Multiple sclerosis support - AMWW#103: HATS OFF FOR REEVE

Author

AMWW#103: HATS OFF FOR REEVE

AbeMunder

2004-10-27, 2:08 am

AMWW#103: HATS OFF FOR REEVE
by Abe Munder, the Wheeled Wonder
(AbeMunder@aol.com)

It's just as it ought to be now that Christopher Reeve is gone, everyone
expressing admiration. No doubt you are, too. I sure do. When a great man
falls, we take off our hats not only in sadness but in awe. We can definitely
take our hats off for Christopher Reeve.

He did it right. He did it so right that everyone was freaked out by the news
he died. It's quite an achievement to project such a strong public image when
in his condition.

Nothing I'm saying is controversial. Still, some may be shocked to hear that
Reeve came in for a fair amount of criticism while alive. It came from a
quarter you would least expect, the disabled. After his spinal injury in a
fall from horseback, Reeve declared he would move heaven and earth to walk
again. He really tried, too, and that irked some to no end.

The criticisms were fairly frequent. Chris is in denial. He misplaces his
efforts--his activism ought to go toward accommodating disabilities and not
eliminating them. He is the richest quadriplegic in the world, aloof from the
rest, and squandering those precious resources on a pipe dream. Damning stuff,
although there's nothing wrong with a good debate. By and large these critics
were earnest, decent folks with their hearts in the right place; you can tell
so because they've snapped into line since the death and let bygones be
bygones, allowing that the argument was a squabble between brothers, airing the
family dirty-laundry.

Now, it's water under the bridge. But while it was going on, while it was
hurtful, Reeve plugged ahead--or perhaps he was insulated from the criticism,
though I doubt it--and that's the way to do something you believe in. Eleanor
Roosevelt said there are no failures, only bumps in the road; and I could cite
a slew of motivational quotes here, but the point is that you just do it.
"Don't give up" is a powerful creed, and it doesn't get any more complicated
than that. In a way, if you never admit defeat, you are never defeated. Would
you call Christopher Reeve a failure because he said he would walk again but
never did? No, of course not. Look what he achieved, look what he meant to so
many people and families who looked up to him, whom he instilled with hope.
That's a huge legacy, immeasurable yet undeniably real.

When it happened nine years ago, one of my friends lost her mind for a moment
and told me "Now he wishes they didn't save him." I told her I knew she was
wrong.

Of course what happened to him blew. Any young man who goes through such
instant, traumatic change will feel angry and disappointed. The bottom line is
not to slip into cynicism. Cynicism feels fun and naughty and so
sophisticated, like your first teenage cigarettes. But when you indulge too
often and make it a habit, you find that it's got you and it's eating your
insides, and you cannot stop.

You see, after a terrible accident like his, people everywhere around you think
like her. Out of pity and goodwill, they defer to you. It is so easy to take
advantage of that, and take it to heart. You have license to be as cynical and
sorry as you please. No one will rein you in or fault you, because "Sigh, poor
guy." A few might recoil at your bitterness, but not usually. Know why? No
expectations. There are none for you anymore. You have free rein. You are no
longer expected to do anything. If you drink a case of beer and watch videos
every day, people are good with that. They expect it; they want that for you,
comfort and safety.

It's easy to be cynical. It's easy to disappear in your cocoon, to hide and
not exert yourself. Therefore, the notion to do any differently has to come
from inside you, and you alone, because nobody else in this entire world will
tell you to do it. It's all your own drive, on your own time.

Reeve was special in so many ways. When you and I walk in a room, people don't
respond with adulation, they don't speak to us like with a holy man. We don't
get that treatment, and we don't want it. But like every other columnist has
been saying, he's given us a lot we can use in our everyday lives. Thank you,
brother.

Abe Munder, the Wheeled Wonder - "Making the world safe for Disability"
http://members.aol.com/abemunder/index.htm

Kelly

2004-10-29, 7:15 pm

I think he would have been very proud of the Red Sox :-) Great article, Abe!

Kelly

abemunder@aol.com (AbeMunder) wrote in message news:<20041020235054.08597.00000365@mb-m22.aol.com>...
> AMWW#103: HATS OFF FOR REEVE
> by Abe Munder, the Wheeled Wonder
> (AbeMunder@aol.com)