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Home > Archive > Alcoholism Recovery > April 2005 > Need advice on a family member who suffers from alcoholism
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Need advice on a family member who suffers from alcoholism
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| My family has a history of alcoholism (both on my Father's and Mother's
side). I had a drinking problem myself and finally had to give up on
drinking. Now a member of my family, who was diagnosed an alcoholic 20 years
ago, is once again having problems w/alcohol. This person is drinking alone,
concealing how much they drink and hiding their liquor. There isn't a day
that goes by that this person doesn't drink. Since one of this person's
friends has entered an alcohol rehab. this person has ceased associating
with them. This person eats only yogurt and popcorn all day yet hasn't lost
weight. I'm worried this person is getting the majority of their calories by
drinking. My brother and I want to talk to this person about their drinking
(i.e. that it's time to give up drinking for good). Does anyone out there
have any advice? Does this newsgroup have a FAQ? If so where? I'll also note
that this person entered alcohol rehab once before and had an extremely
negative opinion of it (i.e. the attitude that these people were losers who
couldn't handle their alcohol). This is an extremely painful situation for
me that I can't allow to continue (I personally suffer from anxiety
disorder/panic attacks).
I apologize for the length of this post and dumping on this newsgroup like
this, but I'm really worried about this situation and don't know what to do.
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"Doug" <pigdos@nospamcharter.net> wrote in message
news:dvbMd.4762$iE7.4564@fe03.lga...
> My family has a history of alcoholism (both on my Father's and Mother's
> side). I had a drinking problem myself and finally had to give up on
> drinking. Now a member of my family, who was diagnosed an alcoholic 20
> years ago, is once again having problems w/alcohol.
> This is an extremely painful situation for me that I can't allow to
> continue (I personally suffer from anxiety disorder/panic attacks).
Ah Doug, you have all my sympathy. Your relative sounds a lot like me. so
I'll tell you what worked for me.
To make a long story short: I was sober in AA for 14 years and then decided
I was cured and went back to drinking. I had to put up with a lot of talk,
but what got me to quit after 3 years of gradually increasing consumption
this last time was the threat of a consequence that I found totally
unacceptable. It was Quit...or else!
With teeth. So I voluntarily entered a rehab. When I got there, the AA
program of recovery came flooding back to me.
Looking back at it all: I now see that humiliating experience as the best
thing that could have happened, as I NOW know there is absolutely no
question that I am an alcoholic.
You can talk to your troubled guy, but if he's like most of us when we
drank, the drink is far more important than any offered advice.
Also:
As you now know, Alcoholism is a family disease. That is - it sickens
everyone around the drinker who cares for him. I suggest you seriously look
into Al Anon for your own sake.
Warmest regards, Prayers, and wishes for better times,
Nat H.
Oxford, Arkansas
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| I'm going to at least bring the subject up. I understand that nothing may
come of it, but I've got to try. One of my friends tried to get someone who
has obvious problems w/alcohol to give up, they thought about it, and
decided they didn't need to. Sometimes I think Prohibition was an attempt to
do the right thing, especially considering that there are more alcoholics
than heroin/cocaine addicts combined.
It's funny but the more I think about it the more I realize how many of my
family members were alcoholics and how many generations of alcoholics there
have been. I had to give up drinking myself. Thanks for the well wishes Nat.
I'll need 'em.
Doug
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"Nat" <n515hoop@centurytel.net> wrote in message
news:KNGdnRJhZtwPxpjfRVn-3g@centurytel.net...
>
> "Doug" <pigdos@nospamcharter.net> wrote in message
> news:dvbMd.4762$iE7.4564@fe03.lga...
>
> Ah Doug, you have all my sympathy. Your relative sounds a lot like me. so
> I'll tell you what worked for me.
>
> To make a long story short: I was sober in AA for 14 years and then
> decided I was cured and went back to drinking. I had to put up with a lot
> of talk, but what got me to quit after 3 years of gradually increasing
> consumption this last time was the threat of a consequence that I found
> totally unacceptable. It was Quit...or else!
>
> With teeth. So I voluntarily entered a rehab. When I got there, the AA
> program of recovery came flooding back to me.
>
> Looking back at it all: I now see that humiliating experience as the best
> thing that could have happened, as I NOW know there is absolutely no
> question that I am an alcoholic.
>
> You can talk to your troubled guy, but if he's like most of us when we
> drank, the drink is far more important than any offered advice.
>
> Also:
> As you now know, Alcoholism is a family disease. That is - it sickens
> everyone around the drinker who cares for him. I suggest you seriously
> look into Al Anon for your own sake.
>
> Warmest regards, Prayers, and wishes for better times,
>
> Nat H.
> Oxford, Arkansas
>
>
>
>
>
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| I would urge you to read Jack Trimpey's book entitled "A New Cure For
Alcoholism."
Your friend does not have a disease. "Alcoholism" is most certainly NOT a
disease. People drink because it is pleasurable. They ignore the bad effects.
The pleasure center of the brain is located in the mid-brain, but the mid-brain
doesn't make the decision to pick up a glass. It is your cortex, the part of
the brain that is the real you. Vow to never drink again. That primitive
portion of the brain (which all mammals have) will just need to be
disappointed. The vow itself will be self-empowering. DO NOT attend "recovery
group" meetings; they are in fact a big part of the problem. Ignore all the AA
crap. It is TOTAL bullshit. If you are a born-again Christian you may embrace
AA because its steps have the same sin, guilt, confession, repentance, and
proselytizing. It's a religion, not just spirtuality. If it is a disease, then
it is a disease that makes people drink coffee in smoke-filled church basements.
I have only looked at this newgroup occasionally, so that is why my reply
follows such a long time after your post. And yes, I used to drink but I don't
now and I never will again.
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| I would urge you to read Jack Trimpey's book entitled "A New Cure For
Alcoholism."
Your friend does not have a disease. "Alcoholism" is most certainly NOT a
disease. People drink because it is pleasurable. They ignore the bad effects.
The pleasure center of the brain is located in the mid-brain, but the mid-brain
doesn't make the decision to pick up a glass. It is your cortex, the part of
the brain that is the real you. Vow to never drink again. That primitive
portion of the brain (which all mammals have) will just need to be
disappointed. The vow itself will be self-empowering. DO NOT attend "recovery
group" meetings; they are in fact a big part of the problem. Ignore all the AA
crap. It is TOTAL bullshit. If you are a born-again Christian you may embrace
AA because its steps have the same sin, guilt, confession, repentance, and
proselytizing. It's a religion, not just spirtuality. If it is a disease, then
it is a disease that makes people drink coffee in smoke-filled church basements.
I have only looked at this newgroup occasionally, so that is why my reply
follows such a long time after your post. And yes, I used to drink but I don't
now and I never will again.
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