Attention deficit support - Raving along ...

Author

Raving along ...

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Under the insistance of my family physician, I screwed up my courage
and went off to see a ' new ' psychiatrist. ... Not my idea. Simply,
doing what I am told to do.

;-)

... So, I arrive at the appointment a few minutes late. The *new*
shrink-a-dink doesn't even ask me if I want to take my coat off. I sit
and start talking. He writes furiously.

Eventually, he says how 'expert' my former shrink-a-dink "is". He
points out that I did well with the insurer. I said that I had a real
problem. I didn't know how he could help me. He agreed. I couldn't take
it any more and after 45 had to walk out of his office. I said 'bye'.
He said 'bye'. He did'nt ask me to stay.

I felt like such a hopeless looser. ... totally useless.

My family doctor told me to go back and make another apointment. The
*new* shrink had sent him a letter, which roughly restated what I had
explained happened. I needed to overcome this 'obstacle' in my life.
... seemed to make sense to me.

A week or two ago, under my G.P.s insistence, I screwed up my courage;
held my nosed and arranged for another appointment. The *new*
shrink-a-dink's secretary thought that I understood. ??? ....

.... The *new* shrink-a-dink couldn't help me.

Rejected again.

I hate shrink-a-dinks
I feel useless.
I have lost all faith in psychiatrists.

RL.

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Who prescribes your ADD meds,
Raving?

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> Who prescribes your ADD meds,
> Raving?

Family physician.

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

When I saw Cynthia Pfeffer, MD, in June 2004,
she told me I could come back and "work with her,"
as I expressed a desire to do.

When I saw her in September 2004,
she told me she was not going to be my psychiatrist,
but she was helping me in a way
I "did know about."

So for a year, I continued to report to her
facts about the situation that almost killed me.

But to this day, she refuses to return a phone call
to me, and I think that is wrong.

Because she is a "witness" to what happened to me,
the effects of it.

And I turned to her when I did have any one
else to trust, and because I was sick, I did not
know how to protect myself.

Virginia Hooper

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

So why not find a "talk therapist,"
someone you like.

As long as your GP is good enought
to prescribe and monitor.

I don't have a GP, and most refuse to prescribe
ADD meds, anyway, for adults.

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

I think it is wrong
that she will not communcate with me,'
now.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> Who prescribes your ADD meds,
> Raving?

I have a problem, Twittering One.

.. when it comes to the 'crunch', I choke.

It didn't use to be like that. I don't know what to do about it.

... It's crunch time. .. and I am choking and unable to move ahead.

I wish to assert myself but have lost all hope. It's ridiculous. It
seems like a pathetic trap. Burnout.

I used to be so optimistic. Now, it all feels futile. Yuk.

RL ( Desperately seeking a valid focus )

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

What was it Freud said?

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> I think it is wrong
> that she will not communcate with me,'
> now.

When I read your response in this cursory manner, it would sure seem
that we have the same problem / 'issue' ...

I would be delighted to leave the 'past' and my former shrink behind.
....
... Instead, I seem to get evermore caught and stifled by the past.

Although, I am not thinking; ... not reading or considering what you
are saying beyond the immediate; it feels that you are struggling with
exactly tthe same sort of thing.

Yuk.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> What was it Freud said?

I don't know what he did say. ... I know what he might have said.

I am a psychologist/psychiatrist because I, Sigmund have some heavy,
' personal ' issues.

Yuk.

( Dinner calls. ...I am lost. ... Shall return later. )

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

What's your real name,
Raving?

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Well, Raving,
I am pleased you have a dinner companion,
[& something besides Progresso Soup to eat]
for you are far better off
than I.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> When I saw Cynthia Pfeffer, MD, in June 2004,
> she told me I could come back and "work with her,"
> as I expressed a desire to do.
>
> When I saw her in September 2004,
> she told me she was not going to be my psychiatrist,
> but she was helping me in a way
> I "did know about."
>
> So for a year, I continued to report to her
> facts about the situation that almost killed me.
>
> But to this day, she refuses to return a phone call
> to me, and I think that is wrong.
>
> Because she is a "witness" to what happened to me,
> the effects of it.
An awkward situation, Twittering One!
... Awkwardness for other people; aside from yourself.

Other people are frustrated by their feelings of awkwardness. They are
unable to resolve being locked up in cross-purposes;
juxtaposed-interests; dialectic-whatever ...

If your situation was like mine; then you tried and failed .... tried
harder and failed ... tried harder still and yet still failed ... at
each step developing your own skill ...

... and having that personal ability, fail you.

Hard experience came to give you good reason to doubt yourself; your
own ability. ... which, of necessity, you continued to develope and
improve.

Until the present moment ...

Where next? No matter how good you are, it's useless
( Note: I am projecting myself onto you. )

===================

Inherently, I know that I am skilled; that I have learned a great deal;
that in some personal sense; I still have good reason to "trust" in
myself.

... this doesn't help me to overcome the 'sunk' feeling. ... As my
situation improves, I seem to choke ever-the-more-so. ... this angers
me. I want to ride over such nonsense.

>
> And I turned to her when I did have any one
> else to trust, and because I was sick, I did not
> know how to protect myself.
>
> Virginia Hooper

Oh?

... but you did survive. You may be on your last legs but; at least
until now, you have protected yourself. Magnificent, Virginia. There
is no doubt about that. ...

... Not that it's done you much good. .. Not, that it helps you go
beyond this immediate point.

Nevertheless and without doubt, regardless of the future. ...

.. You are a magnificent survivor.

Note: this does not mean that you will survive in the future.

Surviving hasn't gotten you anywhere, except to know for yourself that
you can survive if you "must".

The predicament is in NOT achieving whilst you are surviving.

Set your sights on 'achieving', Virginia. ... I don't know how or
what. .. It's a very personal issue. ... something that you must
discover & decide for yourself.

I PROMISE YOU, THUS: Success, is much easier than than the many
vigorous, inefficient and/or failed efforts that have been unfruitful.

Do not try harder. ... Rather, look around more broadly. Think less. Be
more impulsive about it.

Learn to be a B.I.T.C.H.

Babe In Total Control of H(?)

I need not tell you that you are very capable.
... and you have walked the path of surviving, brilliantly.

You need to set your own goals for accomplishment.

For God's sake; don't let yourself be dragged down into oblivion
because of other people's "Failure to Accomplish".

That is the yukkiest thing of all.

RL.

( Who am I? .. the person who I said that I am. ... Would you like me
to email you a scan of my driver's license and passport? )

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> Well, Raving,
> I am pleased you have a dinner companion,
> [& something besides Progresso Soup to eat]
> for you are far better off
> than I.

My mother-in-law died. My wife is coming to terms with being alone in
the world.

I feel most fortunate to still be married.

It distresses me to no end to see that I continue to 'choke'.

More than ever, I need to put the past behind me.

------------------------

Who are YOU, Virginia Hooper?

Without doubt, your lack of dinner companionship is your own
pleasure/whim.

Honestly, there can't be that many 'socialites' in NYC who could be
more pleasant and entertaining company than yourself, if you decided to
allow yourself to be that way.

I don't say that you should have a dinner companion ...
... or that you want a dinner companion.

( And I am of half a mind to muster my meager resources, ... travel
down to NYC and invite you out for a night on the town )

It's akin to ...
... will you allow yourself the pleasure of sharing your company with
someone?

Sincerely, that IS asking a lot. ...
... feeling good about yourself. Enjoying yourself. ..
Enjoying being alive.

XXXX the past, Virginia. Grow up by coming into your own. It's "time",
already.

Dine alone?

Pffaw!

Your prerogative.
I would be hard pressed to imagine, a more vivacious dinner
guest.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> What's your real name,
> Raving?
XXXX the past, Twittering One.

Don't allow yourself to flounder and capsize because of other people's
shortfalls and inabilities to accomplish.

Dump the past. ...
I am not saying that you should accept and carry the loss for the
ineptitude of others. ... It's too costly. You cannot afford to adsorb
that write-off!

I AM saying ...
Do NOT allow their failures, to destroy and erode your own sense of
self-worth.

... it's their problem, Virginia.

It is NOT your problem. ... It is NOT your failure.

Get it?

RL.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> Well, Raving,
> I am pleased you have a dinner companion,
> [& something besides Progresso Soup to eat]
> for you are far better off
> than I.
Go ahead and feel "sorry" for yourself, Twittering One.

.. that is O.K. ... maybe it cannot be helped. ... Depression can
afflict anyone.

If you allow yourself to be depressed because somebody else 'screwed
up' or failed to accomplish ...
... you are a stupid XXX and/or sick-in-the-head.

I KNOW that I am 'choking' because of the ineptitude of others.

... I know that BECAUSE I am 'choking' as a result of the ineptitude
of others THAT I am sick-in-the-head.

Whether or not I can overcome it, personally ... my own helplessness,
disgusts me.

I want to help myself.

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Raving,
for 2 XXXXING YEARS

NO ONE WILL SPEAK TO ME IN PERSON!

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

My last social engagment
was on 27 September 2004.

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> Raving,
> for 2 XXXXING YEARS
>
> NO ONE WILL SPEAK TO ME IN PERSON!

Oh.

... it seems that you have been caught out in the mysterious and
confusing " Twilight Zone" with your trousers down.

~^* An ADD Classic=99 *^~

... and nobody seems to realize OR recognize it. <sigh>

Huh?

( ... to be elaborated upon )

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

"Or you'll end up in Doggie Danger Zone...
That's Channel Z,

Seller of ~ 'Le Graphique
De Deade Dog Doggone,
Bone Not.'"
~ Molly

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Raving Loonie wrote:
> Twittering One wrote:
>
> Oh.
>
> ... it seems that you have been caught out in the mysterious and
> confusing " Twilight Zone" with your trousers down.
>
> ~^* An ADD Classic=99 *^~
>
> ... and nobody seems to realize OR recognize it. <sigh>
>
>
> Huh?
>
> ( ... to be elaborated upon )

So, where is this "Twilight Zone"?

It's that endless expanse which exists between HYPERFOCUS and
HYPOFOCUS.

The place is confusing because it's not easily recognized. ( ... by
anyone )

... More elaboration is necessary! ( Later ... T1. I'm not going
to rush it. "Flubbing it" is too werisome )

Sincerely,

RL

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

"What you'll end up, iff you don't float
Belly up ~ A hypocritical, two-faced, fluffy trick poodle
For the
Clown's crowd."
~ Ortrud Jones

"O, that's nice."
~ Capsicum

"A politician, or patrician,
Or an Undercover Agent for The KGB ~ !"
~ The Annotator

Twittering One

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

~ * The Intercoastal
Waterway ...

Nomad's Land,
Piracy on the high seas ...

Raving Loonie

2006-02-26, 12:59 am

Twittering One wrote:
> ~ * The Intercoastal
> Waterway ...
>
> Nomad's Land,
> Piracy on the high seas ...

My former shrink-a-dink said that he had ' figured me out'.

... and he did, too !

He said that I saw things <close-in> and also <far-away>
.. that I oscillated between those two perspective.

. Yep. Amazingly, he was correct.

I see the long-and-the-short of things.

... A few years after "terminating services" on me, he said that I
wasn't so 'special'.

Yep. ... He was correct, there; ... too.

It would seem that most people with ADD see the-long-and-the-short of
things.

Hyperfocus.
Hypofocus.
Hyperfocus.
Hypofocus.

.. seems to go with the territory.

Those w/o ADD don't seem to both, hyper and hypo focus ....

... probably, just " little 'h' ", hypofocus .... AFAIK.

Seems to me that having the ability to see the big picture ( i.e. ..
to hypofocus ) is what allows me to zoom in and hyperfocus.

... and when I hyperfocus, I loose sight of thre big picture.

Oh, well. ...

... A bientot

RL