| readandpost 2004-12-30, 7:06 pm |
| EXACTLY why i refer to myself as being IN recovery..................it
is a ODAAT thing, and alcoholic thinking could always be with us!
JB wrote:
> I'd like to share with you an experience I had over Christmas but
> before I do, I'll tell you a little about myself.
>
> I quit drinking again on 10th June 2003 and almost every day since
> then I've stuck close to AA folk. Also, I've been working with a
> Sponsor for over 15 months, I try hard to live my life in accordance
> with our 12 Step programme and other AA teachings and I continue to
> study my Big Book and other AA literature.
>
> On Christmas Eve, someone gave us as a present some mince pies
> containing brandy. On that day, I told my husband that he would have
> to eat them and I believe that I was at that time happy with the idea
> of not having any myself. However, by Boxing Day, I was not OK with
> this idea. Instead, I was having to work hard to not eat one because,
> by then, my mind was trying to convince me that they couldn't harm
me.
>
> Now until Christmas time, whenever, recently, I've had the
occasional
> thought about consuming alcohol (usually a glass of wine), those
> thoughts have quickly passed. Not so my thoughts about those brandied
> mince pies. They frequently cropped up during Boxing Day and also the
> day after
>
> Now, maybe if I'd eaten one of those pies my mind would have let me
> believe that it had done me no harm and then convinced me that it
> would be OK for me to have another. And if, after having the second,
> my mind was later able to also convince me that perhaps I could also
> handle a glass of wine, maybe I would have had one - followed by
> another, followed by another followed by................
>
> For me, the trick my mind tried to play on me was the same trick that
> Jim's did. He thought:
>
> "......... if I put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't
hurt me
> on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk. I
> vaguely sensed I was not being too smart but felt reassured as I was
> taking the whiskey on a full stomach. The experiment went so well
that
> I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That didn't
> bother me so I tried another". Thus started one more journey to the
> asylum for Jim (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 36)
>
> For me, my experience with the mince pies has once again brought it
> home to me just how cunning and powerful alcoholism can be and how,
> even now, my mind is still capable of trying to trick me into
> believing that it is OK for me to consume alcohol.
>
> JB
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