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| Eternal Laws of Usenet
1. If you post and pretend to be a fool, people will believe that
you are a fool.
Corollary: If you then post and explain that you were only
pretending, nobody will change their mind.
2. The Net-Nature is very simple. Usenet is *not* dominated by
the smartest people, the most interesting people, or the most
learned people. It is dominated by the people who want to tell
other people their opinions. To expect anything else is absurd.
3. Similarly, the topics that dominate any given newsgroup are
not the most interesting, the most helpful, or the most useful.
They're the most acrimonious and the most dissent-laden. How else
could things possibly turn out?
4. A person who says, "Sorry, I had to point that out to you" is
always telling two lies. Ditto for "Sorry, I couldn't pass this
up." "I see your point but...." usually means the opposite.
5. When a fool posts deliberate flame bait, he/she has absolutely
no influence over whether he/she succeeds. You do.
6. It is easy to patronize the author of the post in which you
agree. It is equally as easy for the author to patronize you back.
This can go on for weeks on end.
Corollary: You will look clever to the people who already agree
with you and like a fool to the rest.
Second Corollary: If you post to a newsgroup to which you are new
and someone patronizes you, that can also go on for weeks on end.
7. If you feel you know something funny or clever or wise, you
may decide to post it here. Please keep in mind, you are the
4,000th person to do so.
8. If you hate or love something, there is a newsgroup where
people are discussing it. Abortion, Republicans, eating meat,
tattooing, worship, bondage, whatever. You will be tempted to
appear on that newsgroup and point out to everyone the error of
their ways. Please keep in mind that you are the 4,000th person to
do so.
9. Every newsgroup has a 'hall monitor' who senses it is his/her
job to monitor what goes on in the newsgroup. Bear in mind that
Usenet has survived all these attempts of censorship and control.
10. You, personally, are a unique, exciting, vibrant,
intelligent, wise, and self effacing individual with a great deal
to contribute to the newsgroups you select on the Net. So is every
other schmuck who posts. Get over it.
11. The demise of this newsgroup and the Net is imminent--and
always will be.
12. Internet gurus on a specific topic are a dime a dozen. It is
the people who don't know much who are rare.
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