Emergency services - medic commits suicide, part 2

Author

medic commits suicide, part 2

Mark Miller

2005-04-19, 10:59 pm

well today we buried my good friend dave ulrich, the ceremony was beautiful with about 200 firefighters and paramedics
attending, st ritas hospital lifeflight helicopter came in and hovered and then did a fly by as if to be taking him to heaven, we
also released doves which promptly flew to the nearest tree and sat there watching the ceremony, when the service was nearly over he
was signed off with his unit number via radio, neadless to say everyone was in tears, i wanted to know if any of you out there have
had to deal with this type of death(suicide)? and what are the statistics? this is the second partner i have lost to suicide and
this time i am not dealing with it well at all, if you have lost such a close member of your team, how did you deal with it, iam at
the point now where i am not sure if i want to continue my career as a paramedic even after 18 years let me know thank you my email
address is mmiller2422@woh.rr.com thanks again mark miller

Dave S

2005-04-20, 11:51 am

If you feel you would benefit, counseling would be in order... Not just
for you, but for any peers who were close, or had to respond to his "event".

If there is a CISD team in your area, that would be a good starting
point. If not, then some of the larger metropolitan agencies probably
have professional couselors either in the ranks or on contract.

I have not had to face the suicide of a close colleague, so I will not
even try to relate to your circumstance.. but I would encourage you to
seek counseling.. from qualified peers (not necessarily in your own
agency... thats your decision) or qualified counselors.

Dave, EMT-P, RN

Mark Miller wrote:
> well today we buried my good friend dave ulrich, the ceremony was
> beautiful with about 200 firefighters and paramedics attending, st ritas
> hospital lifeflight helicopter came in and hovered and then did a fly by
> as if to be taking him to heaven, we also released doves which promptly
> flew to the nearest tree and sat there watching the ceremony, when the
> service was nearly over he was signed off with his unit number via
> radio, neadless to say everyone was in tears, i wanted to know if any of
> you out there have had to deal with this type of death(suicide)? and
> what are the statistics? this is the second partner i have lost to
> suicide and this time i am not dealing with it well at all, if you have
> lost such a close member of your team, how did you deal with it, iam at
> the point now where i am not sure if i want to continue my career as a
> paramedic even after 18 years let me know thank you my email address is
> mmiller2422@woh.rr.com thanks again mark miller

Kurt Ullman

2005-04-20, 11:51 am

In article <l9v9e.11244$lP1.6306@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net>,
Dave S <DoggtyredRN@earthlink.net> wrote:

>I have not had to face the suicide of a close colleague, so I will not
>even try to relate to your circumstance.. but I would encourage you to
>seek counseling.. from qualified peers (not necessarily in your own
>agency... thats your decision) or qualified counselors.
>
And remember this may not be time limited. I relieved another
medic who went home and promptly called us on a SIDS death of his
son. Asked me to baptise the kid on the way in. Every couple of
years I still need to talk to someone about that one...

--
Army Liason to the Office of Naval Contemplation

Mark Miller

2005-04-20, 5:56 pm

dave

thenk you for the advice, we had a priest come in the first day and i thought i was doing fine, but after the eremeony yesterday
and in to the night last night i lost it, i took sleeping pill to sleep last night nad actually slept quite well, before that i had
been awake since friday when i got up to go to work, with moments of sleep here and there, i think as time goes on i will do better,
at this point i am worried about my career and how i am going to handle going back to work on friday, he was one of my best friends
and i just cant belive i missed the signs that are so prominant now(ie visiting all of us when he wasnt on shift). i dont know if
you read my first post but this is my second partner that i have lost to suicide ( id like to hope it is not my driving< just
kidding ) the last one had just retired and was 60y/o and he found out that he had 1st stages of alziemers so i didnt take that one
as bad as this one because dave was 24 and had his whole life ahead of him, well thanks for the advice, where are you from and
please feel free to stay in contact, i am from a little town called wapakoneta ohio (birth of neil armstrong first man on the moon)
but work in lima ohio which is midway between toledo oh and dayton ohio on interstate 75 thanks again mark miller
"Dave S" <DoggtyredRN@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:l9v9e.11244$lP1.6306@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> If you feel you would benefit, counseling would be in order... Not just for you, but for any peers who were close, or had to
> respond to his "event".
>
> If there is a CISD team in your area, that would be a good starting point. If not, then some of the larger metropolitan agencies
> probably have professional couselors either in the ranks or on contract.
>
> I have not had to face the suicide of a close colleague, so I will not even try to relate to your circumstance.. but I would
> encourage you to seek counseling.. from qualified peers (not necessarily in your own agency... thats your decision) or qualified
> counselors.
>
> Dave, EMT-P, RN
>
> Mark Miller wrote:
>

Reasonable Rascal

2005-04-20, 10:52 pm

While I have never had to deal with a partner's suicide I have lost two
partners over the years. The first one was the service Director, lost in
a MVA while on duty. It fell to me to make the determination at the
scene to call him non-resuscible. That one haunted me for years. This
was before CISD was widely available, when Dr. Mitchell was just
starting to spread the word, but a compassionate mental health counselor
organized an impromtu session that was of definite benefit even though
it was after the funeral.

The other was my partner of 18 years. Both in the field and matrimony.
Sadly we were gone our seperate ways when she died but the irony of her
death - cardiac arrest at age 44 - stays with me to this day. She and
another medic actually pulled off a full save of a patient in asystole,
a professor of anatomy at a medical school no less. The odds of that are
what, 0.01% statistically? He recovered and resumed his teaching later.
She never regained a pulse.

I have found solace in faith and the public outpourings that followed
both cases. Just seeing that the public mourned the loss of one of their
guardians meant a great deal. There is no magic remedy. You have to
accept that time alone will heal. And dare I say it in this day and age
- God, too, heals.

Mike aka Reasonable Rascal

Mark Miller wrote:
> well today we buried my good friend dave ulrich, the ceremony was
> beautiful with about 200 firefighters and paramedics attending, st ritas
> hospital lifeflight helicopter came in and hovered and then did a fly by
> as if to be taking him to heaven, we also released doves which promptly
> flew to the nearest tree and sat there watching the ceremony, when the
> service was nearly over he was signed off with his unit number via
> radio, neadless to say everyone was in tears, i wanted to know if any of
> you out there have had to deal with this type of death(suicide)? and
> what are the statistics? this is the second partner i have lost to
> suicide and this time i am not dealing with it well at all, if you have
> lost such a close member of your team, how did you deal with it, iam at
> the point now where i am not sure if i want to continue my career as a
> paramedic even after 18 years let me know thank you my email address is
> mmiller2422@woh.rr.com thanks again mark miller

Bernhard Nowotny

2005-04-21, 8:54 am

Mark Miller wrote:
> thenk you for the advice, we had a priest come in the first day and i
> thought i was doing fine, but after the eremeony yesterday and in to the
> night last night i lost it, i took sleeping pill to sleep last night nad
> actually slept quite well, before that i had been awake since friday
> when i got up to go to work, with moments of sleep here and there, i
> think as time goes on i will do better, at this point i am worried about

It is normal to have such problems the first few weeks. After that it
may flash back in appropriate seconds every few weeks or months, for
years, that's also OK & normal.

But it should not influence you more than a few weeks. This would be a
sure sign of a CISD (critical incident stress disorder). If it heavily
distracts you from work and living more than four weeks - seek
professional counceling (CISD-Team, psychologist/psychiatrist)!

Please consider that it is not necessarily that one incident which alone
causes CISD. Over the years in the job you collect here and there some
drops, and one time the barrel is full. This may be a case which looks
pure innocent or it may be a big one like here. Even out-of-the-job
problems get in the same barrel.

Do not hesitate to seek counceling after 4 weeks!

You may have a look on your colleagues. How do they cope with that
situation? Maybe their barrel is short before running over, also?

> my career and how i am going to handle going back to work on friday, he
> was one of my best friends and i just cant belive i missed the signs
> that are so prominant now(ie visiting all of us when he wasnt on shift).

Think about it and remember to look after each other in the whole
station for the future. But don't blame anything on yourself.

However, it's a pure normal reaction.

About going back to work: mostly it's a good idea to start early
again. But you should have the possibility to call a backup if
you can't stand it. A week of relief may be not long enough. A
good supervisor should know this and have some helping hands
ready. Some days off immedeately after the incident are a good
idea, but depends on the situation and personality. Mostly you can't
say what's right if you don't try it for yourself.

> i dont know if you read my first post but this is my second partner that
> i have lost to suicide ( id like to hope it is not my driving< just
> kidding ) the last one had just retired and was 60y/o and he found out

Well - stress is additional.

Be sure: everyone in this job will have such problems one time or
another. Yours are of special tragic, but don't let them distract
_yourself_ from life! Or from fullstops and commas, by the way...

Best wishes!

--
Bernhard Nowotny Master of Systems Engineering
85625 Glonn, Germany (PGP ID: 0x17B6F58C DSS/DH)
"Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems."
-- Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper (documented first real computer bug)

Bernhard Nowotny

2005-04-27, 5:58 pm