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Home > Archive > Migraine support > April 2005 > OT Humour?: Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies
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OT Humour?: Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies
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| This arrived in my mailbox. I think it is meant to be humour but there
is more truth in jest . . .
Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies
1. Cures: We need drug companies to keep finding
cures for major diseases. Look at all the cures
they've found so far like... well... okay, they
haven't actually found any cures yet. But maybe they
can at least cure all the bogus diseases they made up
like "social anxiety disorder" and "attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder."
2. National Security: U.S. drug companies are
crucial for protecting our national security by
banning prescription drugs from untrusty drug
countries like Canada.
3. The Economy: never mind that most
pharmaceutical companies sell useless products at
ridiculous prices. All that money changing hands is
great for the economy. You may be diseased, but think
on the bright side: your Big Pharma stocks are
soaring! (With all that money, you might even be able
to afford health insurance...)
4. Doctors: Without the pharmaceutical companies,
what would all the doctors do for work? After all,
most so-called "medicine" involves little more than
scribbling out a prescription for the latest
mass-advertised drug. Without drugs, doctors might
actually have to TALK to patients. Horrors!
5. Ethics: With Enron gone, we need a new,
national example of strong ethics that properly
communicate the essence of American corporate greed.
Pharmaceutical companies could make Enron look like
the Girl Scouts.
6. Political Fundraising: We need drug companies
to support the re-election efforts of national
leaders.
7. Publishers: Without drug company advertising,
who would support all the newspaper and magazine
publishers in this country? After all, many print
publications are now little more than pro-drug
infomercial rags dressed up to look like credible news
magazines.
8. Patient Responsibility: Without drug companies
shifting health responsibility away from patients, the
people would actually have to think for themselves and
take control of their own health. That's simply too
much to ask from a dumbed-down population.
9. The Environment: Drug companies set an
excellent example of fair and balanced environmental
policy, which is why antidepressant drugs are now
showing up in the water supply. Their new
environmental slogan? "You take it, you flush it, we
fuggedaboutit!"
10. The Elderly: Everybody agrees we need honest
U.S. businesses to look out for the interests of our
elders. Pharmaceutical companies handle this with
finesse by taking over the full monthly incomes of
most retired folks. It's a genuine public service.
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| friendlytxtech 2005-04-25, 10:50 pm |
| Oh, how classic. Thanks for sharing what I fear is really truth ;-)
Michelle
"'did" <kadee@inorbit.com> wrote in message
news:e49r61d7gomh9c4shus98a41407p8ur9nk@4ax.com...
> This arrived in my mailbox. I think it is meant to be humour but there
> is more truth in jest . . .
>
> Top 10 reasons why we need drug companies
>
> 1. Cures: We need drug companies to keep finding
> cures for major diseases. Look at all the cures
> they've found so far like... well... okay, they
> haven't actually found any cures yet. But maybe they
> can at least cure all the bogus diseases they made up
> like "social anxiety disorder" and "attention deficit
> hyperactivity disorder."
>
> 2. National Security: U.S. drug companies are
> crucial for protecting our national security by
> banning prescription drugs from untrusty drug
> countries like Canada.
>
> 3. The Economy: never mind that most
> pharmaceutical companies sell useless products at
> ridiculous prices. All that money changing hands is
> great for the economy. You may be diseased, but think
> on the bright side: your Big Pharma stocks are
> soaring! (With all that money, you might even be able
> to afford health insurance...)
>
> 4. Doctors: Without the pharmaceutical companies,
> what would all the doctors do for work? After all,
> most so-called "medicine" involves little more than
> scribbling out a prescription for the latest
> mass-advertised drug. Without drugs, doctors might
> actually have to TALK to patients. Horrors!
>
> 5. Ethics: With Enron gone, we need a new,
> national example of strong ethics that properly
> communicate the essence of American corporate greed.
> Pharmaceutical companies could make Enron look like
> the Girl Scouts.
>
> 6. Political Fundraising: We need drug companies
> to support the re-election efforts of national
> leaders.
>
> 7. Publishers: Without drug company advertising,
> who would support all the newspaper and magazine
> publishers in this country? After all, many print
> publications are now little more than pro-drug
> infomercial rags dressed up to look like credible news
> magazines.
>
> 8. Patient Responsibility: Without drug companies
> shifting health responsibility away from patients, the
> people would actually have to think for themselves and
> take control of their own health. That's simply too
> much to ask from a dumbed-down population.
>
> 9. The Environment: Drug companies set an
> excellent example of fair and balanced environmental
> policy, which is why antidepressant drugs are now
> showing up in the water supply. Their new
> environmental slogan? "You take it, you flush it, we
> fuggedaboutit!"
>
> 10. The Elderly: Everybody agrees we need honest
> U.S. businesses to look out for the interests of our
> elders. Pharmaceutical companies handle this with
> finesse by taking over the full monthly incomes of
> most retired folks. It's a genuine public service.
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