| dan mcgown 2005-09-23, 12:13 pm |
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"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>
> Thank you
Someone,
I think that there is a good reason why angers and resentments are the
first things that we need to analyze when we are working our way through our
4th step personal inventories. I believe that because I see anger and
resentment as being the unthinking, emotional, irrational reaction to most
kinds of disappointment or hurt. It seems to be wired in as part of our
"fight or flight" reaction to threats.
The way past that reaction is supposed to be rational consideration of
what really happened or is happening. Sadly, most people don't learn to
cope with disappointment or threat with rational thought.
Even more sadly, most of us drunks have learned to cope with
disappointment or threat by self medicating with ethanol. So, what we do is
seal in that anger and resentment and let it fester and grow until it
blossoms into a standard and built in response to almost every stimulus that
comes along, even the ones that aren't necessarily disappointing or
threatening. If we start snarling soon enough no one, even ourselves, can
see just how cowed we really are deep down inside.
I think that this response becomes so ingrained that we keep doing it
even when we stop drinking. That's why we see the "dry drunk" phenomenon.
Unless the alkie has honestly worked the 4th and continued to do it with new
things as they arise, he still doesn't face disappointment or threat (or
even any other stimulus) rationally. Instead, he reverts to (or perhaps
simply remains with) the learned behavior of lashing out at anything that
moves.
On the other hand, I could be full of crap, but that's the way it looks
to me.
Dan
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