Recovery aa - George Carlins Drug Rehab Intake Interview

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George Carlins Drug Rehab Intake Interview

Dougwa

2004-12-28, 7:07 pm

George Carlins Drug Rehab Intake Interview

One really doesn't know for sure but I imagine it was something like
this:

Drug Counselor: "Good afternoon, Mr. Carlin. Welcome to the Charter
Hills Celebrity 30 Day Spin Dry Treatment Center"

George Carlin: " This is a 30 day program? Good. I gotta be back in
Vegas for a gig next month.My publicist didn't tell me much about the
program"

Drug Counselor: This is a 12 step program Mr. Carlin. Have you heard
of them?

George Carlin: You heard of me? I tell everybody just what I think of
them. No punches pulled. You got that you *******.

Drug Counselor: We are here to help. Our fee for 30 days is $32,900 (no
meals included). We will help you get your life together. We will
teach you about the 12 steps.

George Carlin: My ******* life is already together you schmuck. I'm a
successful comedian.

Drug Counselor: Our purpose is to help you find a spiritual awakening
to overcome your drug/alcohol problem.

George Carlin: I'm not interested in that. I just want the 30 day
cure and be on my way.

Drug Counselor: There is no cure for alcohol/drug addiction Mr. Carlin.
You are powerless and only God can help you.

George Carlin: Powerless? No cure?

Drugs Counselor: That's right Mr. Carlin. Of yourself you can do
nothing. You know the 12 steps have their roots in Christianity
didn't you?

George Carlin: Christianity?

Drug Counselor: Yes, that's right Mr.Carlin. We try and hide it a
little but the truth is that the founders, Bill Wilson and Bob Smith,
got their ideas from the Oxford Group. It was also known as the First
Century Christian Fellowship. You can handle the Truth cant you Mr.
Carlin?

George Carlin: Truth. Sure I can handle the Truth. That's what I get
paid for. Say, aint you ever heard of me?.

Drug Counselor: The truth is Mr. Carlin that you are a lot worse than
you think. If fact, your hopeless unless God helps you. I see you had a
cocaine addiction and now your on alcohol/vicodin and your pretty much
a hopeless mess.

George Carlin: No hope?.

Drug Counselor: That's right Mr. Carlin. No hope unless the God helps
you.

Geroge Carlin: How weird. I just wrote a book about God. When will
Jesus bring the Pork Chops? Did you check it out?

Drug Counselor: I'm afraid that's not what I mean.You have to turn
your will and your life over to God if you want to be restored to
sanity Mr. Carlin.

George Carlin: You don't understand I do comedy routines and I use a
lot of bad language. I just cant do that. I'd have to admit I'm
wrong!!

Drug Counselor: I'm afraid that is what you will to have to do Mr.
Carlin. And your probably going to have to make amends.

George Carlin : Amends?

Drug Counselor: Yes, you know. Apologize to everyone for what you've
said and how you said it. What do you think Mr. Carlin?

George Carlin: Oh, S***.
http://christianrecovery.blogspot.com

Ted L.

2004-12-28, 7:07 pm

"Dougwa" <tedw2@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:1104273519.966668.206210@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> George Carlins Drug Rehab Intake Interview
>
>
>
> One really doesn't know for sure but I imagine it was something like
> this:

Whew, but nice try. For a moment I thought Nestique had something to worry
about.

--
Ted L.

Benedictus, qui venit in nomine Domini.