| Evelyn Ruut 2005-03-23, 5:30 pm |
| "Lesanne" <larnimnot@rgv.rr.net> wrote in message
news:TKU_d.28431$8D.25202@tornado.texas.rr.com...
> Yes, whatever I say works for a few seconds too Evelyn, I think it all
> comes
> down to what would make ME feel a bit better at the time.
> People have been discussing guilt, and the feelings I have about telling
> stories
> sometime conflict with the feelings I have about not being able to take
> her wherever her mind is wanting to go to. One day when she was really
> wrapped up in this "going home" thing, I put her in the car and drove
> around town to all the places that she had frequented while living here
> and asked her "is this it?" She was in a good mood that day, and kind of
> got
> a kick out of it. Mom still adores going for rides. When she got tired of
> riding
> around she had been so thoroughly distracted that she did not mention
> going again for several hours.
>
> --
> Lesanne
I think the main idea is to use the fact that their memory is not
functioning well to distract them even for just a moment, because that
moment is usually enough to allow them to forget whatever it is they are
repeatedly asking for.
I quickly realized that there was NO way I could bring her into what we know
as *reality*.... she had her own reality, and the only thing was to work
with that.
At first I was dealing with the situation incorrectly, meaning that I would
not lie to her. I would always tell her the truth, but she would argue and
argue and argue with what SHE perceived to be the truth. So I decided that
to avoid the arguments I would tell her something that was in line with her
truth in the interest of peace. It worked very well.
We can think about it this way; What if someone suddenly told you you
cannot trust your own eyes ears and perceptions anymore? This is exactly
what they are experiencing...... faulty perceptions. So the next question
is; Is it better to keep our loved ones peaceful and happy in whatever way
you can, or is it better to argue till you are both exhausted and bad
feelings ensue?
Strange to say that although they cannot remember what you told them two
seconds ago, they can often hold on to an emotion for a while longer.
I know it seems like a backwards way to deal with people, but when someone
is suffering from alzheimers disease, if you have to change the rules to
keep them happy and comfortable, and it harms no one, then go for it.
--
Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")
|