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Author Re: Keeping watch on suicidal friend is killing me.
Helga Walters \(Housekeeper\)

2004-08-03, 8:22 pm

Hello, A. J., I was concerned to read ...

"A.J. Rivett" <grinmonkey@playful.com> wrote in message
news:6452ba3f.0404131223.789ab38@posting.google.com...
> My friend overdosed a couple of weeks back and now I'm trying to make
> sure she doesn't try again.


A.J., have you considered keeping her heavily sedated? It's something so
common we often overlook it, but the fact is those in (or approaching) a
comatose state are often unable to execise the physical co-ordination
required to - say - fall off a roof. In your girlfiends case the chances
are she'll simply lay there near the edge, and the only way she'll get a
result would be if she yawned and turned over. (Please, don't be alarmed, A.
J. Statistically unconcious patients only yawn and turn over once per
coma).

> This could actually be pretty funny if I had a better sense of humour.
> I'm depressive as hell myself and on Effexor and I'm trying to
> convince this woman not to off herself.


Hmm ... No, actually A.J., that's actually NOT pretty funny. Are you sure
you're not thinking about an Irish fellow called 'Thermoman' in a yellow
suit, or a French Resistance Bartender called 'Rene'?

> Meanwhile the whole situation
> is making me worse 'cause I'm losing sleep and running out of reasons
> to give her for hanging around.


Try and reduce your sleeping hours, A.J., and you'll find yourself losing
less sleep immediately! Plan on spending only two hours a day in bed and
curse yourself like a billygoat when you oversleep to three. No better way
to make a body tired than keeping it awake.

Best wishes
Helga Walters (Housekeeper)
Little Boxes Nursing Home
http://www.littleboxes.nl


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