| the black rose 2004-10-26, 7:26 pm |
| The Al Gebra Connection.
News Release: Teacher Arrested!
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John
Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math
instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute value.
They use secret code names like 'x'and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
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Only cowards fight kids -- unidentified Moscow protester
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