| Walter Traprock 2007-02-12, 4:26 pm |
| If You Must Drink --
To the married man who cannot get along without his drink, the
following is suggested as a solution of the bondage of the
habit.
First: Start a saloon in your own home.
Second: Be the only customer. You have no license to pay.
Third: Give your wife two dollars to buy a gallon of whiskey
and remember there are ninety-six drinks in a gallon.
Fourth: Buy your drinks from none but your wife. When the
first gallon is gone she will have $7.60 to put in the bank,
and $2.00 to start in business again.
Fifth: Should you live ten years and continue to buy booze
from her, then die with snakes in your boots, she will have
money enough to bury you respectably, educate your children,
buy a house and lot, marry a decent man and quit thinking
about you.
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