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| Hi.... Looks like a nice newsgroup here. I'm reasonably lucky in that
mother's dementia has progressed slowly (it started in October of '92) and
she's become very sweet and easy to get along with for the most part.
That's the good news about her dementia. I have a brother who has Durable
Power of Attorney over her and thinks that she can decide what's best for
herself. For the past several years she has been going to Florida every
winter. My brother takes her down there and leaves her and arranges for a
neighbor ( this neighbor is 90 years old and not in good physical health) to
take her to the store. He was going to use her money to buy her a new car
in 2001 so I had to turn her into the state of Florida that she isn't
capable of driving and eventually her license was suspended. Anyway he told
me that he took her to the doctor (here in Indiana) about a week ago and the
doctor told him that she is in the final stages of dementia and might start
having physical problems. The doctor pointed out her lack of bathing and
increasing confusion were signs of this. He asked the doctor if she could
live alone with someone looking in on her and the doctor that would be fine
but he neglected to tell the doctor that Mom's nearest relative would be
1100 miles away. . Mom has never wondered off and some days can actually
carry on a conversation, use the phone and you wouldn't guess how impaired
she is. My brother insists that she go to Florida and he will employ a
social service agency to look in on her twice a week. He also said that she
would be in Florida a shorter period of time. My question for discussion is
should I take him to court for guardianship if he continues to insist that
she go. He will not listen to any other family member about this and
insists we are all wrong about her ability to make decisions. He is very,
very dense. I agreed to give him the POA a few years ago when I was taking
care of a special needs grandchild during the day. I still take care of
this grandchild but he's much better and no longer has a cpap or trach. He
only has a feeding tube now and is learning to eat. He's 4 years old.
This may cause a terrible family riff if I take my brother to court and Mom
may get along in Florida ok if we're lucky. I can easily talk my mother
into staying here in Indiana in an assisted living facility but then my
brother talks her out of it. According to my attorney when my mother signed
the POA she wanted my brother to make all her decisions. My daughter has
had the same problem. She will talk her grandmother into staying here in
Indiana but then my brother will talk her out of it. Guardianship would
put more stress on me and my husband who has POA for his 101 year old
mother. Yikes! We sound like one of those soap operas. Is there another
alternative that I haven't thought of? I've called the doctor and asked
that she be more direct with my brother about my mother's capabilities. But
knowing my brother this probably won't work. Another scenario would be
having the doctor sign a statement saying my mother is incompetent when he
leaves her in Florida and faxing a copy of the letter to the local social
service agencies including the one that is looking in on her. Another legal
problem is that she is a resident of Florida. I know there's no easy answer
unless by some miracle he comes to his senses. He did eventually agree I
was right about the driving thing but it wasn't until he exhausted
everything to try to help to get her license back. Perhaps I'm just using
you all as a sounding board and I apologize for such a long post. My
brother isn't a monster. He takes very good care of Mom on day to day
things. That what makes this so hard. He's 65 and not married. Thanks for
listening........
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-24, 6:26 pm |
| "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5mREe.204397$xm3.63163@attbi_s21...
> Hi.... Looks like a nice newsgroup here. I'm reasonably lucky in that
> mother's dementia has progressed slowly (it started in October of '92) and
> she's become very sweet and easy to get along with for the most part.
> That's the good news about her dementia. I have a brother who has
> Durable Power of Attorney over her and thinks that she can decide what's
> best for herself. For the past several years she has been going to
> Florida every winter. My brother takes her down there and leaves her and
> arranges for a neighbor ( this neighbor is 90 years old and not in good
> physical health) to take her to the store. He was going to use her money
> to buy her a new car in 2001 so I had to turn her into the state of
> Florida that she isn't capable of driving and eventually her license was
> suspended. Anyway he told me that he took her to the doctor (here in
> Indiana) about a week ago and the doctor told him that she is in the final
> stages of dementia and might start having physical problems. The doctor
> pointed out her lack of bathing and increasing confusion were signs of
> this. He asked the doctor if she could live alone with someone looking in
> on her and the doctor that would be fine but he neglected to tell the
> doctor that Mom's nearest relative would be 1100 miles away. . Mom has
> never wondered off and some days can actually carry on a conversation, use
> the phone and you wouldn't guess how impaired she is. My brother insists
> that she go to Florida and he will employ a social service agency to look
> in on her twice a week. He also said that she would be in Florida a
> shorter period of time. My question for discussion is should I take him
> to court for guardianship if he continues to insist that she go. He will
> not listen to any other family member about this and insists we are all
> wrong about her ability to make decisions. He is very, very dense. I
> agreed to give him the POA a few years ago when I was taking care of a
> special needs grandchild during the day. I still take care of this
> grandchild but he's much better and no longer has a cpap or trach. He
> only has a feeding tube now and is learning to eat. He's 4 years old.
> This may cause a terrible family riff if I take my brother to court and
> Mom may get along in Florida ok if we're lucky. I can easily talk my
> mother into staying here in Indiana in an assisted living facility but
> then my brother talks her out of it. According to my attorney when my
> mother signed the POA she wanted my brother to make all her decisions. My
> daughter has had the same problem. She will talk her grandmother into
> staying here in Indiana but then my brother will talk her out of it.
> Guardianship would put more stress on me and my husband who has POA for
> his 101 year old mother. Yikes! We sound like one of those soap operas.
> Is there another alternative that I haven't thought of? I've called the
> doctor and asked that she be more direct with my brother about my mother's
> capabilities. But knowing my brother this probably won't work. Another
> scenario would be having the doctor sign a statement saying my mother is
> incompetent when he leaves her in Florida and faxing a copy of the letter
> to the local social service agencies including the one that is looking in
> on her. Another legal problem is that she is a resident of Florida. I
> know there's no easy answer unless by some miracle he comes to his senses.
> He did eventually agree I was right about the driving thing but it wasn't
> until he exhausted everything to try to help to get her license back.
> Perhaps I'm just using you all as a sounding board and I apologize for
> such a long post. My brother isn't a monster. He takes very good care
> of Mom on day to day things. That what makes this so hard. He's 65 and
> not married. Thanks for listening........
June, sometimes that is all we CAN do, is to listen. It sounds to me as
though your situation is well understood, and any advice we give wouldn't
help a lot, since what you really need is for the doctor to ASSURE your
brother that she should not ever be alone anymore, in terms even he can
understand.
That is what happened to us. The doctor told us that my mother in law was
at a point where she could no longer be left alone. It seemed to us, as
though she wasn't really all that bad at the time, and in fact we left her
in her home for a few more months, during which time she proceeded with
several situations to prove to us beyond a shadow of a doubt that she needed
full time supervision.
This may be what happens in your mom's case. Your brother seems to be well
meaning, but absolutely unaware of her true deficits. He is definitely
going to get some kind of a wakeup call, and let's just hope it isn't
anything disastrous.
In our case it was a case of her taking too many pills or not enough. (after
all her memory didn't work anymore). She left pots on the stove till they
burned. She ate food that was there for days thinking she had just cooked it
and got sick from it. She paid bills twice or not at all. She got lost
going to the corner store. She stopped bathing and eating and lost a lot of
weight..... BUT if you talked to her on the phone, you would never know all
this was going on!
Only you can know if it is worth creating a horrible family rift over this
disagreement about her state of mind. You need to maybe talk to that same
doctor who said it was OK for her to go to Florida again, or maybe write him
a letter. Doctors don't always know the full scenario when a patient
appears to be functioning OK. How can they know the full situation in 15
minutes, especially if your brother is doing all the talking?
If she goes to Florida and something happens and she ends up in a
"situation," your brother will finally be forced to face the reality he
seems so reluctant to deal with. It could be nothing or it could be a real
disaster.
Your brother might be thinking you are worrying too much, but those of us
who have been down this road already know that the deficits can be far worse
than they appear.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
| |
| Songbird 2005-07-25, 12:06 am |
|
"June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5mREe.204397$xm3.63163@attbi_s21...
.. My brother insists that she go to Florida and he will employ a
> social service agency to look in on her twice a week.
Why? I'm unclear as to her living arrangements the rest of the year. Does
she live with him? If so, he may be looking for a respite. Or is it that she
has to spend a certain amount of time in the state each year to qualify as a
resident and therefore get better tax treatment, perhaps?
If not, which seems more logical since you say there are bathing issues
(though even the strongest caregiver sometimes has to give up on that one!),
he may still be looking for a break. Or he may be in denial about the actual
amount of reduced capacity.
Does Mom want to go to Florida? If it's like "one last trip," could someone
go with her and stay just a few weeks to say goodbye to old friends and old
haunts?
I'd avoid the guardianship route unless true neglect, abuse or endangerment
becomes clear. Caring for someone with this ungodly disease is hard
enough -- you all need to work together, as there is more than enough work
to go around. And before you take on guardianship, you might want to invite
her for a visit so you can see what you are really up against.
Sounds like going to Florida or not, it's time for a family pow wow for what
is the next step. I found with my parents it is much easier to plan where
they will go when the time comes and keep that as a separate issue from
*when* that time will be. That's a separate battle, so to speak.
Songbird
| |
|
| No. It's total denial on my brother's part. She has a trailer that is
about 30 ft from his house that she stays in during the summer months. I'm
sure she would enjoy assisted living and does have the means for it. But
there again my brother controls her money. He thinks it's too expensive.
I think he enjoys her company and perhaps the control and really thinks
he's doing her a favor I've tried to explain that if she has to go to a
nursing home at some point then her money will spent then. Years ago she
got a Florida drivers license to avoid Indiana's excise tax and registered
to vote in Florida and it's somewhat of a gray area as to what state she's a
resident. As for my brother...he's not the sharpest crayon in the
box.....I'm leaning toward letting the chips fall where they may. I know
it upsets her if we show disagreement on her care. I'm still holding out
hope that the doctor may get through to him. I'll leave a post if there's
another installment in the on going saga......
"Songbird" <carolinasongbird@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:oFVEe.26532$do5.1734@bignews5.bellsouth.net...
>
> "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:5mREe.204397$xm3.63163@attbi_s21...
> . My brother insists that she go to Florida and he will employ a
>
> Why? I'm unclear as to her living arrangements the rest of the year. Does
> she live with him? If so, he may be looking for a respite. Or is it that
> she has to spend a certain amount of time in the state each year to
> qualify as a resident and therefore get better tax treatment, perhaps?
>
> If not, which seems more logical since you say there are bathing issues
> (though even the strongest caregiver sometimes has to give up on that
> one!), he may still be looking for a break. Or he may be in denial about
> the actual amount of reduced capacity.
>
> Does Mom want to go to Florida? If it's like "one last trip," could
> someone go with her and stay just a few weeks to say goodbye to old
> friends and old haunts?
>
> I'd avoid the guardianship route unless true neglect, abuse or
> endangerment becomes clear. Caring for someone with this ungodly disease
> is hard enough -- you all need to work together, as there is more than
> enough work to go around. And before you take on guardianship, you might
> want to invite her for a visit so you can see what you are really up
> against.
>
> Sounds like going to Florida or not, it's time for a family pow wow for
> what is the next step. I found with my parents it is much easier to plan
> where they will go when the time comes and keep that as a separate issue
> from *when* that time will be. That's a separate battle, so to speak.
>
> Songbird
>
>
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-25, 12:06 am |
| "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:NpWEe.205664$nG6.50701@attbi_s22...
> No. It's total denial on my brother's part. She has a trailer that is
> about 30 ft from his house that she stays in during the summer months.
> I'm sure she would enjoy assisted living and does have the means for it.
> But there again my brother controls her money. He thinks it's too
> expensive. I think he enjoys her company and perhaps the control and
> really thinks he's doing her a favor I've tried to explain that if she
> has to go to a nursing home at some point then her money will spent then.
> Years ago she got a Florida drivers license to avoid Indiana's excise tax
> and registered to vote in Florida and it's somewhat of a gray area as to
> what state she's a resident. As for my brother...he's not the sharpest
> crayon in the box.....I'm leaning toward letting the chips fall where they
> may. I know it upsets her if we show disagreement on her care. I'm
> still holding out hope that the doctor may get through to him. I'll leave
> a post if there's another installment in the on going saga......
There's a lot to be said for "letting the chips fall where they may"
excepting there may be a rather rude awakening when she needs to go into a
nursing home and there needs to be a FULL ACCOUNTING of every penny spent on
her care up to that point, because Medicare needs a three year lookback
period, you know. (I hope your brother knows this).
Unless she is so wealthy that she can pay for nursing home care nearly
indefinitely, this can be a big issue.
We don't talk too much about Medicare requirements on this newsgroup because
of the fact that there are privacy issues involved, but the truth is that a
person who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers (in the USA) is on a
time-clock, where their assets can be used for their care (until they are
all used up).......... and at which point Medicare kicks in......UNLESS one
has not kept proper accounting of the expenditures up till that point, and
acceptance by Medicare is questionable.
If the person is not acceptable by Medicare there can be a real problem
getting into a nursing home. Relatives who think they can beat the system
by transferring assets without proper reason or documentation are in for a
rude awakening. That three year "lookback" period is subject to serious
scrutiny by "the powers that be".
Getting all ones "ducks in a row" with proper legal arrangements in advance
is essential.
Caring for a person who has a debilitating organic brain disease is hard
enough, but being a responsible steward of their assets is truly important
in the big picture, especially when they reach a stage where they need full
time professional care, and are expected to continue needing more. I hope
your brother (who isn't the brightest crayon in the box) is aware of all of
this.
Is he really ready in case she need to go into a home? Somehow I think he
is not up on all the legalities. It is a serious matter and DENIAL is not
a river in Egypt.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
| |
| Songbird 2005-07-25, 12:06 am |
|
"Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:EQWEe.8659$Y54.4754@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:NpWEe.205664$nG6.50701@attbi_s22...
>
> is essential.
>
> Caring for a person who has a debilitating organic brain disease is hard
> enough, but being a responsible steward of their assets is truly important
> in the big picture, especially when they reach a stage where they need
> full time professional care, and are expected to continue needing more.
> I hope your brother (who isn't the brightest crayon in the box) is aware
> of all of this.
>
I also wonder if he maybe doesn't know the difference between assisted
living and a nursing home. If he at some point promised he would never put
*his* mother in one of *those places,* that may be part of the problem. If
he's never been to an AL facility, you may want to see if he would tour one
"just to know our options."
And talk to an elder law attorney -- if her legal residency is in question,
this could create big problems with Medicaid, which is the program which
helps pay for nursing home care. If you live in one state, but are resident
in another -- I'm not sure if you could get Medicaid assistance to live
where you are. I've never looked into it, but I'm glad my folks have now
lived in the same state I do for a year so there would be no question of
residency.
Songbird
| |
|
| You all raise valid points. Evelyn you wrote Medicare but I'm sure you
meant Medicaid. Like I said in my original letter ..my husband has POA for
his 101 year old mother who recently went into a nursing home. She was
bowling and sharp as a tack one week and in the nursing home the next and
now has serious dementia all within a matter of 3 months but that's another
post. In Indiana they can go back up to 5 years if they suspect someone is
hiding assets. I warned my brother about having his mother's name on his
checking account and he did take it off. He should have closed it but like
I said "not the sharpest crayon" ... I am powerless to do anything about her
finances or her healthcare. I don't believe he is spending her money on
anything but for her. He wanted this responsibility and authority so he has
it. It's hard to believe someone could be as dense as he is. Actually I
have another brother that was in the same denial but thank God he married a
wonderful woman who happens to be a nurse and opened his eyes. He refuses
to take any kind of proactive role in her care and lives several miles from
here. He has told my brother with POA that he doesn't want Mom in Florida
but to no avail.
You are right in wondering if he is up to the legalities and I wonder about
it myself. Mom does not have a lot of money but could afford assisted
living for a few years. Frankly I don't know exactly how much money she
has. BTW our governor here in Indiana thinks he has a plan to decrease the
number of patients in nursing homes that are on Medicaid by 50%. Beginning
to think he's as dense as my brother.....
I've mentioned to my brother about prepaying her funeral but I'm sure that
won't happen until she goes into a nursing home.
Years ago I read Suze Orman's "9 Steps to Financial Freedom" and promptly
went out and got long term care insurance for my husband and myself. In
Indiana if your long term care insurance runs out you can go on Medicaid
without losing any assets. Just a footnote in lessons learned.
I do think my brother equates assisted living with a nursing home. He
thinks when she gets really bad that she can go to assisted living. I've
warned him that they won't take her if she wonders off.
Yes he's in for a rude awakening I'm sure. I'll stand by to help put the
pieces together when the time comes. It's what my mother would want...
Sorry for all the ramblings.....
"Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:EQWEe.8659$Y54.4754@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:NpWEe.205664$nG6.50701@attbi_s22...
>
>
> There's a lot to be said for "letting the chips fall where they may"
> excepting there may be a rather rude awakening when she needs to go into a
> nursing home and there needs to be a FULL ACCOUNTING of every penny spent
> on her care up to that point, because Medicare needs a three year lookback
> period, you know. (I hope your brother knows this).
>
> Unless she is so wealthy that she can pay for nursing home care nearly
> indefinitely, this can be a big issue.
>
> We don't talk too much about Medicare requirements on this newsgroup
> because of the fact that there are privacy issues involved, but the truth
> is that a person who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers (in the USA) is on
> a time-clock, where their assets can be used for their care (until they
> are all used up).......... and at which point Medicare kicks
> in......UNLESS one has not kept proper accounting of the expenditures up
> till that point, and acceptance by Medicare is questionable.
>
> If the person is not acceptable by Medicare there can be a real problem
> getting into a nursing home. Relatives who think they can beat the
> system by transferring assets without proper reason or documentation are
> in for a rude awakening. That three year "lookback" period is subject to
> serious scrutiny by "the powers that be".
>
> Getting all ones "ducks in a row" with proper legal arrangements in
> advance is essential.
>
> Caring for a person who has a debilitating organic brain disease is hard
> enough, but being a responsible steward of their assets is truly important
> in the big picture, especially when they reach a stage where they need
> full time professional care, and are expected to continue needing more.
> I hope your brother (who isn't the brightest crayon in the box) is aware
> of all of this.
>
> Is he really ready in case she need to go into a home? Somehow I think
> he is not up on all the legalities. It is a serious matter and DENIAL is
> not a river in Egypt.
>
> --
>
>
> Best Regards,
> Evelyn
>
> (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
>
>
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-25, 10:15 am |
| "Songbird" <carolinasongbird@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:r0XEe.28357$TU.24793@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
>
> "Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:EQWEe.8659$Y54.4754@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> I also wonder if he maybe doesn't know the difference between assisted
> living and a nursing home. If he at some point promised he would never put
> *his* mother in one of *those places,* that may be part of the problem. If
> he's never been to an AL facility, you may want to see if he would tour
> one "just to know our options."
>
> And talk to an elder law attorney -- if her legal residency is in
> question, this could create big problems with Medicaid, which is the
> program which helps pay for nursing home care. If you live in one state,
> but are resident in another -- I'm not sure if you could get Medicaid
> assistance to live where you are. I've never looked into it, but I'm glad
> my folks have now lived in the same state I do for a year so there would
> be no question of residency.
>
> Songbird
Yes, I forgot to mention that!
At the time we took my mother in law to live with us, one of our worst fears
was that she would end up in a nursing home near where she lived instead of
near us. Fortunately by taking her to live with us for a long enough time,
we established her residency in our area.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-25, 10:15 am |
| "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:yCZEe.206289$nG6.81245@attbi_s22...
> You all raise valid points. Evelyn you wrote Medicare but I'm sure you
> meant Medicaid.
Hi June,
Yes, of course I meant Medicaid.... sorry and thank you for making the
correction!
Had been to a party earlier just before I wrote it, and got my terminology
mixed up!
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
| |
|
| June wrote:
> Well it's 97 degrees in Indiana and I think it might snow.
Lucky you. ;-) Just to remind - some facilities do not accept Medicaid.
Bud (florid in Florida)
| |
|
| Well maybe not snow but a minor miracle at least. LOL I'm not sure that
we have any nursing homes around here that don't take Medicaid and I don't
believe any of the assisted living facilities accept it. We'll be looking
for one that she can move from assisted living to an Alzhiemers unit (when
the time comes) in the same complex. If anyone has an ideas as to what
other questions to ask besides the Medicaid one ...I would appreciate
it....Thanks
"Bud" <Bud@romance.org> wrote in message
news:m9GdndoBNNhV4HjfRVn-iw@comcast.com...
> June wrote:
>
> Lucky you. ;-) Just to remind - some facilities do not accept Medicaid.
>
> Bud (florid in Florida)
| |
| Dennis P. Harris 2005-07-25, 11:22 pm |
| On Sun, 24 Jul 2005 18:46:25 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers,
"June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote:
> My question for discussion is
> should I take him to court for guardianship if he continues to insist that
> she go. He will not listen to any other family member about this and
> insists we are all wrong about her ability to make decisions. He is very,
> very dense.
you should ask the court to appoint a guardian. it does not have
to be you, or any other family member. the court can appoint
someone else, most often a social service agency or a court
volunteer, sometimes an attorney.
even if it creates a rift, you mother's safety is the most
important thing. if you brother can't do the job, the court
needs to appoint someone who can.
you will need to document all these occurences IN WRITING and
then contact your state's adult protective services agency. even
if she is a resident of florida, indiana law applies if she's
there. she might even be considered a resident of indiana if
she's there more than 30 days, but you need to talk to adult
protective services or an attorney to find out the answer.
good luck!
| |
| Dennis P. Harris 2005-07-25, 11:22 pm |
| On Mon, 25 Jul 2005 01:00:20 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers,
"Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote:
> We don't talk too much about Medicare requirements on this newsgroup because
> of the fact that there are privacy issues involved, but the truth is that a
> person who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers (in the USA) is on a
> time-clock, where their assets can be used for their care (until they are
> all used up).......... and at which point Medicare kicks in......UNLESS one
> has not kept proper accounting of the expenditures up till that point, and
> acceptance by Medicare is questionable.
>
> If the person is not acceptable by Medicare there can be a real problem
> getting into a nursing home. Relatives who think they can beat the system
> by transferring assets without proper reason or documentation are in for a
> rude awakening. That three year "lookback" period is subject to serious
> scrutiny by "the powers that be".
>
evelyn, you just committed an all-too-common mistake. the
program that pays for nursing home care when the patient has no
financial resources is medicAID not mediCARE.
and yes, family members who transferred assets within the 3 year
lookback period in violation of the medicaid rules can be charged
with medicaid fraud and violation of their fiduciary duties,
perhaps even embezzlement if the spending was without the
patient's consent or the patient was incompetent.
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-26, 9:00 am |
| "Dennis P. Harris" <NO_SPAM_TO_dpharris@gci.net> wrote in message
news:09abe1l97t51cs69jcr3ie1vcf58gvd1n2@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 25 Jul 2005 01:00:20 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers,
> "Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote:
>
> evelyn, you just committed an all-too-common mistake. the
> program that pays for nursing home care when the patient has no
> financial resources is medicAID not mediCARE.
>
> and yes, family members who transferred assets within the 3 year
> lookback period in violation of the medicaid rules can be charged
> with medicaid fraud and violation of their fiduciary duties,
> perhaps even embezzlement if the spending was without the
> patient's consent or the patient was incompetent.
Yes, I realized too late that I had done that, I apologized and corrected it
in another post.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
| |
| Florence A 2005-07-26, 6:00 pm |
| The library has a booklet called New Lifestyles. (The Source for
Seniors-) It's free for the taking. Its quite informative. about NH &
Daycare, Respite, and Short Term,Assisted Living.(ALF) They have a
phone # 800-869-9549 to get a copy if they have one for your State &
area .
My husband is in an ALF for what was to be a short stay. (still debating
this with myself.) He seems happy there. More than with me alone...the
companionship counts for much; where as his not making sense just about
drove me----
| |
| Gwen Love 2005-07-26, 10:59 pm |
| Florence, seems it would be bettter for both of you to leave him in the ALF.
Then you can both enjoy your visits.
Gwen
"Florence A" <smada@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:1753-42E69856-790@storefull-3316.bay.webtv.net...
> The library has a booklet called New Lifestyles. (The Source for
> Seniors-) It's free for the taking. Its quite informative. about NH &
> Daycare, Respite, and Short Term,Assisted Living.(ALF) They have a
> phone # 800-869-9549 to get a copy if they have one for your State &
> area .
> My husband is in an ALF for what was to be a short stay. (still debating
> this with myself.) He seems happy there. More than with me alone...the
> companionship counts for much; where as his not making sense just about
> drove me----
>
| |
| Evelyn Ruut 2005-07-26, 10:59 pm |
| "Gwen Love" <cglghl@knology.net> wrote in message
news:d2a72$42e6d08b$45491f2b$14366@KNOLOGY.NET...
> Florence, seems it would be bettter for both of you to leave him in the
> ALF.
> Then you can both enjoy your visits.
> Gwen
Hi Florence,
I had the same thought.
Only a little over a year ago I witnessed Ida's seemingly effortless
adaptation to the nursing home, with a certain kind of happy surprise. I
had feared it would be so much worse.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
> "Florence A" <smada@webtv.net> wrote in message
> news:1753-42E69856-790@storefull-3316.bay.webtv.net...
>
>
| |
| Betty Harris 2005-07-27, 10:54 pm |
| dphar...@gci.net (Dennis P. Harris) wrote:
"......and yes, family members who transferred assets within the 3 year
lookback period in violation of the medicaid rules can be charged
with medicaid fraud and violation of their fiduciary duties,
perhaps even embezzlement if the spending was without the
patient's consent or the patient was incompetent."
Of course the easiest way around this is to keep the patient locked up
in his/her room until they die from arsenic in their mashed potatoes
and/or anti-freeze in their orange juice. Just be sure that their will
is changed so that you inherit the house.
|
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