Recovery aa - Letting Go?

Author

Letting Go?

BruceinVt

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Ron G

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

F.H.

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

Ron G wrote:
> "BruceinVt" <pegasus1969@verizon.net> wrote in message
> news:1124416454.752373.102070@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
>
[vbcol=seagreen]
> Have you accepted that your relationship with this woman is over? Quite
> often for myself I find that I cannot let go of something or someone until I
> accept that the relationship with the person, place or thing is ended and I
> have to move on and let go. I cannot let go if I am still trying to hold on.

That'll be a hunert bucks please. ;) My shrink pal says in most cases
it takes 6 months to a year to get over a significant relationship.
(once you "accept" it *is* over)

stuart

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

BruceinVt <pegasus1969@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:1124416454.752373.102070@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
> 24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
> old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
> apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
> and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.

She dump you, or did you dump her? Just curious. The pain of separation is
normal, and especially acute in addicted people. Is the longing for her
about a craving YOU have to have one YOUR needs fulfilled by any chance? If
it were truly loving, then you might see the advantage she is gaining
without yourself in the equation at all.

These feelings will, of course lessen and pass in time. Some of us move on
to new addictions, eventually, and that helps us forget the pain, and others
learn and grow up.

All the best Bruce...

WACO

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

Simply get another squeeze.

BruceinVt wrote:
> Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
> 24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
> old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
> apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
> and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.
>

Sharx35

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

Sharx35

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

"WACO" <WasACucumberOnce@NowI'mSober.com> wrote in message
news:G0eNe.255646$s54.104712@pd7tw2no...
> Simply get another squeeze.

Or an inflatable. Seriously, on the rebound romances are more than often
very dysfunctional.

>
> BruceinVt wrote:
>

F.H.

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

WACO wrote:

> BruceinVt wrote:
[vbcol=seagreen]
> Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
> 24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
> old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
> apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
> and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.
>

And try to remember not to talk about the other one.

Ted L.

2005-08-19, 8:47 am

"stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:jGdNe.189953$9A2.7853@edtnps89...
>
> The pain of separation is
> normal, and especially acute in addicted people.

There we go again, making us out to be special...

--
Ted L.

Benedictus, qui venit in nomine Domini.

stuart

2005-08-19, 11:46 am

Ted L. <Tedl719nospamplease@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6olNe.3841$Bh.3025042@news.sisna.com...
> "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
> news:jGdNe.189953$9A2.7853@edtnps89...
>
> There we go again, making us out to be special...

Well I don't know about me, but I KNOW you're special..:-)
>
> --
> Ted L.
>
> Benedictus, qui venit in nomine Domini.
>
>

Srgnt Billko

2005-08-19, 11:46 am

"BruceinVt" <pegasus1969@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:1124416454.752373.102070@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
> 24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
> old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
> apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
> and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.
>

This is what happens when people try to mix-and-match AA slogans with
sayings from other disciplines. Not sure where "Let Go and Let God" comes
from - maybe Alanon, maybe some novice "therapist" - but it is not an AA
slogan. Why people try to modify a simple program that already works beats
me. Does this sound familiar ? Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human
being the exact natureof our wrongs. Were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character. Humbly asked Him to remove our
shortcomings. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.

David M

2005-08-19, 11:46 am

Srgnt Billko wrote:

> Not sure where "Let Go and Let God" comes from - maybe
> Alanon, maybe some novice "therapist" - but it is not an AA
> slogan.

Well, it could be a paraphrase of: "Were entirely ready to have God
remove all these defects of character. Humbly asked Him to remove
our shortcomings."

stuart

2005-08-19, 5:46 pm

"Srgnt Billko" <frrt@blipl.net> wrote in message
news:3jmNe.114002$5N3.99893@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>
> "BruceinVt" <pegasus1969@verizon.net> wrote in message
> news:1124416454.752373.102070@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
>
> This is what happens when people try to mix-and-match AA slogans with
> sayings from other disciplines. Not sure where "Let Go and Let God" comes
> from - maybe Alanon, maybe some novice "therapist" - but it is not an AA
> slogan. Why people try to modify a simple program that already works
> beats me. Does this sound familiar ? Made a searching and fearless moral
> inventory of ourselves. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another
> human being the exact natureof our wrongs. Were entirely ready to have God
> remove all these defects of character. Humbly asked Him to remove our
> shortcomings. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
> promptly admitted it.

Oh you are a Sarge allright sarge. i remember we had two colours of the
shirts to wear, both green of course, one light one dark. Drill Sgt used to
have us wearing alternating dark/light green shirts on alternate days.
Someone would ALWAYS forget which shirt was expected on any particular day.
Sarge would generally react like someone crapped in his cornflakes. "We want
EVERYONE to look the same"

ABSOLUTELY NO CREATIVITY OR DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS ALLOWED AFTER THE SARGE ERA
HAS BEGUN!!!

Srgnt Billko

2005-08-19, 5:46 pm

"stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
news:D7oNe.190151$9A2.40224@edtnps89...
>
> "Srgnt Billko" <frrt@blipl.net> wrote in message
> news:3jmNe.114002$5N3.99893@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>
> Oh you are a Sarge allright sarge. i remember we had two colours of the
> shirts to wear, both green of course, one light one dark. Drill Sgt used
> to have us wearing alternating dark/light green shirts on alternate days.
> Someone would ALWAYS forget which shirt was expected on any particular
> day. Sarge would generally react like someone crapped in his cornflakes.
> "We want EVERYONE to look the same"
>
> ABSOLUTELY NO CREATIVITY OR DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS ALLOWED AFTER THE SARGE
> ERA HAS BEGUN!!!

Absolutely right !! Creativity is the last thing one needs in AA - and
"development of ideas" (under the influence) is probably what brings people
to AA to begin with.

GaryE

2005-08-19, 5:46 pm

On Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:10:30 GMT, "Srgnt Billko" <frrt@blipl.net>
wrote:

>

>
>Absolutely right !! Creativity is the last thing one needs in AA - and
>"development of ideas" (under the influence) is probably what brings people
>to AA to begin with.
>
sort of like cults, right? complete with cult leaders of the self
appointed kind. Oh, i agree, 'let go and let god' is pretty alien to
aa. what would it take to vote that pollution out?

garbaby

Ted L.

2005-08-19, 5:46 pm

"GaryE" <garyexxxxxxx@swbell.net> wrote in message
news:10gcg1hhrg7inb8raivi70n2kl72gvfiva@4ax.com...
> sort of like cults, right? complete with cult leaders of the self
> appointed kind. Oh, i agree, 'let go and let god' is pretty alien to
> aa. what would it take to vote that pollution out?
>

Come on now Gary. Sarge probably insists the only version of the Bible to
read is the King James.

--
Ted L.

Benedictus, qui venit in nomine Domini.

stuart

2005-08-19, 5:46 pm

"Srgnt Billko" <frrt@blipl.net> wrote in message
news:G8qNe.114680$5N3.70857@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
>
> "stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
> news:D7oNe.190151$9A2.40224@edtnps89...
>
> Absolutely right !! Creativity is the last thing one needs in AA - and
> "development of ideas" (under the influence) is probably what brings
> people to AA to begin with.

You play cards at all Bilko? You are indeed a funny man..

Tommy

2005-08-19, 10:47 pm

"Srgnt Billko"

> This is what happens when people try to mix-and-match AA slogans with
> sayings from other disciplines.

Then there was 'live and let live'

Some people were just born to lead :-)
Cheers
Tommy

Srgnt Billko

2005-08-19, 10:47 pm

"Ted L." <Tedl719nospamplease@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:2nrNe.12248$dm5.7697589@news.sisna.com...
> "GaryE" <garyexxxxxxx@swbell.net> wrote in message
> news:10gcg1hhrg7inb8raivi70n2kl72gvfiva@4ax.com...
>
> Come on now Gary. Sarge probably insists the only version of the Bible to
> read is the King James.
>
> --
> Ted L.
>

Sorry Teddy - I must have 8 or 10 versions and I can't say I'm thrilled with
any of them but the one I favor is NRSV.

Srgnt Billko

2005-08-19, 10:47 pm

"Tommy" <tommyleprechaun@anywhere.com> wrote in message
news:kYtNe.11068$bf6.8625@newsfe1-gui.ntli.net...
>
> "Srgnt Billko"
>
>
> Then there was 'live and let live'
>

Hey - I'm just commenting on em - not "killing" em.

Sharx35

2005-08-19, 10:47 pm

"Tommy" <tommyleprechaun@anywhere.com> wrote in message
news:kYtNe.11068$bf6.8625@newsfe1-gui.ntli.net...
>
> "Srgnt Billko"
>
>
> Then there was 'live and let live'
>
> Some people were just born to lead :-)
> Cheers
> Tommy

Others, like Tommy, are only fit to carp, cavil and kvetch at leaders who DO
lead, e.g PM Blair and Pres. Bush.

>

tedw

2005-08-19, 10:47 pm

BruceinVt wrote:
> Letting go is easier said than done. I let go of the drink a number of
> 24 hours ago but my ex-girlfriend, who I still love, is just like that
> old drink. I obsess over her and find it difficult after three months
> apart to let go and let God. I pray that it does but the emotional pain
> and the longing for her remains. Any suggestions would be welcome.

If you loved her, then dont you still love her? And if you love her
where is the pain in that?

Perhaps what is needed here is an honest inventory . Were you engaged
in an illicit sexual relationship outside of marriage? If so then you
have to see that what you thought was "Love" was really selfishness,
use, and lust. In othe words, you may be a victim of self deception. My
guess is that you are. Seeing that the love you thought was love is not
can be a very painful experience, but we certainly have to face up to
the truth to have the spiritual awakening talked of in the steps.

F.H.

2005-08-20, 8:46 am

tedw, the resident expert on such things wrote:

> you may be a victim of self deception.

Tom

2005-08-20, 8:46 am

On 19 Aug 2005 20:33:30 -0700, "tedw" <tedw2@earthlink.net> wrote:

>
>BruceinVt wrote:
>
>
>If you loved her, then dont you still love her? And if you love her
>where is the pain in that?
>

What? Can't be no pain in love?

>Perhaps what is needed here is an honest inventory . Were you engaged
>in an illicit sexual relationship outside of marriage? If so then you
>have to see that what you thought was "Love" was really selfishness,
>use, and lust. In othe words, you may be a victim of self deception.

I bet you and bubba weren't married while you was in the tunnels of
CRC.....though you ain't a vic you sure suffer from self-deception.

My
>guess is that you are. Seeing that the love you thought was love is not
>can be a very painful experience, but we certainly have to face up to
>the truth to have the spiritual awakening talked of in the steps.

Now what card was it I cut out of the deck......t'was the tedw aka the
joker!

Bruce says it was love...then regardless of the cartoon character
rules broken or not broken ...it was love (at least to him). Still is
according to him.

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stuart

2005-08-20, 8:46 am

tedw <tedw2@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:1124508810.875991.150700@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> BruceinVt wrote:
>
>
> If you loved her, then dont you still love her? And if you love her
> where is the pain in that?
>
> Perhaps what is needed here is an honest inventory . Were you engaged
> in an illicit sexual relationship outside of marriage? If so then you
> have to see that what you thought was "Love" was really selfishness,
> use, and lust. In othe words, you may be a victim of self deception. My
> guess is that you are. Seeing that the love you thought was love is not
> can be a very painful experience, but we certainly have to face up to
> the truth to have the spiritual awakening talked of in the steps.

There you go again using that "we" word again ted.
"You" ain't God and "you" ain't probably "we". I DO know "you" sure as hell
ain't me.
So listen up ted, and listen carefully;
"You" can ONLY speak for yourself, unless another has designated you as
their spokesperson.
I think you figure God may have done just that for you I don't know, maybe
He has, but please, you do not speak for me. I speak for myself.

Tom

2005-08-20, 8:46 am

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 05:38:41 GMT, "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote:

> I speak for myself.

Tedw will pray for you...of course you must do the repenting. As a
good faith measure ask Sarge to be your sponsor. There just isn't any
room for thinking or speaking for oneself in aa. In araa there are
many demons roaming around looking to snare 'I' people.

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Craig S.

2005-08-22, 11:46 am