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Author dont talk to me i aint listening
uncle jenny

2005-09-26, 5:01 pm

dont talk to me i aint listening
+++

"i want th t shirt paulie"
"good as on th unicycle"

+++

you;ve gone and washed th hair"

"my birthday man"

"give me a break"


+++

dusk

a man and his unicycle


come between em

and i;ll machine gun ya to death


"i can see"
"never mind"


+++

pulel dout th
rusty old surf wheel

and

went for a surf around th block


mmm

bit saad


savage wobble


bout seven pounds of air in th tyre

she's a 27

wobblin

half a pushie


all unicyle



but

i go tup on th first attempt
and

went round th little block without

fallin off er


XXXXin bouncin on th rims she was

but enjoyed her flight round th block

+++

music on
the simpsons has finished

+++
south park kids
'merry XXXXing christmas'
+++

"ya made me watch th idol ppl ya cunt"
"im a background singer"
"just XXXXed a years work"

+++


i built you on this day ya mad
half bicycle
unicycle

millions of smiles stored in your hub

how many miles you done ?

"XXXX nose"
"sorry"
"XXXX knows"

lots anyway

i wont tell how old ya are
cause yur a girl like

"just a loose one"

alright you



XXXX we had some fun together


"you;d stick her in a beach tomorrow"

i'd tighten th hub bolts"
"and oil it"
and maybe put in another five pound in th tyre


and she'd be good

"still wobble"

it's th XXXXin surf jennifer



"cant afford to go anyway"


XXXX that


this beast seen lots of beaches

<<< smile >>>

+++
garbage
'shut your mouth'
+++

no shit

+++

jennifer two unicycle
has done

hundreds of kilometres
inside th surf line


doesnt ride like a normal unicycle

half a bicycle


"feels better"



inside th surf particularly


+++


anyway

right round th little block th young fella had so much trouble with

on about seven pound

and back home


whipped out mark three


and went and did th

big block



beauitful unicycle fly at dusk


surfin along

<<< Smiel >>>

+++


i got up on th first attempt

cracked a big smile and


man
she's all over th place

ya mad XXXXX
settle down

first two hundred metres were

ok

what does work ?


+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++

ok girl
this song works


works well on th unicycle
pedallin along at midnight

down country lanes

+++

"stoned"
ok
yur drugs are comin

+++

"she was well behaved wiz"
pining for th big beach

"she cant go big beach"

"five dollars left"
"sorry girl"
"real life"

+++


but she's been in th surf

rust stained wheel attests to

[ring ring]


rarely
not enough to pay my rego anyway
cheers

+++


ya big arsed XXXXX jennifer
ya nearly took out that land rover

+++


dont talk to me i aint listening

"it's th only defense isnt it ?"

+++


so many many miles
and so many many smiles

we shared

you've been down so many beaches

so many towns


and yet
you;ve scarcely seen a frown

+++
a perfect circle
'thomas'
+++

ok
thomas's brother wasnt much impressed

i was XXXXin his mother

+++


never a good thing

+++


"a perfect circle cloth ears"

nice
swings both ways

"windows psychic maybe"

+++


small footprint on that beast
"if ya air down it"
"lengthens th footprint"

ya also get to use th bulge in th sand

"narrow little tyre"
"doesnt make sense"

all about psi


ground footprint

"but in th surf"
"ya also have"
"water foot print"


"how much mass you got for th wave to take ya"

+++
garbage
'medication'(acoustic)
+++

skinny little beast
loves th surf


"point of balance was askew"

shutup you


"got a bent seatpost"

whole thing's bent


"<<<Smiel >>>"

+++


'we gotta build another one before we die"

we do

+++


we weld th next one
"this was a prototype"
"just half a bicycle"

+++
pink floyd
'pigs on the wing, pt2'
+++

but she does still

fly

+++

"albeit a bit wobblie"
get into a canter and she...
"proscribed man"

"only real men"
"riders of unicycles"
"can talk about unicycle canters"

+++
coldplay
'the scientist'
+++



all th rest ride girls bikes
sorry
secret mens business

go play with yur hair

+++


little x in th top right corner
do th right thing

+++


little one broke into a canter this arv
"i ike her arse"
well obviously

pretty chick
we were overtaking
her walking

and we were just


boppin along


that i can kind of understand

it's th other that gets weirder

th unicycle changes what it's doin

starts XXXXin dancin
goes into a canter


and


that's when i found out

a pretty girl has hoved into view


twnety seconds ago

watchin us from behind



turn around
what are ya doin ya mad unicycle ?


there's no-one out here
on this country road



turn around and






oh hello

+++



ok i know i'm psychic
i like to foist some of it off

+++
cat stevens
'on the road to find out'
+++

alright ya mad unicycle
which way is th kid gunna jump

we're in a foot deep of water
slows th turn down some


+++


"two foot unicycle"
"one foot of water"
"jesus walking on the water"

about three ppl have figured that one

+++


"i was conceived in surfers paradise"
"it has some pull for my heart"

+++

"that's where i was born"
"not in th royal brisbane hospital"

+++


the stoners bible says
..
..
..
be true to yur heart

+++
regurgitator
'kong foo sing'
+++


ah come on
th place aint that japanese

+++


"that;s reaching paulie"

+++


"you dont have to reach"

just playing

+++


hey mum
that unicycle
did quite a few miles


whiel i ran around

singin on street corners there


me and jenny had a XXXXin good time

+++


yeah little dude
a 27 uni can jump off a gutter
and not fold

ya gotta be

gentle but

standard spokes and


she spent too mcuh time in th surf



shamed to say it

couple in there busted


ssshhh

+++
violent femmes
'country death song'
+++


"grandpa's axe"
th hub is original

+++


proper unicycle hub

+++


nuthin for a man to do but
"smoke some drugs"
"and fly on one wheel"

+++

<<< smile >>>

done that today


"many days"


+++



thank you for a lovely ride
i hope you enjoyed your
couple of smiles
we grok you with

"love"

+++


she's been thru th hippy towns
she's wandered th bush
she's been in th ocean

she's entertained old and young alike
she's done more bunny hops than i can count
she's done more gutter jumps than i can count

she's climbed more traffic islands than i can count
she's seen more than two million smiles directed at HER
she's lived...


+++

"she's beaten untold amounts of v8's off th light"
she cheats

+++
placebo
'plasticine'
+++


weaves in and out of th traffic
like a piece of a mad snake

and XXXX she keeps me flexible
"sixpack abs"


so much quicker than most think she is
just lean forward and


she takes off liek a jackrabbit

+++


with that much wobble
you;ve gotta get pretty loose
to accomodate


th wobble gets taken up in th lower body
yur ridin th wheel
on th pedals


th back gets a wonderful workout

+++
D12
'purple hills'
+++


also on this day in history
i rode you over
the mountain of ku ta


runaway flywheel took me for a terror ride on th far side
knees went to jelly and

ugly crash

found a rock to


start th procedure

you know



oh dear

she's out of control

i cant stop er



gotta hit somethin jenny
this is gunna be ugly


legs bein rubber

th landin gear


dont XXXXin work

oops



+++

i learned
i even fit a brake
which is off now

was killin th clown clothes
sharp wire

had a handle under th seat
prototyping
for th big mountains

+++
incubus
'drive'
+++


ya need someone to drive
otherwise
yur on th wheel
up
and down


and ya will fall off
nicer to have

a support crew


next time maybe

+++


before i die
i wanna go down one more

norwegian mountain



but this time


not in a kombi


on a unicycle



one with a decent brake and

and something attached to th frame i can

throw under th wheel as a last resort




but i'd do it on a standard uni

you know


just for th hell of it

+++

because it's there
and nuthin stops my wheel

+++
coldplay
'daylight'
+++


i was selling this house
i had a unicycle

big

on a stand


against th wall



it's a piece of art
a half of a bicycle

not ridable
welded but


it's a prototype of a unicycle i will build




and ride












and how

+++


that was five years ago
a lifetime ago

i built you on this day
and i can remember riding you thru

a nightclub floor
and thousands upon thousands of smiles


+++


..
..
..

passage of time

+++

dont talk to me i aint listening



my three year old son
would invad emy bath
go and sit in th other end
and

dont talk to me i aint listening

ok mate

when yur ready

+++


in th meantime
i'll watch south park

+++



alright
ya big bastard yellow wheel
how many XXXXin blondes wanted a picture with ya ?

+++


'cant count them either"


+++


ah man

+++



even though i';m psychic
i never saw

th blondes


all walkin out to me in th surf

to take a piccie



course th difference is

th boys want a piccie of th thing
in motion


and th girls

want ya to stop and
put yer arm around them


they wanna be in th picture



ok


+++


"well i'll be XXXXed"
you seen so much nice pussy hey wheel

+++


"nice pussy is much better when it's jaw is hangin"
yeah then it aint talkin

+++

i was boppin in th surf

in about eight inches worth

summer and sweatin as


gorgeous model
runs alongside me

bades me stop
and light her cigarette


as it happens beautiful lady

i bought a second lighter


five minutes ago

which i dont need


here

it's yours



meet th bodyguard
gday

chat for half an hour and
we go seperate ways


but i remember

+++


if i chopped a half inch of yur penis
ya'd have a five inch hole in yur belly
ya bloody safety bicycle rider you

+++

i chopped a bicycle in half
and made a beautifully balanced thing

+++

you've seen much love my beautiful unicycle

cant count how many boys
have stared into yur entrails
tryin to figure out
how does it work ?

yeah yur home made
bent and

hard ridden


i love you and th memories we made together


t h hub is unicycle
and th seat

the rest is choppe dup bicycle


and it makes one

beautiful hybrid


i grok you this day




your birthday

+++


do i put this one on th wall ?



art



couple of million smiles on th clock




look at you and see



all that love




the love of the karmic wheel

+++



"you took me"

"to dozens of different musicians"

"where i sang'


"never let me down"

"so stable"

"you can ride ya with a flat tyre"


"back to th car"

"cause th beach sand has gotten past th bead"

"hmm seven pounds IS too low"


"i've sung with my feet resting on yur spokes"

"watched ppl crash on you"

"whiel i sang to em encouraging words"




"i've sung with you"
"after ridin four hours thru th city and"
"th thighs chafed beyond belief"
"withth testicles finally"

"comfortably numb"



"you do me good"

"cant sing without you"


"thank you"






"uncle jenny"
a boy called jennifer
+++

p.s.


"hey tarz"
hey yurself

"you fell off three traffic islands today"
and dint fall off twenty others

"they good practise for th skate bowl combing"
sure are


"nice pedal down th big grass bank"
got a little much pace
but we made it

"gotta love wheelin..."
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