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Author How George Stole Christmas
Alan

2005-12-18, 11:00 am

http://www.bedoper.com/bushgrinch

MP3 - Listen to the whole thing for the vocals. By High-C & DJ Manticore
(Meter Versus Yard)

(Sample: Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley)

It was the night before Christmas

And the Office of Homeland Security

Had been alerted to a potential security threat

Not a creature was stirring

Martial law was in effect

Terrorists were flying in from the north

Intercepted e-mails revealed the plan

Disrupt the holiday season

With false gestures of brotherly love

This children were chillin'

All snug in their beds

But nightmares of technocracy

Still filled their heads

The libraries were staked out

By G-Men with care

In the hopes that the operative,

St. Nicklaus, would slip up

Phone lines were tapped

Witnesses intimidated

Evidence was manufactured

Just in case

Miranda was flushed

And the ban on torture rescinded

Dissenters were hushed

The propaganda was splendid

The media reports were firm

An attack was imminent

CNN made it clear

In case you had forgotten

The U.S. had always been at war with the North Pole

Hordes of sympathizers

In matching red uniforms

Were held in detainment camps

Indefinitely

The sightings began at the hour of twelve

A bearded fanatic

Accompanied by elves

The nation held captive

By a small band of thugs

Those brightly wrapped gifts?

Surely weapons or drugs

Fighters were scrambled

And radar locks sought

But the elusive red menace

Would not be caught

(Break)

The leaders looked foolish

Impotent, outmatched

The missiles had failed

So a new plan was hatched

A drone sleigh was destroyed

Over a snow-covered field

And when the debris site was cordoned off

The "victory" revealed

The shills sounded trumpets

And the sheep blandly bleated

The country was safe

This "Santa" defeated

But the gifts were delivered

Though all houses locked

The president's stocking

Held nothing but rocks

The true Kringle sped off

Back to his wife

"Merry Christmas to some

And to most, a good night"

--
I'm just a goddamned piece of paper.

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Lord Cerne Abbas

Humpty Dumpty Bush fell off the Iraq wall.
Humpty Dumpty Bush had a big fall.
All his spin doctors and all the President's men
couldn't put Humpty Dumpty Bush together again.

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