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| Panther 2005-10-13, 12:50 pm |
| How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
etc
I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
post' LOL
Panther
| |
|
| I'm not sure. I think I was searching google? It was after TOL and I
needed a place to get my head together.
On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 13:48:33 -0400, "Panther"
<panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
>etc
>
>I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
>post' LOL
>
>Panther
>
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
| Panther 2005-10-13, 5:51 pm |
| What's TOL?
I always wondered what happened to Elliott. He was pretty depressed and
suicidal.
Panther
"Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
news:om9tk19u9jpgkslr4he0aitc7u9igad5ne@4ax.com...
> I'm not sure. I think I was searching google? It was after TOL and I
> needed a place to get my head together.
>
> On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 13:48:33 -0400, "Panther"
> <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
>
> ~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't
> improve before I say it ~*~
| |
|
|
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you
searching
> etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
averti brought me here. 
Jean
>
> Panther
>
>
| |
| GlasshouseJohn 2005-10-13, 5:51 pm |
| "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you
> searching etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
>
> Panther
I suffered as a youngster and when I got my (this one) computer and got
broadband I could afford the time to read newsgroups so did a search of them
using OE
--
Regards
John Hopkins
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adver...-n-spotlighting
| |
| Panther 2005-10-13, 5:51 pm |
|
"Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:hoOdna5xwOM9M9PeRVn-gA@rogers.com...
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
> news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
> searching
>
> averti brought me here.
>
> Jean
>
Where did you meet him from? I miss averti. He was darn sharp!
Guess what! I sold $350 in gemstones the day before yesterday. One of the
shops in the area and she's going to make jewelry from them. She's quite an
enthusiastic person, very bubbly. We got along great!! Andy was estatic
LOL
Panther[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
| |
|
| On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:37:04 -0400, "Panther"
<panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>What's TOL?
Time On Line. The Sherrie crap.
>I always wondered what happened to Elliott. He was pretty depressed and
>suicidal.
Who was Elliott?
>Panther
>
>
>"Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
>news:om9tk19u9jpgkslr4he0aitc7u9igad5ne@4ax.com...
>
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
| Panther 2005-10-13, 5:51 pm |
|
"Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
news:f9dtk1tp9ro56ifpdnege4qotpbkc2l0qe@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:37:04 -0400, "Panther"
> <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
> Time On Line. The Sherrie crap.
Ah yes.
>
>
> Who was Elliott?
I think he posted under the nick El or Ellen but sometimes evenes. I don't
remember where I came across him I was very new online. He gave me a lot on
info on computer stuff, doing websites html and some advice on when my
computer crashed. I don't know whatever happened to him. I met him once in
RL, he was from the east coast.
Panther
>
>
>
> ~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't
> improve before I say it ~*~
| |
| Panther 2005-10-13, 5:51 pm |
|
"GlasshouseJohn" <glasshousejohn@britanniabear.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:dimbs3$4od$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk...
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
> news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
>
> I suffered as a youngster and when I got my (this one) computer and got
> broadband I could afford the time to read newsgroups so did a search of
> them using OE
>
> --
> Regards
> John Hopkins
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adver...-n-spotlighting
>
I don't think I'd have even thought to look up newsgroups. I didn't have a
clue as to how it all worked. I did do my first website by the time I was
online for three months :-) I think that might have been back in December
of 92. Seems that shortly after I got my computer for school I got online.
Who do you remember from back then?
Panther
| |
| Kaitlyn 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
| On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 13:48:33 -0400, "Panther"
<panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
>etc
>
>I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
>post' LOL
>
>Panther
I found it through the ASAR, and I found ASAR through ASD (D for
Dissociation, not Depression) and I found them through a friend on
Delphi ( I wonder if delphi is even around anymore). That was over 10
years ago now. I'm simply amazed at times to think that in one form
or another I've been "online" for 13 years, let alone 10 years here.
| |
| Panther 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
|
"Kaitlyn" <ktlynkait@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:a8rtk19csqq53325a5f6vp6lp2epu0duvi@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 13:48:33 -0400, "Panther"
> <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
> I found it through the ASAR, and I found ASAR through ASD (D for
> Dissociation, not Depression) and I found them through a friend on
> Delphi ( I wonder if delphi is even around anymore). That was over 10
> years ago now. I'm simply amazed at times to think that in one form
> or another I've been "online" for 13 years, let alone 10 years here.
>
God I know what you mean. Time just flies!! I hadn't heard of delphi. Had
you met that person on line or did you know some people who used the
internet? I didn't know anyone who knew the internet so I was pretty much
on my own.
Panther
| |
| Kaitlyn 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
| On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:09:34 -0400, "Panther"
<panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>"Kaitlyn" <ktlynkait@gmail.com> wrote in message
>news:a8rtk19csqq53325a5f6vp6lp2epu0duvi@4ax.com...
>
>God I know what you mean. Time just flies!! I hadn't heard of delphi. Had
>you met that person on line or did you know some people who used the
>internet? I didn't know anyone who knew the internet so I was pretty much
>on my own.
>
>Panther
I got my first computer in late 92. I started out on Prodigy it came
with the computer. They were not connected to the internet at that
time, so my friends because prodigy people. Then prodigy decided to
up their prices and there was a mass exicidos from there. The friends
I made on prodigy and I found a place called NVN (Texas Video Network)
which also was not connected to the internet. Then they went bankrupt
and we moved (plus new friends added to the old list) to Delphi it was
about half way through my membership with Delphi that they linked up
with the internet. My friend told me about ASD and how to get there.
I'm still friends with two of the people I met on NVN in 93. I've
lost track with the rest of them. I knew no one in "real life" who
was into the internet or even computers really.
Believe me once I found some place where you could go and talk to
people without having to leave your house I was one happy camper. I
hated going out to meet people, still do as you and Andy know.
| |
| Panther 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
|
"Kaitlyn" <ktlynkait@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:fputk1tkca5uoh9olvs6rhsvkfq5npeadf@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:09:34 -0400, "Panther"
> <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
> I got my first computer in late 92. I started out on Prodigy it came
> with the computer. They were not connected to the internet at that
> time, so my friends because prodigy people. Then prodigy decided to
> up their prices and there was a mass exicidos from there. The friends
> I made on prodigy and I found a place called NVN (Texas Video Network)
> which also was not connected to the internet. Then they went bankrupt
> and we moved (plus new friends added to the old list) to Delphi it was
> about half way through my membership with Delphi that they linked up
> with the internet. My friend told me about ASD and how to get there.
>
I guess I'm confused here. How could you talk it you weren't connected???
I can only remember one place that seemed to be more or less free. (juno)
But I think after a month you had to pay but I'm not sure if my memory is
serving me right. Generally I just used it to connect when I couldn't get a
sover.net connection or if I was away from sover.net and wanted to connect.
> I'm still friends with two of the people I met on NVN in 93. I've
> lost track with the rest of them. I knew no one in "real life" who
> was into the internet or even computers really.
>
> Believe me once I found some place where you could go and talk to
> people without having to leave your house I was one happy camper. I
> hated going out to meet people, still do as you and Andy know.
>
I think it really helped me. I'm much less shy now.
Panther
| |
| Kaitlyn 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
| On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:45:55 -0400, "Panther"
<panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>"Kaitlyn" <ktlynkait@gmail.com> wrote in message
>news:fputk1tkca5uoh9olvs6rhsvkfq5npeadf@4ax.com...
>
>
>I guess I'm confused here. How could you talk it you weren't connected???
Back in the days I had those providers they were not connceted to the
INTERNET. Prodigy was just it's own server and you could only talk to
other people who were members of Prodigy. I don't remember if AOL was
around back then, but if they were you could only talk to other people
who were members of AOL.
OK like now. You have asarian-intl. Someone else has earthlink.
Another charterpipeline, another aol. Back then they didn't have the
interface to connect to each other like we do now. So you only talked
to people who were using the same provider you had. I'm not sure
I'm explaining this correctly.
It wasn't until all the providers started connection to each other
that you could talk to someone from AOL when you were on Prodigy.
>I can only remember one place that seemed to be more or less free. (juno)
>But I think after a month you had to pay but I'm not sure if my memory is
>serving me right. Generally I just used it to connect when I couldn't get a
>sover.net connection or if I was away from sover.net and wanted to connect.
>
>
>
>I think it really helped me. I'm much less shy now.
>
>Panther
>
| |
| Panther 2005-10-14, 12:52 am |
|
"Kaitlyn" <ktlynkait@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:fc4uk15rbij6mnp0o8antbdnl82p62ehdt@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:45:55 -0400, "Panther"
> <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
> Back in the days I had those providers they were not connceted to the
> INTERNET. Prodigy was just it's own server and you could only talk to
> other people who were members of Prodigy. I don't remember if AOL was
> around back then, but if they were you could only talk to other people
> who were members of AOL.
>
> OK like now. You have asarian-intl. Someone else has earthlink.
> Another charterpipeline, another aol. Back then they didn't have the
> interface to connect to each other like we do now. So you only talked
> to people who were using the same provider you had. I'm not sure
> I'm explaining this correctly.
>
Yes I know what you mean now. Actually when it comes to irc their isn't a
connection to efnet and such. That just remains with my server. I like
that because you don't get those damn messages all the time from ppl
trolling!!!
> It wasn't until all the providers started connection to each other
> that you could talk to someone from AOL when you were on Prodigy.
>
I'm thinking AOL may have come on just after we did. I don't remember them
being big but I'm not sure.
>
>
>
>
>
| |
| 2creus 2005-10-15, 12:51 am |
| In article <dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net>,
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
> etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
>
> Panther
>
>
many nicks ago (96/97) i manually searched thru my isp's newsgroups. abuse
was the first one i came to in the alphabet in .alt. then sexual abuse and
then alt.support....
i knew no one online at the time. it was my first computer & a year or 2
after my divorce, i got online.
i don't believe i posted a heck of a lot and was totally naive and probably
disappeared right after.
linda
| |
| Panther 2005-10-15, 12:52 am |
|
"2creus" <2crsspam@stnx.chrter.net> wrote in message
news:hFW3f.9837$nE2.2134@fe03.lga...
> In article <dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net>,
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
> many nicks ago (96/97) i manually searched thru my isp's newsgroups.
> abuse
> was the first one i came to in the alphabet in .alt. then sexual abuse
> and
> then alt.support....
>
> i knew no one online at the time. it was my first computer & a year or 2
> after my divorce, i got online.
>
> i don't believe i posted a heck of a lot and was totally naive and
> probably
> disappeared right after.
>
> linda
Did you read for a while before you posted to them?
Panther
| |
| 2creus 2005-10-15, 5:56 pm |
| In article <dipgp3$3ds$0@pita.alt.net>,
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
> "2creus" <2crsspam@stnx.chrter.net> wrote in message
> news:hFW3f.9837$nE2.2134@fe03.lga...
>
> Did you read for a while before you posted to them?
>
> Panther
>
>
no, i think i poured out my heart right off. poor boundaries and all that.
i also posted in the suicide.holiday ng a lot back then but i'm not sure
which came first. and the depression group. some people were nice and some
were cruel and i think i went silent for a while then. it's a long time ago
so i could be off on the timeline. if memory serves, i didn't even have a
regular isp either. i was using the first class bbs that my mac users group
had for us. they had newsgroups listed in that part of the server for the
first class software. i was so stupid, i think i may have even used my real
name for a while because that was the only way we could have an email thru
them. (each mug member was given an email addy but it included our names)
that probably lasted the better part of a year before we got smart and got
ourselves an isp and lots of different nicks. duffus, moody, im2creus and
who knows what else.
do you remember me before we started working on asarm?
| |
| Panther 2005-10-16, 10:52 am |
|
"2creus" <2crsspam@stnx.chrter.net> wrote in message
news:RFe4f.6084$lN2.3276@fe04.lga...
> In article <dipgp3$3ds$0@pita.alt.net>,
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
> no, i think i poured out my heart right off. poor boundaries and all
> that.
> i also posted in the suicide.holiday ng a lot back then but i'm not sure
> which came first. and the depression group.
I think that poor boundaries comes with the territory of recovery. I
remember that I heard that the Christmas holidays were a biggie
depression/suicide wise. I had just gotten on the internet about two weeks
before Christmas. I remember sitting there and trying to bring a bit of
cheer. I had started lurking in aar and I think that's what prompted me to
post finally.
some people were nice and some
> were cruel and i think i went silent for a while then. it's a long time
> ago
> so i could be off on the timeline.
Was that around the time that asarm had an irc chat room and people were
starting to fight with each other a real lot?
if memory serves, i didn't even have a
> regular isp either. i was using the first class bbs that my mac users
> group
> had for us. they had newsgroups listed in that part of the server for the
> first class software. i was so stupid, i think i may have even used my
> real
> name for a while because that was the only way we could have an email thru
> them. (each mug member was given an email addy but it included our names)
> that probably lasted the better part of a year before we got smart and
> got
> ourselves an isp and lots of different nicks. duffus, moody, im2creus and
> who knows what else.
> do you remember me before we started working on asarm?
Yes I think I remember you as 2creus, I don't think I posted a lot in asarm
for quite a while (same with asd). I did enjoy working on the moderation
stuff though. Too bad the group hasn't worked out.
Panther
| |
| furrystripey 2005-10-16, 5:50 pm |
|
Panther wrote:
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
> etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
>
> Panther
Hiya Pnather! LTNS
I was at asar, and I honestly can't remember how I found them. I think
I looked it up. I had a university account, back in 92 or 93. I spent
hours after work reading asar in tin. I remember getting so excited
when I could read news in a window (eudora? did eudora do news?)(maybe
it was a special program that the uni had).
Anyway, I knew about aar from Wednesday, I believe, and prolly averti
too. (I met him in rl once. he was as wonderful there as was online.)
When asar got flooded with the sexual spam, I spent more time here.
When my recovery was such that I wasn't so fragile, I spent more time
here.
I miss the early days. I loved when irc was mostly troll free. I
actually met a guy online who had bid to do the graphic from which my
nick was taken. It was an ad for Anderson Consulting in the Wall
Street Journal. Back then you could meet intelligent, interesting
people at random. Now, if you want to chat with like minded people,
you have to know where you're going (or be prepared to spend hours
weeding through idiots and still maybe find no one interesting to talk
to).
I hated when september became endless, and there became more than
efnet, and asar got flooded with sex ads.
But y'all are still here, and I like that. It's odd, that this place
should be one of continuity in my life.
thanks for asking, nice trip down memory lane
tb
| |
| Panther 2005-10-17, 12:50 am |
|
"furrystripey" <furrystripey469@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1129490300.246516.305580@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Panther wrote:
>
> Hiya Pnather! LTNS
>
Yeah how are ya??? :-)
> I was at asar, and I honestly can't remember how I found them. I think
> I looked it up. I had a university account, back in 92 or 93. I spent
> hours after work reading asar in tin. I remember getting so excited
> when I could read news in a window (eudora? did eudora do news?)(maybe
> it was a special program that the uni had).
>
Fortunately I didn't learn on unix in college and had windows :-)
> Anyway, I knew about aar from Wednesday, I believe, and prolly averti
> too. (I met him in rl once. he was as wonderful there as was online.)
> When asar got flooded with the sexual spam, I spent more time here.
> When my recovery was such that I wasn't so fragile, I spent more time
> here.
>
I didn't realize you had met him in RL. I don't think I knew you back when
I first lurked in asar
> I miss the early days. I loved when irc was mostly troll free. I
> actually met a guy online who had bid to do the graphic from which my
> nick was taken. It was an ad for Anderson Consulting in the Wall
> Street Journal. Back then you could meet intelligent, interesting
> people at random. Now, if you want to chat with like minded people,
> you have to know where you're going (or be prepared to spend hours
> weeding through idiots and still maybe find no one interesting to talk
> to).
>
I have to admit I've met some pretty interesting people over the years. :-)
> I hated when september became endless, and there became more than
> efnet, and asar got flooded with sex ads.
>
I don't understand what you mean by september became endless???
> But y'all are still here, and I like that. It's odd, that this place
> should be one of continuity in my life.
>
> thanks for asking, nice trip down memory lane
What are you doing with your life these days?
Panther
> tb
>
| |
| furrystripey 2005-10-17, 10:51 am |
|
Panther wrote:
> "furrystripey" wrote in message
> news:1129490300.246516.305580@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Yeah how are ya??? :-)
see more below!
>
> Fortunately I didn't learn on unix in college and had windows :-)
>
>
> I didn't realize you had met him in RL. I don't think I knew you back when
> I first lurked in asar
I think it must've been before the memorial service, but honestly, I
can't remember. He sort of disappeared after. He didn't go to that.
I met tons of other folks there. Speaking of whom, do you ever speak
to our old shiny-headed guy? The last time I saw him, he had a big
head of hair! That was a strange sight. He was driving about
California, and we met at a pancake house. I think that was 2000 or
later.
>
> I have to admit I've met some pretty interesting people over the years. :-)
>
>
> I don't understand what you mean by september became endless???
Back in the day, every September, all the new freshman would come to
school. All the folks who had been on the net, had to school
eveyrbunny in netiquette and tolerate all the stupid newbie things that
newbies do. Eventually, the freshman would get the hang of it, and
all was normal.
The year that aol came online was referred to as the September that
never ended. (wiki says it was 1993)(here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September
)
>
> What are you doing with your life these days?
Oh, not much that's different. Broke up with stupid boyfriend in June
- I think I wrote about it here. Am now dating his best friend. Irony
is sweet revenge. The three of us were friends, and he was who I
called the night I found another woman in previous boyfriend's home.
He talked me through the breakup, and made me laugh. At some point
(and I wish I could remember when, but I can't) it turned from
'he's-helping-me' to 'hey-he's-cute'.
One thing I was so sad about was that the three of us had really good
fun together, and I thought I'd never have that again (because of the
break-up). Then we got romantic, and I thought I'd never have it again
because it would be weird. Well, it is weird, but we've been out
together twice now, and it was fun. Um, and did I mention he's even
younger than the previous one? Lil scary, here, lil scary.
I still work for the stupid state and hate it. Love my girlz though.
I work with the best bunch of people. It's a big love fest most of the
time.
I'm still training to do this other thing. I hope eventually to be
able to do this and quit the state. I will be able to work on the
phone from ANYwhere, and I'll be able to help people.
Fibromyalgia's been kicking my XXX lately. I think it's the State.
Hard to tell. I did lost twenty pounds in August, that was fun. Ann
Louise Gittelman, Fast Track DeTox Diet - all organic, no crap (and
pretty much no carbs). I started it so I could be skinny and go nyah,
nyah to the ex. But I felt so much better, I kept at it.
Are you still happy up there in the frozen north? I need to check out
your website..........
thanks for asking! (Guess I had more to say than I thought)
tb
| |
| Alan B. Mac Farlane 2005-10-17, 10:51 am |
| stumbled upon it on the download listing of newgroups to hook up with ...
60,000 of them by alphabet downscroll.
Found it ... came in with my Beast 666 posting and for reasons deep in the
unconscious ... Buff was very hurt by this and decided I was the problem.
Other people got it and she did not.
I did not lurk any ... did not have a need to.
Figured the truth of the matter would set things straight and what goes up
goes up and what goes down - goes down.
Seem to have something in me that works as a healer like this on all people
through all my life.
My defense structure made me this way ... ya know.
sumbuddie has to live with it more then you; and find a way to make a happy
life with it.
alan
 )
in article dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net, Panther at panther@asarian-intl.org
wrote on 10/13/05 10:48 AM:
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you searching
> etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
>
> Panther
| |
| 2creus 2005-10-20, 5:57 pm |
| In article <dissiq$b15$0@pita.alt.net>,
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
> "2creus" <2crsspam@stnx.chrter.net> wrote in message
> news:RFe4f.6084$lN2.3276@fe04.lga...
>
> I think that poor boundaries comes with the territory of recovery. I
> remember that I heard that the Christmas holidays were a biggie
> depression/suicide wise. I had just gotten on the internet about two weeks
> before Christmas. I remember sitting there and trying to bring a bit of
> cheer. I had started lurking in aar and I think that's what prompted me to
> post finally.
>
yeah, holidays are the pits.
do they get to you now?
>
>
> some people were nice and some
>
> Was that around the time that asarm had an irc chat room and people were
> starting to fight with each other a real lot?
>
no it was years before we created asarm. asar was also where i posted,
rarely. i remember ice angel (geode) was nice to me. that's about all i
remember now though.
>
>
> if memory serves, i didn't even have a
>
>
> Yes I think I remember you as 2creus, I don't think I posted a lot in asarm
> for quite a while (same with asd). I did enjoy working on the moderation
> stuff though. Too bad the group hasn't worked out.
>
> Panther
>
yes, the spam in the bot is getting more and more now. i am afraid he's
getting fed up. i guess it served it's purpose during it's time which is
now past. i feel for the newbies though. i remember i was a lot more thin
skinned back then. still am compared to some others. ah well...
| |
| tribble 2005-10-24, 1:02 am |
| oh my gosh. i was first on asar. i was such a fraidy cat back then. i
remember going on irc the first time and there being about 10 people there.
i was so terrified and the screen moved so quickly, and then i got a sex
spam and i imploded.
shit, that was 10 years ago this past june.
wow. i sure have come a long way since then.
| |
| Panther 2005-10-24, 1:02 am |
| LOL you sure have!!
I'm going to email you shortly. I have a few things to go over with you.
Panther
"tribble" <epona1@sasktel.net> wrote in message
news:11lm77mgb0df8d9@corp.supernews.com...
> oh my gosh. i was first on asar. i was such a fraidy cat back then. i
> remember going on irc the first time and there being about 10 people
> there.
> i was so terrified and the screen moved so quickly, and then i got a sex
> spam and i imploded.
>
> shit, that was 10 years ago this past june.
>
> wow. i sure have come a long way since then.
>
>
| |
| Jonathan Bannister 2005-10-27, 5:55 pm |
| Do you remember the first time you orgasmed? My first time was with my
mother stroking my back, bottom and testicles while I lay on the couch when
I was 7. I came and she kept stimulating me until I came again, and again,
and again. I can't remember how many times. My sister was masturbating
while watching, and my dad would come in from working and laugh, asking how
many times? My mother sucking on me, my sister bending over, only years
later did I realize the depths of her despair. My dad frigging me, caressing
my hair while I sucked on him, telling me what a good boy I was, my sister
showing me her vagina, asking me if I thought she was getting bigger.
How about the collection of pornography my dad shared with my sister and I,
the matching dildos given to my sister (12) and my mom for Christmas? The
sexually charged household that set me up for on-going rapes and my raping
of others, for which I remain tearfully regretful? It was all part of how
families "love each other."
Oh God, I'm so sorry.
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
> How you first came upon aar? Who mentioned it to you or were you
> searching etc
>
> I remember it was evenes (Elliott Venes). He said 'lurk awhile before you
> post' LOL
>
> Panther
>
| |
| Panther 2005-10-27, 5:55 pm |
| It is how offenders 'groom' their children. This type of grooming carries
with it a severe sense of shame and guilt. It's also why the sexual abuse
often becomes generational.
I'm thinking you are in the very early stages of the recovery process. It
is a real spagetti pot of feelings and memories and I think the most
difficult time. I am assuming from what you have said that you were
initiated into this and were used to initiate other children? I am also
assuming that you are not doing that now and causing victims. If you are
then you have to stop and get help for that first and then deal with the
issues of having been a victim. You may also want to get help if you are
having difficulties with feelings of wanting to create more victims. If
this isn't the case than part of the recovery process is being able to
identify the areas that you were not responsible for and letting go of the
guilt and shame that might be surrounding those areas.
Best,
Panther
"Jonathan Bannister" <wjbannister@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:9502f$4360b444$477164b2$20755@allthenewsgroups.com...
> Do you remember the first time you orgasmed? My first time was with my
> mother stroking my back, bottom and testicles while I lay on the couch
> when I was 7. I came and she kept stimulating me until I came again, and
> again, and again. I can't remember how many times. My sister was
> masturbating while watching, and my dad would come in from working and
> laugh, asking how many times? My mother sucking on me, my sister bending
> over, only years later did I realize the depths of her despair. My dad
> frigging me, caressing my hair while I sucked on him, telling me what a
> good boy I was, my sister showing me her vagina, asking me if I thought
> she was getting bigger.
>
> How about the collection of pornography my dad shared with my sister and
> I, the matching dildos given to my sister (12) and my mom for Christmas?
> The sexually charged household that set me up for on-going rapes and my
> raping of others, for which I remain tearfully regretful? It was all part
> of how families "love each other."
>
> Oh God, I'm so sorry.
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
> news:dim6lf$fbb$0@pita.alt.net...
>
>
| |
| Eric Cordian 2005-10-27, 5:55 pm |
| Jonathan Bannister <wjbannister@verizon.net> wrote:
> Do you remember the first time you orgasmed? My first time was with my
> mother stroking my back, bottom and testicles while I lay on the couch when
> I was 7. I came and she kept stimulating me until I came again, and again,
> and again. I can't remember how many times. My sister was masturbating
> while watching, and my dad would come in from working and laugh, asking how
> many times? My mother sucking on me, my sister bending over, only years
> later did I realize the depths of her despair. My dad frigging me, caressing
> my hair while I sucked on him, telling me what a good boy I was, my sister
> showing me her vagina, asking me if I thought she was getting bigger.
> How about the collection of pornography my dad shared with my sister and I,
> the matching dildos given to my sister (12) and my mom for Christmas? The
> sexually charged household that set me up for on-going rapes and my raping
> of others, for which I remain tearfully regretful? It was all part of how
> families "love each other."
> Oh God, I'm so sorry.
Sexual openness in families is a continuum, ranging from total prudery to
wild Hedonistic abandon. Obviously yours was off the scale on the latter,
but feeling guilty and invoking a fictional diety is counter-productive
after the fact.
You should determine your own values and boundaries which hopefully will
be some reasonable position between the two extremes, and recognize the
meaning of the old saying...
"There is nothing more dangerous than a convert."
You've related a lot of facts in your scenario, and you need to divide
them into categories like "harmful," "illegal," and "within the discretion
of individual families" before seeing the light, publicly flagellating
yourself, and embarking upon a mission.
--
Eric Michael Cordian 0+
O:.T:.O:. Mathematical Munitions Division
"Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law"
| |
|
| On 27 Oct 2005 16:01:50 GMT, Eric Cordian
<emc@artifact.psychedelic.net> wrote:
>You've related a lot of facts in your scenario, and you need to divide
>them into categories like "harmful," "illegal," and "within the discretion
>of individual families" before seeing the light, publicly flagellating
>yourself, and embarking upon a mission.
Get help.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
| Eric Cordian 2005-10-27, 5:55 pm |
| Liz <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote:
> Get help.
Now now. You're the certifiable one, not I.
Don't you have an urgent appointment to bark at the moon, get a free
pelvic exam at Rite Aid, or something?
--
Eric Michael Cordian 0+
O:.T:.O:. Mathematical Munitions Division
"Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law"
| |
|
| "Eric Cordian" <emc@artifact.psychedelic.net> wrote in message
news:4360f9ee$0$10625$a726171b@news.hal-pc.org...
> You've related a lot of facts in your scenario, and you need to divide
> them into categories like "harmful," "illegal," and "within the discretion
> of individual families" before seeing the light, publicly flagellating
> yourself, and embarking upon a mission.
you'll probably get a fatwa put on you for this post, but i agree with you.
especially on the need to divide things between harmful and not harmful. it
was a crucial point for me. if i'd believed everything the sexual abuse
recovery industry told me i'd been hurt by, and if i hadn't made my
independent discoveries of relatively innocuous-seeming things i'd really
been hurt by, and equally important, the really horrible-seeming things that
i hadn't, i would have been stuck in the "process" forever. getting trapped
there is as insidious in its way as the abuse itself. i think it can be
even more damaging.
if nothing else, blaming a monumental package of personality issues and
antisocial/sociopathic behavior on early sexualization should twig every
intelligent person to the thought, "wait a minute, this is a little too
easy."
so should the fact that not everyone who has the issues and behavior has
early sexualization to blame it on.
but the fact that the early sexualization and the issues/behavior often go
hand in hand might lead us to usefully explore the underlying factors that
predisposed us to both, without concluding that the early sexualization was
in itself causative or necessarily bad. that was the path that eventually
led me to answers about myself that i'm satisfied with.
all doctrine is inherently suspect.
| |
|
| On 27 Oct 2005 16:41:05 GMT, Eric Cordian
<emc@artifact.psychedelic.net> wrote:
>Liz <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote:
>
>
>Now now. You're the certifiable one, not I.
>
>Don't you have an urgent appointment to bark at the moon, get a free
>pelvic exam at Rite Aid, or something?
Unfortunately, the moon is waning and won't be full again till 11-16.
The good news is that by then, we'll have fallen back and earned
another hour. I don't need another pelvic for nine months but the
last one was aok and you should get help.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
|
| On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 14:48:28 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>"Eric Cordian" <emc@artifact.psychedelic.net> wrote in message
>news:4360f9ee$0$10625$a726171b@news.hal-pc.org...
>
>you'll probably get a fatwa put on you for this post, but i agree with you.
Memo to self - Jihad on Eric.
Ok, what in that post - assuming it's not all made up (and you have to
wonder) - would fall into which categories?
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
| hornpipe 2005-10-29, 10:57 am |
| On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:58:29 GMT, Liz <isnexttogodly@heaven.net>
wrote:
>On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 14:48:28 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>Memo to self - Jihad on Eric.
>
>Ok, what in that post - assuming it's not all made up (and you have to
>wonder) - would fall into which categories?
>
assuming it's not just bad prose, it might depend on nuance. like if
his dad bought the set of matching dildos at a reputable dealer then
if she didn't like it maybe his 12yr old sister could always return
her share of the gift for a barbie dressup or something. without
knowing those little details how can anyone judge?
--
hornpipe
| |
|
|
"hornpipe" <hornpipe@gaia.org.invalid> wrote in message
news:68o2m11phnjo2f087rcs2o8l2c8re7pofb@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:58:29 GMT, Liz <isnexttogodly@heaven.net>
> wrote:
>
discretion[vbcol=seagreen]
you.[vbcol=seagreen]
>
> assuming it's not just bad prose, it might depend on nuance. like if
> his dad bought the set of matching dildos at a reputable dealer then
> if she didn't like it maybe his 12yr old sister could always return
> her share of the gift for a barbie dressup or something. without
> knowing those little details how can anyone judge?
This is where I say how "sad" and "ugly" this newsgroup has become.
In between laughing like the idiot I am, of course.
Jean
> --
> hornpipe
| |
|
| "hornpipe" <hornpipe@gaia.org.invalid> wrote in message
news:68o2m11phnjo2f087rcs2o8l2c8re7pofb@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:58:29 GMT, Liz <isnexttogodly@heaven.net>
> wrote:
>
>
> assuming it's not just bad prose, it might depend on nuance. like if
> his dad bought the set of matching dildos at a reputable dealer then
> if she didn't like it maybe his 12yr old sister could always return
> her share of the gift for a barbie dressup or something. without
> knowing those little details how can anyone judge?
know that you're an XXXXXXX. know it with certitude.
| |
|
| "Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
news:7rm2m116d6uv3p7708r08tm2ipi7n4i55i@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 14:48:28 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> Memo to self - Jihad on Eric.
high time. ((:-[>
> Ok, what in that post - assuming it's not all made up (and you have to
> wonder) - would fall into which categories?
oh, that. well, i'd say it's probably the work of a fevered imagination,
with an emphasis on probably, as in not completely for sure, but probably.
but if it's not all made up, then how should i know which parts of his shit
fall into which categories? it took me long enough to figure out which
parts of my shit fall into which categories. i picked up speed when i knew
i was on the right track though, so i put the message out in case it can
save another pilgrim a little time: don't take anything for granted.
question your assumptions. nothing is necessarily as it seems, or even as
you firmly believe it is, and all doctrine is suspect, and hornpipe is an
XXXXXXX.
| |
|
| On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:10:13 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>"hornpipe" <hornpipe@gaia.org.invalid> wrote in message
>news:68o2m11phnjo2f087rcs2o8l2c8re7pofb@4ax.com...
>
>know that you're an XXXXXXX. know it with certitude.
Yeppers.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
|
| On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:11:07 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>"Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
>news:7rm2m116d6uv3p7708r08tm2ipi7n4i55i@4ax.com...
>
>high time. ((:-[>
>
>
>oh, that. well, i'd say it's probably the work of a fevered imagination,
>with an emphasis on probably, as in not completely for sure, but probably.
>
>but if it's not all made up, then how should i know which parts of his shit
>fall into which categories? it took me long enough to figure out which
>parts of my shit fall into which categories. i picked up speed when i knew
>i was on the right track though, so i put the message out in case it can
>save another pilgrim a little time: don't take anything for granted.
>question your assumptions. nothing is necessarily as it seems, or even as
>you firmly believe it is, and all doctrine is suspect, and hornpipe is an
>XXXXXXX.
Hornpipe is an XXXXXXX, yes. Got that much. And I certainly agree
with the idea that it's as important to question your assumptions as
it is important to trust your instincts.
But, if everything that guy said is true, I don't see how any of it
falls outside illegality, or that which should be illegal, anyway.
~*~ I am incredibly silly, so I emphasize you. My tropical liaison won't improve before I say it ~*~
| |
|
| "Liz" <isnexttogodly@heaven.net> wrote in message
news:vi23m1ditsbn2bkehlpbsj9tbq0dl9ogm6@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:11:07 -0400, "cal" <cal1360@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> Hornpipe is an XXXXXXX, yes. Got that much.
it's a fairly important piece.
> And I certainly agree
> with the idea that it's as important to question your assumptions as
> it is important to trust your instincts.
no, i say it's equally important to question your assumptions and your
instincts. postulating someone who was completely XXXXed over as a kid,
assumptions, beliefs, instincts and all (not looking at anyone in particular
here, but not excluding self), that person's only hope at the outset is in
their ability to question *everything* that seems irresistibly true, and in
their willingness to do it.
"there's no easy road to where you want to go, my friends."
-- mr. natural
> But, if everything that guy said is true, I don't see how any of it
> falls outside illegality, or that which should be illegal, anyway.
its illegality isn't as important from the recovery standpoint as what he
was actually harmed by, and exactly how.
| |
| hornpipe 2005-10-29, 10:57 am |
| On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 20:21:26 -0400, "Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>"hornpipe" <hornpipe@gaia.org.invalid> wrote in message
>news:68o2m11phnjo2f087rcs2o8l2c8re7pofb@4ax.com...
>discretion
>you.
>
>This is where I say how "sad" and "ugly" this newsgroup has become.
>
>In between laughing like the idiot I am, of course.
>
oh, but I'm an XXXXXXX!
heheh. Luna, some things are *so* predictable
--
hornpipe
| |
|
| "hornpipe" <hornpipe@gaia.org.invalid> wrote in message
news:8s73m11fe924l3go25dvumtmqrjc5h9kj3@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 20:21:26 -0400, "Luna" <lunajean@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> oh, but I'm an XXXXXXX!
()*()
| |
| Dragon 2005-10-29, 10:57 am |
| I'm another one who came here from asar, when they went to asar.m I
think, because I didn't want anyone else to control my postings. Man,
that was a long time ago.
I also came here from a university account, found asar by doing a
search for sexual abuse recovery groups.
Dragon
|
| |
|
|