Alzheimers support - Update from Sydney Aust

Author

Update from Sydney Aust

Liz (Aust)

2006-06-08, 8:25 am

For those who remember my problems I had finally made it clear to my
husband's doctors that I could not have him at home full time and they
had agreed to try and find him somewhere to live where he could have
the stimulation and supervision he needed.

Well they told us both last week that he had a room in a local
community type house not far from our home. It is run by the Catholic
Church and they have about 16 people living there, some with mental
illness, some with other problems but they would provide him all meals
and supervision and we were looking at what was available in the
community to help keep him active and occupied.

I even took him home both days last weekend as after he treated me
badly I told him how I felt and he seemed to make a big effort to be
polite and agreeable.

It looked like this would work out well as I had assured him that I was
not going to abandon him and as this place was close to home he would
still come home on the weekends and be part of the family. He seemed
quite happy with the situation.

Only someone gave the room promised to him away to another needy person
and we are back to square one. They have no idea when another room will
be available so he is still in the psych hospital and feeling very
upset that he is still there.

I have this horrible feeling that they are trying to force my hand to
bring him home and I know I can't do that for although he seems fine
most of the time I know he should not be left alone at home all day
while I am at work.

Tonight when I went to see him he barely spoke to me, spent a lot of
the time with his eyes closed and when they called him to get his meds
I left as it was obvious he was not happy and I cannot blame him, but
there is little I can do as they refuse to place him in a nursing home
because he is only 56 and they are also worried as he has been
agressive in the past. They say he is too well for a home at this
point.

I wish I knew what to do, I just want what is best for him and to know
he is safe so that I can work in peace.

Anyway just thought I would show my face here, so to speak.
Liz

Evelyn Ruut

2006-06-08, 4:25 pm

"Liz (Aust)" <owliz@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1149770995.956685.70000@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> For those who remember my problems I had finally made it clear to my
> husband's doctors that I could not have him at home full time and they
> had agreed to try and find him somewhere to live where he could have
> the stimulation and supervision he needed.
>
> Well they told us both last week that he had a room in a local
> community type house not far from our home. It is run by the Catholic
> Church and they have about 16 people living there, some with mental
> illness, some with other problems but they would provide him all meals
> and supervision and we were looking at what was available in the
> community to help keep him active and occupied.
>
> I even took him home both days last weekend as after he treated me
> badly I told him how I felt and he seemed to make a big effort to be
> polite and agreeable.
>
> It looked like this would work out well as I had assured him that I was
> not going to abandon him and as this place was close to home he would
> still come home on the weekends and be part of the family. He seemed
> quite happy with the situation.
>
> Only someone gave the room promised to him away to another needy person
> and we are back to square one. They have no idea when another room will
> be available so he is still in the psych hospital and feeling very
> upset that he is still there.
>
> I have this horrible feeling that they are trying to force my hand to
> bring him home and I know I can't do that for although he seems fine
> most of the time I know he should not be left alone at home all day
> while I am at work.
>
> Tonight when I went to see him he barely spoke to me, spent a lot of
> the time with his eyes closed and when they called him to get his meds
> I left as it was obvious he was not happy and I cannot blame him, but
> there is little I can do as they refuse to place him in a nursing home
> because he is only 56 and they are also worried as he has been
> agressive in the past. They say he is too well for a home at this
> point.
>
> I wish I knew what to do, I just want what is best for him and to know
> he is safe so that I can work in peace.
>
> Anyway just thought I would show my face here, so to speak.
> Liz

Dear Liz,

Thanks so much for bringing us up to date. I am glad you stuck to your
guns about not taking him home full time. Eventually they will have to
find a solution that will be acceptable and safe for all concerned. Take
care of yourself and I feel sure things will sort themselves out in some
reasonable manner.

--

Best Regards,

Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

august

2006-06-08, 4:25 pm

"Liz (Aust)" <owliz@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1149770995.956685.70000@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
(snip)
>
> I have this horrible feeling that they are trying to force my hand to
> bring him home and I know I can't do that for although he seems fine
> most of the time I know he should not be left alone at home all day
> while I am at work.
>
> Tonight when I went to see him he barely spoke to me, spent a lot of
> the time with his eyes closed and when they called him to get his meds
> I left as it was obvious he was not happy and I cannot blame him, but
> there is little I can do as they refuse to place him in a nursing home
> because he is only 56 and they are also worried as he has been
> agressive in the past. They say he is too well for a home at this
> point.
>
> I wish I knew what to do, I just want what is best for him and to know
> he is safe so that I can work in peace.
>
> Anyway just thought I would show my face here, so to speak.
> Liz

Liz, be patient and hold on to your guns. By this I mean don't let them
pressure you into becoming the 24/7 caretaker in a situation that is already
beyond your ability. all the best, AW

ladylove77

2006-06-08, 4:25 pm

Liz, I am so sorry those plans fell through; sounds as if it would really
have worked well for both of you. Don't let them force your hand. Stand
your ground and take care of yourself.
Gwen

"Liz (Aust)" <owliz@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1149770995.956685.70000@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> For those who remember my problems I had finally made it clear to my
> husband's doctors that I could not have him at home full time and they
> had agreed to try and find him somewhere to live where he could have
> the stimulation and supervision he needed.
>
> Well they told us both last week that he had a room in a local
> community type house not far from our home. It is run by the Catholic
> Church and they have about 16 people living there, some with mental
> illness, some with other problems but they would provide him all meals
> and supervision and we were looking at what was available in the
> community to help keep him active and occupied.
>
> I even took him home both days last weekend as after he treated me
> badly I told him how I felt and he seemed to make a big effort to be
> polite and agreeable.
>
> It looked like this would work out well as I had assured him that I was
> not going to abandon him and as this place was close to home he would
> still come home on the weekends and be part of the family. He seemed
> quite happy with the situation.
>
> Only someone gave the room promised to him away to another needy person
> and we are back to square one. They have no idea when another room will
> be available so he is still in the psych hospital and feeling very
> upset that he is still there.
>
> I have this horrible feeling that they are trying to force my hand to
> bring him home and I know I can't do that for although he seems fine
> most of the time I know he should not be left alone at home all day
> while I am at work.
>
> Tonight when I went to see him he barely spoke to me, spent a lot of
> the time with his eyes closed and when they called him to get his meds
> I left as it was obvious he was not happy and I cannot blame him, but
> there is little I can do as they refuse to place him in a nursing home
> because he is only 56 and they are also worried as he has been
> agressive in the past. They say he is too well for a home at this
> point.
>
> I wish I knew what to do, I just want what is best for him and to know
> he is safe so that I can work in peace.
>
> Anyway just thought I would show my face here, so to speak.
> Liz
>

Barb Terry

2006-06-08, 4:25 pm

Liz,
Gosh how hard this must be at just 56.That is my age.I wish you both
the best.Barb

Tumbleweed

2006-06-12, 4:26 pm

"ladylove77" <ladylove77@knology.net> wrote in message
news:f363a$4488758e$45491df5$7494@KNOLOGY.NET...
> Liz, I am so sorry those plans fell through; sounds as if it would really
> have worked well for both of you. Don't let them force your hand. Stand
> your ground and take care of yourself.
> Gwen
>

Got to agree 100% with that, if he is too aggressive for a home, that
includes yours!

--
Tumbleweed

email replies not necessary but to contact use;
tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com

Nina Pretty Ballerina

2006-06-28, 8:26 am

"Tumbleweed" <thisaccountneverread@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:4f5iosF1g29m7U1@individual.net...
>
> "ladylove77" <ladylove77@knology.net> wrote in message
> news:f363a$4488758e$45491df5$7494@KNOLOGY.NET...
>
> Got to agree 100% with that, if he is too aggressive for a home, that
> includes yours!
>
> --
> Tumbleweed
>
> email replies not necessary but to contact use;
> tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com
>

very good point tumbleweed.

Stick to your guns liz, wishing strength to you....

chris in melb