| GT Tick 2005-07-28, 8:56 am |
| I have a few engineering problems I've been working on and since my time
is limited lately I could use a little help. Maybe if I could get our
resident trolls to commit to finding solutions to these problems it
would keep them busy and out of the hair of ASMS collectively.
I know our Nobel/Pullet Surprise winner could use a challenge and maybe
our politcally obsessed madman could cowrite an abstract (he might even
get the genius xxx xxxx at Home Depot to help).
Here's the first relatively simple task...calculate Pi into binary.
BE FOREWARNED...It is conjectured that this number is normal, meaning
that it contains ALL finite bit strings. If you compute it, you will be
guilty of:
Copyright infringement of all books, all short stories, all newspapers,
all magazines, all web sites, all music, all movies, and all software,
including the complete Windows source code.
Trademark infringement
Possession of pornography
Espionage (unauthorized possession of top secret information)
Possession of DVD-cracking software
Possession of threats to the President
Possession of everyone's SSN, credit card numbers, PIN numbers, unlisted
phone numbers, and everyone's passwords...
Also, your computer will contain all of the nastiest known computer
viruses. In fact, all POSSIBLE computer viruses.
There's no telling how far into Pi you can go without finding the secret
documents about the JFK assassination, a photograph of your neighbor
[performing an unmentionable act], or a complete digital copy of all
future not-yet-released Hollywood smash hits.
When one of you guys has successfully completed this you will be
carrying a tremendous amount of knowledge and it would be best protected
by turning it over to me immediately. The responsibility is much too
much for you.
The same warning applies to e, the square root of 2, Euler's constant,
Phi, the cosine of any non-zero algebraic number, and the vast majority
of all other real numbers.
Please don't bother ASMS until you have completed these simple tasks.
Check with me as soon as you're finished.
Tick
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