Abuse recovery - It's My Life

Author

It's My Life

William Blake Jr.

2006-11-07, 4:32 pm

To take responsibility for one's life, one must figure out first what
kind of life one is to live.

And one does not know what he wants, or what kind of life he wants to
live, until he finds it.

The process involved exploration; it also involves leaving all that is
familiar. And not only do I recognize it to have been right for me to
do so, but I will insist absolutely on the right of every next person
to do the same.

For as long as I was in America, I felt trapped, because I was brought
there at age 12 without my approval. So no matter how good my life was,
I felt that it was not my own, and I could not take responsibility for
it, precisely because it was not mine.

I came to America with very strong ethics and very strong ambition. I
watched it all eroded from me and torn to pieces by people acting from
cruelty and hypocrisy, and then to add insult to injury claiming that
they were morally rightful and that I was not.

The place became more and more ensnaring, oppressive, malicious and
hypocritical, and its claims of liberty and justice became more and
more hollow as time went on. The context totalitarianism - the mindset
that formulates people's thoughts, perceptions, values and wishes, and
is horrendously cruel to anyone with mindset that's any different from
it - then sets people thus formulated to compete against one another
and calls that liberty as their minds, bludgeoned into perpetuation of
the same psychic fallacy, manifest it through the mechanism of
context-controlled will into representation of the aforementioned
fallacy and calls it reality or commonsense or normalcy or sanity or
any one of multiplicity of falsehoods that it is not - became more and
more ensnaring; more and more abusive; more and more totalitarian and
absolute. America's claims of liberty became more and more hollow and
obviously untruthful. And I busied myself with deconstructing this
context con in all its multitudinous manifestations, in order that the
Gordian knot ensnaring the soul be untied for good, and the soul can
live.

And then - the entirely unexpected.

What I wanted found me, and I've taken the leap of faith.

To another continent, and into the arms of my beloved.

And out of the context con, both physically and mentally at the same
time.

And then I finally knew what life I wanted to live.

And in the process of taking responsibility for this choice, I've had a
crash course in life. I've had to learn to:

Admit my mistakes
Be considerate of people around me
Be self-controlled and composed
Pay attention to my surroundings
Change my views on a number of subjects
Get rid of all kinds of judgment
Learn tolerance and patience
Think constantly about the good of the next person
Leave every emotional, intellectual or spiritual comfort zone I've ever
had and risk all kinds of possible damage in order to be close to the
person I love.

I would not learn any such things while I was in America, because my
being in America was not my choice. But where I am now is entirely my
choice, and I am taking responsibility for it.

So I'm having a lot of adjustment to make, but it's worth it.

It's my life.

Ilya Shambat
http://ibshambat.blogspot.com

Cujo DeSockpuppet

2006-11-07, 4:32 pm

Ilya "Wankboi" Shambat, convicted criminal, confessed wanker and all around
pustulent XXXXsnot who abandons cats, evades responsibility for his actions
and was fired from Oracle for posting to Usenet during work hours with his
former employers IP in his headers like a complete XXXXwit, socked up as
"William Blake Jr." <ibshambat@hotmail.com> and screeded more crap in
news:1162274043.814866.43840@m7g2000cwm.googlegroups.com:

> To take responsibility for one's

wanking is beyond a sociopathic predator like Ilya "Wankboi" Scumbat.

[Edited for accuracy.]

[Wankboi's self-serving trolling for victims flushed]

--
Cujo - The Official Overseer of Kooks and Trolls in
dfw.*, alt.paranormal, alt.astrology and alt.astrology.metapsych.
Winner of the 8/2000 & 2/2003 HL&S award & July 2005 Hammer of Thor.
Colonel of the Fanatic Legion. FL# 555-PLNTY Motto: ABUNDANCE!.
Supreme Holy Overlord of alt.XXXXnozzles. Hail Petitmorte!
"I can see why you have difficulty understanding why I am a babe
magnet" - Edmo understates the facts.

Stew Dent

2006-11-07, 4:32 pm

'It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...'

William Blake Jr. wrote:
> To take responsibility for one's life, one must figure out first what
> kind of life one is to live.

Something like that.

> For as long as I was in America, I felt trapped, because I was brought
> there at age 12 without my approval. So no matter how good my life was,
> I felt that it was not my own, and I could not take responsibility for
> it, precisely because it was not mine.

Ah.

> The place became more and more ensnaring, oppressive, malicious and
> hypocritical, and its claims of liberty and justice became more and
> more hollow as time went on. The context totalitarianism - the mindset
> that formulates people's thoughts, perceptions, values and wishes, and
> is horrendously cruel to anyone with mindset that's any different from
> it - then sets people thus formulated to compete against one another
> and calls that liberty as their minds, bludgeoned into perpetuation of
> the same psychic fallacy, manifest it through the mechanism of
> context-controlled will into representation of the aforementioned
> fallacy and calls it reality or commonsense or normalcy or sanity or
> any one of multiplicity of falsehoods that it is not - became more and
> more ensnaring; more and more abusive; more and more totalitarian and
> absolute. America's claims of liberty became more and more hollow and
> obviously untruthful. And I busied myself with deconstructing this
> context con in all its multitudinous manifestations, in order that the
> Gordian knot ensnaring the soul be untied for good, and the soul can
> live.

Or maybe it's just you.

> And then - the entirely unexpected.
> What I wanted found me, and I've taken the leap of faith.
> To another continent, and into the arms of my beloved.
> And out of the context con, both physically and mentally at the same
> time.
> And then I finally knew what life I wanted to live.

YAY! Groovy.

> And in the process of taking responsibility for this choice, I've had a
> crash course in life. I've had to learn to:
> Admit my mistakes
> Be considerate of people around me
> Be self-controlled and composed
> Pay attention to my surroundings
> Change my views on a number of subjects
> Get rid of all kinds of judgment
> Learn tolerance and patience
> Think constantly about the good of the next person
> Leave every emotional, intellectual or spiritual comfort zone I've ever
> had and risk all kinds of possible damage in order to be close to the
> person I love.

Gotta start sometime.

> So I'm having a lot of adjustment to make, but it's worth it.

Congrats.

max
['Good luck.']

William Blake Jr.

2006-11-07, 4:32 pm

Thank you, and best wishes to you.

Stew Dent wrote:
> Congrats.
>
> max
> ['Good luck.']