| Evelyn Ruut 2004-08-15, 7:12 pm |
| "Buffys97" <buffys97@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:ZCKSc.22284$Jp6.63@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> Yesterday, my mother went home from her one week stay with me. She
> begged to go home. Couldn't wait to get home. Had her bag packed and
> was waiting for my husband hours before he was ready to leave.
>
> While she was here, I observed that she checked and double checked
> having taken her pills.....but I think she has always been a tad OCD
> anyway and so for her this is a normal, albeit an exacerbated behavior
> mechanism --probably because of her age and/or disease. She never
> forgot a pill -- just checked and rechecked to see if she took it. She
> remembered her meds better than I did.
>
> While here, she read the paper, worked puzzles a bit, ate, smoked,
> slept a lot, and offered to help me a bit.
>
> I do not confide in my mother as she uses the confidences against me
> or pokes fun. (I told you that she does have this mean streak.) So
> although I am going to a Rachel's Vineyard retreat (for post-abortion
> healing) over this weekend and would not be by to see her, I told her
> I would not be by because I am going to attend a party with a group of
> ladies in a nearby town.
>
> I was an adult when I had the abortion. I accept responsibility. My
> mother did encourage this, though and was ashamed at having an unwed
> pregnant daughter. It was 1972. After the abortion, my plane was late
> arriving home. It was on or near my birthday. I purposely forgot a lot
> about the day. She thought she had lost her darling 27-year old
> daughter. She was relieved when I showed up alive. I thought, "Well
> Mother, I just killed my unborn child. How do you think I feel?"
>
> Over the last 30 years, I have tried to express my heartache to her.
> She changed the subject every time. She thought the entire family was
> there at Christmas, at Thanksgiving, but no...for me someone very
> important was missing...I was grieving for my unborn child. I didn't
> really want to be at the family gatherings, so acute was my loss. But
> I allowed myself to be manipulated into coming. And usually managed to
> get into it with her. Merry Christmas!!!
>
> She remembered that I had weekend plans throughout yesterday and on
> into today. The name of the town, everything! She did reiterate
> repeatedly, "So you won't be by over the weekend. You're going to a
> party? I didn't know you had friends in Whatsittown."
>
> She was just fine when she was with me. As soon as I called her to
> make sure she was OK at home (there was a lag between when my husband
> dropped her off until when my sister would be there) she came to the
> phone breathless, speaking in halting phrases -- not at all the
> together way she was when she was with me.
>
> My husband, who is better with her than I ever could be, once again
> feels that she is being manipulative and (please don't take this
> wrong) wants someone to cook for her, run her errands, make repairs
> for her on her own turf!
>
> I remain baffled by this mysterious disease. She remembers, she checks
> to make sure she did in fact remember.....I don't know.
>
> So I guess for now I am turning yet another page in this chapter of
> continuing our stormy relationship.
>
> Thanks to all who helped me through the week.
>
> Buffy
Buffy,
There are a lot of issues in your post above that I would love to discuss
with you, but for the moment, we will deal only with the pill taking and
checking part.
My mother in law took her pills religiously too. But she forgot that she
took them and took them again. She became so overly diligent about the
pill taking that she ended up being very sick at times. We had no idea why
at the time, thought it was just a bug or something. When the druggist
called us up because she was trying to renew a prescription again when she
should have had two more weeks worth of meds left, we checked and found out
that she was taking the pills over and over, since she kept checking and
thinking she hadn't taken them.
One of the VERY first things to go is short term memory that has to do with
whether or not they took their meds today. The person can seem very fine
and quite "together" but in real life they can't remember taking them, so
they keep on checking and checking and checking. The problem of doubling
up on meds is not at all an odd instance, they all tend to do that and
rather early in the illness too. SOMEONE else should be minding her meds.
She really cannot remember anymore. Oh, and forget about those nice little
boxes with the days on them. She also forgot what day it was, over and
over and over again as well.
Sorry to sound so bleak about it, but I am just telling you the truth about
short term memory problems and alzheimers.
--
Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")
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