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Home > Archive > Alcoholism Recovery > September 2005 > damnit
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| Will somebody help me figure this shit out.. It's
really bothering me. I really want to go to
meetings. There are things bothering me about the
meetings. I have too many questions with no clear
answer. I didn't have this problem when i went to
meetings before but i didn't take it seriously
then. I'm already getting sobriety time in and i
feel i should go to meetings but i'm having
problems with some of the AA things i mentioned in
my last reply.. Please help. I am really really
struggling with this. Nearly 3 weeks of
sobrieties and all of a sudden i don't know what
to think of 'AA'. Not a good place for me to be.
I know I'm not the only one that's felt like this.
I know there gotta be some AA members here who
had this struggle.
I am going to a meeting tommorrow and continuing
through the weekend at least for now.
Don't get me wrong it's not like i wanna do it 'my
way' i don't i wanna do this right, i just don't
know what 'right' is now.
Please advise.
Bryan
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| Bryan wrote:
> Will somebody help me figure this shit out.. It's really bothering me.
> I really want to go to meetings. There are things bothering me about
> the meetings. I have too many questions with no clear answer. I didn't
> have this problem when i went to meetings before but i didn't take it
> seriously then. I'm already getting sobriety time in and i feel i
> should go to meetings but i'm having problems with some of the AA things
> i mentioned in my last reply.. Please help. I am really really
> struggling with this. Nearly 3 weeks of sobrieties and all of a sudden
> i don't know what to think of 'AA'. Not a good place for me to be.
>
> I know I'm not the only one that's felt like this. I know there gotta
> be some AA members here who had this struggle.
>
> I am going to a meeting tommorrow and continuing through the weekend at
> least for now.
>
> Don't get me wrong it's not like i wanna do it 'my way' i don't i wanna
> do this right, i just don't know what 'right' is now.
>
> Please advise.
>
> Bryan
I'm reading a little big book before bed. Help me
figure this out. Not really the topic i'd wanna
bring up at a meeting, or is it?
| |
| Dan McGown 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
|
"Bryan" <bekberg@charter.net> wrote in message
news:VqyRe.21479$1g2.21455@fe05.lga...
> Will somebody help me figure this shit out.. It's really bothering me. I
> really want to go to meetings. There are things bothering me about the
> meetings. I have too many questions with no clear answer. I didn't have
> this problem when i went to meetings before but i didn't take it seriously
> then. I'm already getting sobriety time in and i feel i should go to
> meetings but i'm having problems with some of the AA things i mentioned in
> my last reply.. Please help. I am really really struggling with this.
> Nearly 3 weeks of sobrieties and all of a sudden i don't know what to
> think of 'AA'. Not a good place for me to be.
>
> I know I'm not the only one that's felt like this. I know there gotta be
> some AA members here who had this struggle.
>
> I am going to a meeting tommorrow and continuing through the weekend at
> least for now.
>
> Don't get me wrong it's not like i wanna do it 'my way' i don't i wanna
> do this right, i just don't know what 'right' is now.
>
> Please advise.
>
> Bryan
Bryan,
I don't know what area you're in and so I don't know what kind of
selection of meetings you may have. I'm kind of spoiled, being in Akron.
Here, it's practically: "Wherever two or three are gathered together --
they'll start a new meeting."
In a "meeting rich" environment like Akron, I'd suggest that you try
sampling a wide variety of meetings to see if you could find one where you
fit better.
Keep at it, meetings or not. You're entering the good part.
Dan
| |
| rockhound 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
| On Thu, 01 Sep 2005 03:59:18 -0400, Bryan <bekberg@charter.net> wrote:
>Bryan wrote:
>I'm reading a little big book before bed. Help me
>figure this out. Not really the topic i'd wanna
>bring up at a meeting, or is it?
I'm probly late (for your bedtime story), but by the sounds of where
you're at ,i'd start working AA around the second page of chapter 3,
(near the bottom in my book) - starts with "We do not like to
pronounce..."
Spent the better part of 20 years myself arguing with AA and the crowd
around it, during and in between drunks and straight stretches and
loop-de-loops. Not a minute of it would i take back.
If you think booze is sometimes hard to swallow, consider a spiritual
way of life that includes God, rigorous truth facing, paying back
debts and constant sacrifice for others. ick
better make sure you're even an alcoholic first, before even
entertaining the notion of such a drastic change as the adoption of
AA attitudes and manner of living, (even though it can be taken
piecemeal)
this decision each man makes on his own.
'nite 'nite
| |
| Ken Ragge 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
| Bryan wrote:
> Will somebody help me figure this shit out.. It's really bothering me.
> I really want to go to meetings. There are things bothering me about
> the meetings. I have too many questions with no clear answer. I didn't
> have this problem when i went to meetings before but i didn't take it
> seriously then. I'm already getting sobriety time in and i feel i
> should go to meetings but i'm having problems with some of the AA things
> i mentioned in my last reply.. Please help. I am really really
> struggling with this. Nearly 3 weeks of sobrieties and all of a sudden
> i don't know what to think of 'AA'. Not a good place for me to be.
>
> I know I'm not the only one that's felt like this. I know there gotta
> be some AA members here who had this struggle.
Bryan,
I'm an ex-AA member who had that struggle and I guess you know what my
decision was 20 years ago. :-)
Ken Ragge
http://www.morerevealed.com
> I am going to a meeting tommorrow and continuing through the weekend at
> least for now.
>
> Don't get me wrong it's not like i wanna do it 'my way' i don't i wanna
> do this right, i just don't know what 'right' is now.
>
> Please advise.
>
> Bryan
| |
| Ken Ragge 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
| rockhound wrote:
> On Thu, 01 Sep 2005 03:59:18 -0400, Bryan <bekberg@charter.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> I'm probly late (for your bedtime story), but by the sounds of where
> you're at ,i'd start working AA around the second page of chapter 3,
> (near the bottom in my book) - starts with "We do not like to
> pronounce..."
>
> Spent the better part of 20 years myself arguing with AA and the crowd
> around it, during and in between drunks and straight stretches and
> loop-de-loops. Not a minute of it would i take back.
>
> If you think booze is sometimes hard to swallow, consider a spiritual
> way of life that includes God, rigorous truth facing, paying back
> debts and constant sacrifice for others. ick
Rockhound,
If AA is so much about "rigorous truth facing," they why are AA members
in ept at ignoring terrible things going on around them? Is the
"rigorous truth facing" only about changing their story to fit
themselves into the AA alcoholic mold?
Ken Ragge
http://www.morerevealed.com
> better make sure you're even an alcoholic first, before even
> entertaining the notion of such a drastic change as the adoption of
> AA attitudes and manner of living, (even though it can be taken
> piecemeal)
>
> this decision each man makes on his own.
>
> 'nite 'nite
| |
| rockhound 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
| On Thu, 01 Sep 2005 12:24:49 -0700, Ken Ragge <ken@nospam.com> wrote:
>If AA is so much about "rigorous truth facing," they why are AA members
>in ept at ignoring terrible things going on around them? Is the
>"rigorous truth facing" only about changing their story to fit
>themselves into the AA alcoholic mold?
>
>Ken Ragge
>http://www.morerevealed.com
I'll bet, if you sampled for some of their comments, some might
conclude that '_NO ONE_ among us has been able to maintain ANYTHING
LIKE perfect adherence...WILLING to GROW ALONG spiritual
lines...principles...GUIDES to progress...not PERFECTION'
And that would rationalize that.
Or maybe they'd just tell you to go f' yourself.
------
grow we must, however painstakingly, in spurts, more or less, from
time to time...
| |
| rockhound 2005-09-02, 8:55 am |
| On Thu, 01 Sep 2005 16:41:31 -0400, rockhound <user@null.org> wrote:
>On Thu, 01 Sep 2005 12:24:49 -0700, Ken Ragge <ken@nospam.com> wrote:
>
>
>I'll bet, if you sampled for some of their comments, some might
>conclude that '_NO ONE_ among us has been able to maintain ANYTHING
>LIKE perfect adherence...WILLING to GROW ALONG spiritual
>lines...principles...GUIDES to progress...not PERFECTION'
>
>And that would rationalize that.
>
>Or maybe they'd just tell you to go f' yourself.
>
>------
>grow we must, however painstakingly, in spurts, more or less, from
>time to time...
Actually, i've given this some hindsight, and whatever it is that
you're complaining about, probly most of them would just pat you on
the shoulder, wish you well, and say something stupid like 'keep
coming back'.
n
e
way
| |
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| Bryan,
I too went through what your going through. Meetings can be
tough at first. especally for someone like me who was socially inept
without a drink in his hand. For all the talk of "we'll love you, till
you can love yourself " The "hand of AA always being there" and "The
newcomer being the most important person at the meeting" I found it rang
hallow. I was hurting, I was in pain. I felt out of place and I felt
differant than.
I wanted those ppl to make it all better for me, to make me feel
better about myself. Didnt they know how bad I felt. Didnt they know
what a wretch I was. And When I had something to say couldnt they read
it in my face?? Why didnt they call on me? Couldnt they see how bad I
wanted to share my pain??
The sad truth is...I get out of a meeting what I put into it. My
sobriety is my priority..not theirs.
At first I didnt like meetings for a number of reasons,Mainly because I
left feeling as shitty as when I went in. I wasnt connecting with the
ppl in the rooms. I was afraid too. I mean shit..I never connected with
ppl that didnt drink and drug the way I did. I thought those ppl in
there could see my shame. However, After being being beaten down enough
times by going back out. I realized that I was the one that had to
reachout... I was the one that had to speak up for my sobriety. It wasnt
the meetings..It was me. Dont get me wrong,there are meetings I dont
care for..and I only go to them when I feel i NEED to. But like the Gent
from Akron said, I live in a "meeting rich inviroment". I have been able
to find meetings of my choosing..And I stick with them. One of the
hardest things I had to do in AA was to let ppl get to know me. I
started to go to the meeting before the meeting.
(arrive 20-30 min. early.) and the meeting after the meeting ( stick
around). It was part of my"going to any lengths" to get sobriety.
As an aside to the cynic that likes to bash AA any chance he gets..You
KEEP COMING BACK. I'm glad they kept telling me that when I was coming
in and out. It made it that much easier to return, knowing that "the
only requirement for AA membership "is a desire to stop drinking" . I
wonder about ppl(dry drunks??) that find it to be their mission in
recovery rooms to bash AA at every turn.
Like a wise man once said "Better to keep your mouth shut and be
thought a fool, Then to open your mouth and prove it" 
later, Chris
| |
| Robert McGregor 2005-09-06, 6:06 pm |
|
"Chris" <stik73161@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:8228-4317BD88-177@storefull-3331.bay.webtv.net...
snipped example>
> Like a wise man once said "Better to keep your mouth shut and be
> thought a fool, Then to open your mouth and prove it"
>
Bet your "wise man" did not succeed at the AA "pigeon" hunt.
Bob;-)
| |
| someone in need 2005-09-06, 6:06 pm |
| uncertainty could be our guiding light
On Sat, 3 Sep 2005 13:28:47 +1000, "Robert McGregor"
<robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>
>"Chris" <stik73161@webtv.net> wrote in message
>news:8228-4317BD88-177@storefull-3331.bay.webtv.net...
>
>snipped example>
>
>
>Bet your "wise man" did not succeed at the AA "pigeon" hunt.
>
>Bob;-)
>
| |
| Robert McGregor 2005-09-06, 6:06 pm |
| "someone in need" <nospamplease@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:49kih1tedv7lgatk3k40jnfog6vj2qeq5i@4ax.com...
> uncertainty could be our guiding light
When I started on the road to recovery, and of necessity rejecting
loyalty to my old ideas, http://tinyurl.com/796hj uncertainty was all
I knew.
Must admit though, I was subsequently inclined to be a *tad*
over zealous regarding many unproven new ideas I, rightly or
wrongly, attributed to AA;-)
One of the more memorable examples was thumping the table insisting,
"These *are* the steps we took!" Only years later did I realise that
of the 60 alcoholics who agreed on the steps as the "middle coarse
for all alcoholics who wanted sobriety," arguably no alcoholic
amongst them would actually take a middle coarse.
With benefit of hindsight, I'm delighted that in at least that
respect, I did indeed take the middle coarse.
Bob
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