| Adelle 2006-09-07, 4:30 pm |
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"Jules" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:FjYLg.15336$H03.5942@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> "Chuck Whealton" <chuck_whealton@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1157592753.846023.59470@h48g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
> years..anyway
> which
> he
> spitfire
> will
>
>
> Chuck, very complicated my family
>
> mom n dad divorce when i was 2....neither one wants me. live with
> grandparents (from fathers side)
>
> no contact with either...last week i visit someone, and i found out my
> mother lives next door...i didn tknow where she lived......turns out her
> 'real' father was a Spitfire pilot who left when she was a baby and her
> mother got married so she didnt know nothing as a child.
>
> I have just had some devestating news, i was called by my real father, not
> to visit my grandfather again, or take him on trips....the old peoples
> home
> has been intructed not to let me in. At the moment im trying to find free
> legal advice, but i leave for germany on Tue. I was due to take my
> grandfather on another day out on Sunday, but not now
>
> A few people here know how evil my real father is, dont want to go into
> the
> details here.....he has never been there in my life and has always tried
> to
> destroy it.
>
> Im just glad in a few hours the brother of my german ex gets here when i
> pick him up from the coach park and i know he has a huge bottle of vodka
> fo
> rme
Vodka isn't the answer.
I'm going to put on my lawyer hat on for a minute. Problem is - I've studied
American Law, which diverged from British law a couple hundred years ago.
This is an issue of whether it is appropriate for your grandfather's
guardian to interfere with your relationship with your Granddad. Since your
Grandfather was your guardian growing up, he stood as your parent.
Interference now between that parent/child bond is inappropriate, especially
when the interferer is the one who abandoned you in the first place. He
doesn't have what is called 'clean hands' under the law. He caused this
parent child relationship to be formed by abandoning his child to this other
man. To then come back and try to break that relationship is cruel and
'inequitable' under law.
But there is a legal technicality to the above argument - I don't know what
British courts have done regarding the 'clean hands doctrine.' US courts
only recognize it in very limited ways since about 1970.
There is also the straightforward issue - are your Father's actions harmful
to your grandfather's mental health and well being. And is that the standard
for removing someone as a guardian in Britain?
My guess is, that your Grandfather having raised you would give you what's
called 'standing,' that is makes you a person entitled to file suit in
regards to your grandfather's well being. You could file to become guardian
of your grandfather on the basis that you Dad's actions are harmful to your
grandfather's mental health and well being. Don't know if you'd win, because
it sounds as if your grandfather is still competent from your descriptions.
But if he has already been declared incompetent (I think you mentioned that
previously), you can then challenge your father as to who should be
guardian. The nursing home staff would need to testify as to your affect on
Granddad. It won't be an easy or fun time.
Some Barristers will take pro bono cases (will not charge a fee) - maybe a
friend of your grandfather, or someone who was a customer at your
grandparent's shop who would hate to see what this man's son has done to
him.
Another thing to tackle, and I'm sticking my neck out saying this - think
carefully if you really want to do this.
1 - It means dredging up and facing all your baggage regarding your father.
That is a very hard thing to do emotionally. But you chance coming out the
other side forged into someone less encumbered by the past.
2 - It means having to step up and be a responsible *adult* all the time,
because responsibility for your grandfather and his care will be an all the
time thing. If the court sees you as someone not capable of the
responsibility, they won't give it to you, even if they still take it away
from your Dad and make a third party, a stranger, the guardian.
3 - How will you feel if you give up this fight without trying to change
things?
I've listened to you for a while now. I like you. But you strike me as
someone teetering on that edge of adulthood, prolonging their adolescence
because of disability, depression and feeling like you are not a capable
person. Being willing to be responsible for your Granddad means becoming a
capable adult. It means showing the court you are a responsible person who
wants to care for and can take care of your grandfather; that you want to do
so out of respect, love and devotion, and not for any personal gain.
Your motivation is clearly loving and respectful. Are you ready for the rest
of it? And are you ready to live with yourself if you don't?
Adelle
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