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Home > Archive > Multiple sclerosis support > April 2005 > OT- WHAT IS LOVE?
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| Richard Long 2005-04-23, 11:49 am |
| How about some warm and fuzzies??
A group of professional people posed this question
to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love
mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than
anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't
bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name
is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their
mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts
on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each
other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody
most of your French fries without making them give
you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and
she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make
sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you
get tired of kissing, you still want to be together
and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross
when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if
you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should
start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,
then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old
man who are still friends even after they know each
other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was
scared. I looked at all the people watching me and
saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody .
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at
night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and
still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after
you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives
me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new
ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and
down and little stars come out of you." (what an
image)
Karen - age 7
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you
mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a
lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she
doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
| |
|
| I think its people who stick with you despite MS.
--
Quaecomque sunt vera ----
"Richard Long" <richardlong@telus.net> wrote in message
news:_Puae.749$tg1.101@edtnps84...
> How about some warm and fuzzies??
>
>
> A group of professional people posed this question
> to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love
> mean?"
>
> The answers they got were broader and deeper than
> anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
>
>
>
> "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't
> bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
>
> So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
> when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
>
> Rebecca- age 8
>
>
>
> "When someone loves you, the way they say your name
> is different.
>
> You just know that your name is safe in their
> mouth."
>
> Billy - age 4
>
>
>
> "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts
> on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each
> other."
>
> Karl - age 5
>
>
>
> "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody
> most of your French fries without making them give
> you any of theirs."
>
> Chrissy - age 6
>
>
>
> "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
>
> Terri - age 4
>
>
>
> "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and
> she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make
> sure the taste is OK."
>
> Danny - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you
> get tired of kissing, you still want to be together
> and you talk more.
> My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross
> when they kiss"
>
> Emily - age 8
>
>
>
> "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if
> you stop opening presents and listen."
>
> Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
>
>
>
> "If you want to learn to love better, you should
> start with a friend who you hate,"
>
> Nikka - age 6
> (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
>
>
>
> "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,
> then he wears it everyday."
>
> Noelle - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is like a little old woman and a little old
> man who are still friends even after they know each
> other so well."
>
> Tommy - age 6
>
>
>
> "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was
> scared. I looked at all the people watching me and
> saw my daddy waving and smiling.
>
> He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
> anymore."
>
> Cindy - age 8
>
>
>
> "My mommy loves me more than anybody .
>
> You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at
> night."
>
> Clare - age 6
>
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
> chicken."
>
> Elaine-age 5
>
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and
> still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
>
> Chris - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after
> you left him alone all day."
>
> Mary Ann - age 4
>
>
>
> "I know my older sister loves me because she gives
> me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new
> ones."
>
> Lauren - age 4
>
>
>
> "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and
> down and little stars come out of you." (what an
> image)
>
> Karen - age 7
>
> "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you
> mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a
> lot. People forget."
>
> Jessica - age 8
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she
> doesn't think it's gross."
>
> Mark - age 6
>
>
>
>
>
>
| |
|
| Love is loving yourself despite all your faults
Love is learning to love your MS
Love is accepting yourself for what life has thrown your way
Love is forgiving others who don't understand
Love is keeping our aches and pains to ourselves
Love is not complaining to our spouse or loved one we are having a bad day
Love is life, life is love
Joyce
| |
| retired99 2005-04-23, 5:50 pm |
| I just do NOT understand how anyone could learn to love one's MS......
This does NOT seem rational, desirable or possible.
Also letting one's spouse or caregiver be aware of your aches and pains in
an honest manner (Not complaining manner) is also a good thing in my
opinion. (I was a spousal caregiver for my late wife for over 20 years and
she never complained but would answer honestly if I asked her about pain.)
Just offering my opinion.....
"Joyce" <j.chilson@comcast.net> wrote in
news:0qidnWrcLuWEX_ffRVn-3w@comcast.com:
> Love is loving yourself despite all your faults
> Love is learning to love your MS
> Love is accepting yourself for what life has thrown your way
> Love is forgiving others who don't understand
> Love is keeping our aches and pains to ourselves
> Love is not complaining to our spouse or loved one we are having a bad
> day Love is life, life is love
>
> Joyce
| |
| QQQte@webtv.net 2005-04-23, 10:49 pm |
| love to me is a happy feeling and i feel happy a lot because i think
about my loved ones often...... and count the smallest blessing.....
it's a miracle for me with few words to explain it other than happy.....
and my heart and spirit are full of the wonder of it..... ms does not
define me it is a separate entity which has no place in my reply...
don't let me forget that i also feel very loved...... dory
........" There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in
the best of us that its rather hard to discern which of us ought to
reform the rest of us"...........
.........Alain Fournier.........
| |
|
| to retired....I say love ones's MS because it is part of me, I cannot change
it or make it go away, so I may as well love it along with everything else,
MS is only one of the many things I have wrong with me. I guess we all put a
different view on life. I see no point in letting the whole world know how
misserable I often feel, I put my best face on it and a smile and thats my
feeling of love. why go around complaining when people in general hate
complainers.
Joyce
| |
|
| retired99 wrote:
> I just do NOT understand how anyone could learn to love one's
MS......
> This does NOT seem rational, desirable or possible.
i tried to do something similar for a while. i've always
anthropomorphized (sp?) M.S., for a long time after my diagnosis, i
personified it as a hated enemy. i fought it, i battled it, i tried to
beat it, etc. one day the thought came to me that M.S. was messing me
up, but it wasn't doing so maliciously -- it thought it was doing its
job when it munched my myelin. maybe it was more like a dysfunctional
but well-meaning kid, than an evil intruder. i guess i still see it
like that, but i was never able to get to anything like love. it's more
like a dysfunctional kid that poisons your dog and sets your house on
fire. :{ i understand that it's part of me and i can't separate
myself from it, and i dont' hate myself for HAVING it, but i do hate
M.S. I hate that i have it, i hate that other people have it, i would
love to see it become one of those diseases people USED to get. what's
that saying, 'hate the sin, love the sinner' -- love the person, hate
the disease. i definitely know all the people who love me really hate
the disease.
> Also letting one's spouse or caregiver be aware of your aches and
pains in
> an honest manner (Not complaining manner) is also a good thing in my
> opinion. (I was a spousal caregiver for my late wife for over 20
years and
> she never complained but would answer honestly if I asked her about
pain.)
i think maybe it depends on what kind of pain. dennis is the ultimate
mr. fix-it, he's not at all used to coming up against things he can't
repair or problems he can't solve. he probably hates feeling helpless
more than anything else. he's always known he can't cure M.S., but he
needs to feel like he's doing something to help me deal with it or he's
very hard on himself. because i know this, i've done things like, when
i was injecting copaxone, i was completely capable of injecting myself
every time, but i'd have him to the more difficlt-to-reach injection
spots, and it gave him a lift to feel that he was helping. if i've done
more than i'm used to and i'm achy, he'll give me a massage and i feel
better, etc. -- those are all win-win situations. but there are certain
things that there's nothing, zero, zip, nada, that he can do to make it
better for me. when i'm in pain and he can't help, in some ways it
hurts HIM as much if not more as it does me. so when I KNOW there's
nothing he can do, but also that it would make him crazy to feel like
he was standing by doing nothing, i'm not 100% honest about it even if
he explicitly asks.
he's pretty tuned in, so sometimes he'll look worried and ask if i'm
having a bad day. i just say something like 'ehh -- my butt's really
dragging today, i'm going to be lazy and just kick back today.' it
works well for us -- because i've stated my intention to take it easy,
he doesn't have to worry that i'll overdo things. but putting it in
terms healthy folks might use seems to have a psychological benefit of
some kind. i'm having a tired day, i'm having a slow day, it's no big
deal.
the more i think about the way M.S. has affected the people i love, the
MORE I hate it. if i could anthropomorph M.S. into visible appearance,
i would slaughter it without hesitation. i can't do that, so i have to
learn to live with it. what we strive for now is to remain a family
with a member who has M.S., as opposed to becoming an invalid
surrounded by a bunch of worried people. physically,my disabilitiy has
progressed a lot over the last five years, but so far so good. now
we're a family with a member who has SPMS and significant gait
problems, but we're still a family held together by love rather than
mere duty. if i hope and pray and do my part, i believe it can stay
that way in spite of disease progression. knock wood! ;->
rose
| |
|
| Rose..I agree in part with what you say, but I think I have such a good
attitude that I don't hate MS, why hate it when I cannot change it, that is
just my way of thinking. I love life, and life can be the pits if I let it
or wanted to dwell on everything that hurts and everything that doesn't work
anymore, or when I can't open the dogs pet food can or when I can't get the
top back on Tupperware, or when I can't pick up a simple paperclip or turn
the page on a magazine, when I get so frustrated I could cry. but I honestly
don't say I hate MS, hey, maybe I should !! I just never thought about it.
their is a very special person here on this group who knows me well and can
tell you what I say is very true. I just cannot divulge a name.
Joyce
| |
|
| Joyce wrote:
> their is a very special person here on this group who knows me well
and can
> tell you what I say is very true. I just cannot divulge a name.
hi joyce,
oh, i never doubted that what you say is true, it's just not an
attitude i've ever been able to make work for me.
i don't think there's any one right way to approach M.S. or the
problems it causes for us and our families -- I DO think there are ways
that work well for each of us, that fit with our own personality,
strengths, and overall attitudes. in general, i think i've found many
ways to deal with it -- sometimes it's easier to live with than other
times.
i don't think i'll ever think, feel, or say that i love M.S., but i've
found (and am still finding) ways to make peace with HAVING it.
best,
rose
| |
| Joyce 2005-04-25, 11:49 am |
| Rose...you said it best...Joyce
| |
|
| I think its people who stick with you despite MS.
--
Quaecomque sunt vera ----
"Richard Long" <richardlong@telus.net> wrote in message
news:_Puae.749$tg1.101@edtnps84...
> How about some warm and fuzzies??
>
>
> A group of professional people posed this question
> to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love
> mean?"
>
> The answers they got were broader and deeper than
> anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
>
>
>
> "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't
> bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
>
> So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
> when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
>
> Rebecca- age 8
>
>
>
> "When someone loves you, the way they say your name
> is different.
>
> You just know that your name is safe in their
> mouth."
>
> Billy - age 4
>
>
>
> "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts
> on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each
> other."
>
> Karl - age 5
>
>
>
> "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody
> most of your French fries without making them give
> you any of theirs."
>
> Chrissy - age 6
>
>
>
> "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
>
> Terri - age 4
>
>
>
> "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and
> she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make
> sure the taste is OK."
>
> Danny - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you
> get tired of kissing, you still want to be together
> and you talk more.
> My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross
> when they kiss"
>
> Emily - age 8
>
>
>
> "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if
> you stop opening presents and listen."
>
> Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
>
>
>
> "If you want to learn to love better, you should
> start with a friend who you hate,"
>
> Nikka - age 6
> (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
>
>
>
> "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,
> then he wears it everyday."
>
> Noelle - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is like a little old woman and a little old
> man who are still friends even after they know each
> other so well."
>
> Tommy - age 6
>
>
>
> "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was
> scared. I looked at all the people watching me and
> saw my daddy waving and smiling.
>
> He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
> anymore."
>
> Cindy - age 8
>
>
>
> "My mommy loves me more than anybody .
>
> You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at
> night."
>
> Clare - age 6
>
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
> chicken."
>
> Elaine-age 5
>
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and
> still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
>
> Chris - age 7
>
>
>
> "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after
> you left him alone all day."
>
> Mary Ann - age 4
>
>
>
> "I know my older sister loves me because she gives
> me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new
> ones."
>
> Lauren - age 4
>
>
>
> "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and
> down and little stars come out of you." (what an
> image)
>
> Karen - age 7
>
> "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you
> mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a
> lot. People forget."
>
> Jessica - age 8
>
>
> "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she
> doesn't think it's gross."
>
> Mark - age 6
>
>
>
>
>
>
| |
| Rob Duncan 2005-04-27, 8:52 am |
|
"Joyce" <j.chilson@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:TLWdnR3ni-Wyh_bfRVn-jQ@comcast.com...
> to retired....I say love ones's MS because it is part of me, I cannot
> change it or make it go away, so I may as well love it along with
> everything else, MS is only one of the many things I have wrong with me. I
> guess we all put a different view on life. I see no point in letting the
> whole world know how misserable I often feel, I put my best face on it and
> a smile and thats my feeling of love. why go around complaining when
> people in general hate complainers.
>
> Joyce
They dont Joyce. But thats an interesting opinion you hold. I wonder why
you have it.
People who dont express their feelings die nearly twice as soon as those who
dont. Feel free to look that up on the net. I would guess its abstract is
now on pubmed. A recently done study. I dont recall much more than that
about the study, but I do recall it because I still wonder what on earth
they meant by "twice as soon." www.pubmed.com
Rob
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