| Alan B. Mac Farlane 2005-08-21, 11:47 am |
| Hey guys ... found this at an Al-Anon meeting.
ANGER
IS a response, an assertion of self, an intuitife gut reaction. Physically
healthy, always appropriate, a source of discovery - to know self and
boundaries better. PROMOTES emotional closeness, exposing vulnerability,
energy, self-respect, risking, vitality, sexiness.
(Anger is NOT blaming, sarcasm, violence, outrage, viciousness, contempt,
offense, sadism, aggressiveness, hostility, punitiveness, manipulation, or
vindictiveness. These are control oriented.)
GIVING THE HEAT.
1. Be aware of COMMITMENT to other.
2. Be clear about what you want.
3. Start with "I" not you.
4. No name calling, no put-downs.
5. No interpretations.
6. No interruptions.
7. No interrogations.
TAKING THE HEAT.
1. Listen.
2. Don't defend.
3. Refuse to be dumped upon.
4. Own your own mistakes, no groveling.
(you goofed because you are human)
5. Apologize without self- deprecation.
6. Eliminate taking punishment.
7. Get equal in size for eye contact.
PRACTICE - Start in safe areas.
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