| ncgen 2005-09-24, 12:36 pm |
| I realize most of my posts have been long. Reading all the posts has
brought back tons of memories. The past three days since I left work,
I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do now after I take a
little mini destress vacation. I desperately needed a break, but this
morning, I found out that a resident that I had gotten close to her and
her family had passed away yesterday. It's really hard not being there
for them now. Two days ago, I went to pick up my children at school
(which they love mom being there to pick them up for a change), a
family member of a former resident stopped and told my son's teachers
all these wonderful things about how good I was to her uncle and was
always there for him and their family. It was nice for my sons to hear
that the job that took me away from them too much meant something, but
it also made me feel guilty for leaving my residents too. So, today
after hearing another one passed, I guess I am just feeling guilty over
my decision and that I'm not there for them. I just can't seem to give
120% to both anymore. Maybe I'm getting old or just worn out LOL, but I
had to do this for myself and my family. It's so hard though and this
list has helped so much the last two days. One thing it's done is make
me remember how much effort it is and that it's time I take time for
myself to do something I've wanted to do for years and more time for my
children. Right now, that has to be my focus. Maybe once I get some
rest, I'll pick up my writing seriously again. I tried yesterday but I
kept dozing off more than typing. LOL So anyway, thanks.
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