| Evelyn Ruut 2005-12-03, 11:11 am |
| "June" <ljbart@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:jz%jf.589091$x96.169934@attbi_s72...
> I know where you're coming from Evelyn. Sometimes I marvel at my
> mother's understanding but like you say it's fleeting. We are so lucky
> that she's willingly going to assisted living. I know she doesn't
> totally comprehend what we are doing but she totally and utterly trusts us
> to do the right thing. That has never wavered. My brother and I were
> talking about what furniture to take and what might need to be purchased
> and she said I'm right here and I know you're talking about me. I
> reassured her that we were only discussing what we needed to do and that
> we didn't mean to leave her out. It's hard to know sometimes just what she
> understands and doesn't..........June
Yes, exactly. We learned very quickly never to bank on her not
understanding things being said. You just never knew what she would take
to heart and obsess over, or what would be impossible to get her to
understand no matter how many times you told her.
The best rule of thumb was to act like she was perfectly normal and well in
her presence, but discuss sensitive or controversial issues when she wasn't
around to get it all wrong, (but even still expect that she will).
This was never done in a "sneaky" way, but to protect the person from
getting upset from only half understanding things, or getting them
completely wrong :-)
*****
I am sure you have all heard the story how my mother in law was told about
the birth of her first great grandchild, and she thought that SHE had a
baby, and obsessed over it for months night and day. Nothing we could say
would convince her she hadn't given birth to a baby and that we weren't
keeping it away from her someplace in the house! It was one of the most
compelling and difficult delusions we dealt with.
--
Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
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