burglar broke in and robbed me
>
> On the second ring of waiting for my emergency
> Two drug-crazed hippies
> And their dealer broke in and robbed me
>
> On the third ring of waiting for my emergency
> Three doped-up junkies
> Two big alsatians
> And a bent copper came and robbed me
>
> On the fourth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Four-nicating youngsters
> Three used-up condoms
> Two odd positions
> And some kind of a shoot for page 3
>
> On the fifth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Five more rings
> Four-ced entery
> Free-loading ****s
> Too annoyed for words
> And another bastard came to rob me
>
> On the sixth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Six nasty stab-wounds
> Five bleeding holes
> Four stitches needed
> Three tetanus jabs
> Two pints of blood
> In a transfusion needed for me
>
> On the seventh ring of waiting for my emergency
> Seven drinks for comfort
> Six wounds a-bleeding
> Five bloody towels
> Four-bearance needed
> Three-zing my balls off
> To-urniquet tightened
> And a virtual lobotomy
>
> On the eighth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Eight guys arrested
> Seven wounds a-bleeding
> Six months remanded
> Five years to serve
> Four failed appeals
> Three years' remission
> Too well-behaved
> And they're out, now they're out to get me
>
> On the ninth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Nine nine nine dialed [or 9-1-1 if you prefer]
> Eight wounds a-bleeding
> Seven fingers missing
> Six on the floor
> Five fingerprints
> Four-ensic science
> Three suspects
> Two or less arrests
> And some cop film that's on the TV
>
> On the tenth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Ten pints of lager
> Nine wounds a-bleeding
> Eight odd intruders
> Seven swingers swinging
> Six geezers laying
> Five dangly "things"
> Four fingers used
> Three-some with Rover
> Two running cameras
> And a DVD copy for me
>
> On the eleventh ring of waiting for my emergency
> Eleven double-brandies
> Ten wounds a-bleeding
> Nine bottles, broken
> Eight glasses splattered
> Seven saucers smashing
> Sick's heaved all over
> Five minutes' peace
> Four what it's worth
> Three hours for clean-up
> Two bins full
> And a phone that still rings endlessly
>
> On the twelfth ring of waiting for my emergency
> Twelve large tequilas
> Eleven wounds a-bleeding
> Ten pimps a-pimping
> Nine dealers dealing
> Eight kilos smuggling
> Seven mill for laundering
> Six gangstas shooting
> Five hours on hold
> Four-gotten why
> Free-zer full of dope
> Too pissed to think
> And then the police at last answered me...
>
LOL!
Brrrinng . . . brrrinng . . . [click] . . . "You have reached the Beaumont
County Emergency Services Department. If you have a Fire emergency, press
'1' now. If you have a Police emergency, press '2' now. If you have a
Medical emergency press '3' now. If you are not sure of the nature of your
emergency, stay on the line and an emergency dispatcher will be with you, .
.. . eventually . . . . . . . . . [click] 'Raindrops keep 'fallin' on my
head, . . .'"
[3] . . . "You have reached the Beaumont County Emergency Medical Services
Department. If you are conscious and breathing, press [1] now . . . "
;o) Rich
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