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Home > Archive > Abuse recovery > December 2004 > tis the reason...for the season...eh?
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tis the reason...for the season...eh?
|
|
| sloopy 2004-12-16, 8:48 am |
| X-No-Archive: Yes
well folks....for the last couple of years or so, my participation
here has been fairly sporadic,....and with this latest topic moving
away from productive conversation and/or debate and instead becoming a
smackdown -- which is kind of sad considering it was shaping into a
really good conversation -- and in some cases, was a really good
conversation -- regarding a very touchy topic, it's time I remove
myself from the conversation, and perhaps aar for awhile......
During my first marriage, I expended enourmous energy defending myself
over things that really didn't need to be defended...and I don't want
to get back into that cycle -- especially in a place filled with
people who have just as many abuse stories to tell.....it's
incomprehensible to me that as abuse survivors, we engage in such
crappy treatment of each other when we spent so much time trying to
rid ourselves of abuse.
and if I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.
thanks to those of you who gave some terrific perspectives, insights
and shared your experiences....one of the most beneficial things about
this is knowing that one is not alone.
One of the things being in a violent relationship taught me was that
my experience and perspective would be challenged over and over and
over, to the point of allowing myself to be convinced that I was
incapable of telling the story the way it really did happen...I think
it's called "crazymaking" these days.....and.one of the things getting
out of that relationship taught me was to not concede to anothers
inability or unwillingness to comprehend, or at the very least,
acknowledge anothers reality based on their experiences.
and blah blah blah....anyway, it's the holidays, things are
good.....there are terrific people here who I would love to continue
to talk with...just not here.....it's never really been a place where
open, healthy conversation can take place.
I hope everyone has a great holiday....spending time with friends and
family.
Take care of yourselves, and each other.....
deb(ster)
--
For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
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| |
| Kaitlyn 2004-12-16, 8:48 am |
| I'll miss you deb. My email is open to you always. I hope your
holiday celebration is a good one.
Hugs
Kaitlyn
On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:07:59 GMT, sloopy <sloopy@asarian-host.net>
wrote:
>X-No-Archive: Yes
>
>well folks....for the last couple of years or so, my participation
>here has been fairly sporadic,....and with this latest topic moving
>away from productive conversation and/or debate and instead becoming a
>smackdown -- which is kind of sad considering it was shaping into a
>really good conversation -- and in some cases, was a really good
>conversation -- regarding a very touchy topic, it's time I remove
>myself from the conversation, and perhaps aar for awhile......
>
>During my first marriage, I expended enourmous energy defending myself
>over things that really didn't need to be defended...and I don't want
>to get back into that cycle -- especially in a place filled with
>people who have just as many abuse stories to tell.....it's
>incomprehensible to me that as abuse survivors, we engage in such
>crappy treatment of each other when we spent so much time trying to
>rid ourselves of abuse.
>
>and if I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.
>
>thanks to those of you who gave some terrific perspectives, insights
>and shared your experiences....one of the most beneficial things about
>this is knowing that one is not alone.
>
>One of the things being in a violent relationship taught me was that
>my experience and perspective would be challenged over and over and
>over, to the point of allowing myself to be convinced that I was
>incapable of telling the story the way it really did happen...I think
>it's called "crazymaking" these days.....and.one of the things getting
>out of that relationship taught me was to not concede to anothers
>inability or unwillingness to comprehend, or at the very least,
>acknowledge anothers reality based on their experiences.
>
>and blah blah blah....anyway, it's the holidays, things are
>good.....there are terrific people here who I would love to continue
>to talk with...just not here.....it's never really been a place where
>open, healthy conversation can take place.
>
>I hope everyone has a great holiday....spending time with friends and
>family.
>
>Take care of yourselves, and each other.....
>
>deb(ster)
| |
| Panther 2004-12-16, 8:48 am |
| I'll miss you too. I always loved reading your perspectives.
Hope you enjoy the holiday season and our email is also always open to you.
Andy misses you too, he always has wonderful things to say about you. If we
ever take our road trip to BC we'd love to stop by along the way and meet
you in person!
Best,
Panther and Andy
"Kaitlyn" <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote in message
news:pek2s0piq58016ro3pvnvkpo7tr8qr5h7s@4ax.com...
> I'll miss you deb. My email is open to you always. I hope your
> holiday celebration is a good one.
>
> Hugs
> Kaitlyn
>
> On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:07:59 GMT, sloopy <sloopy@asarian-host.net>
> wrote:
>
>
| |
|
| >From: sloopy sloopy@asarian-host.net
>Date: 12/16/2004 9:07 AM W. Europe Standard Time
>Message-id: <9ef3b2d.b471ff4d2bce5c0f8b0b56d3a1@asarian-host.net>
>
>X-No-Archive: Yes
>
>well folks....for the last couple of years or so, my participation
>here has been fairly sporadic,....and with this latest topic moving
>away from productive conversation and/or debate and instead becoming a
>smackdown -- which is kind of sad considering it was shaping into a
>really good conversation -- and in some cases, was a really good
>conversation -- regarding a very touchy topic, it's time I remove
>myself from the conversation, and perhaps aar for awhile......
>
>During my first marriage, I expended enourmous energy defending myself
>over things that really didn't need to be defended...and I don't want
>to get back into that cycle -- especially in a place filled with
>people who have just as many abuse stories to tell.....it's
>incomprehensible to me that as abuse survivors, we engage in such
>crappy treatment of each other when we spent so much time trying to
>rid ourselves of abuse.
>
>and if I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.
>
>thanks to those of you who gave some terrific perspectives, insights
>and shared your experiences....one of the most beneficial things about
>this is knowing that one is not alone.
>
>One of the things being in a violent relationship taught me was that
>my experience and perspective would be challenged over and over and
>over, to the point of allowing myself to be convinced that I was
>incapable of telling the story the way it really did happen...I think
>it's called "crazymaking" these days.....and.one of the things getting
>out of that relationship taught me was to not concede to anothers
>inability or unwillingness to comprehend, or at the very least,
>acknowledge anothers reality based on their experiences.
>
>and blah blah blah....anyway, it's the holidays, things are
>good.....there are terrific people here who I would love to continue
>to talk with...just not here.....it's never really been a place where
>open, healthy conversation can take place.
>
>I hope everyone has a great holiday....spending time with friends and
>family.
>
>Take care of yourselves, and each other.....
>
>deb(ster)
>
Hugs, Deb...
you will be missed.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which
they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
| |
|
| >From: sloopy sloopy@asarian-host.net
>Date: 12/16/2004 9:07 AM W. Europe Standard Time
>Message-id: <9ef3b2d.b471ff4d2bce5c0f8b0b56d3a1@asarian-host.net>
>
>X-No-Archive: Yes
>
>well folks....for the last couple of years or so, my participation
>here has been fairly sporadic,....and with this latest topic moving
>away from productive conversation and/or debate and instead becoming a
>smackdown -- which is kind of sad considering it was shaping into a
>really good conversation -- and in some cases, was a really good
>conversation -- regarding a very touchy topic, it's time I remove
>myself from the conversation, and perhaps aar for awhile......
>
>During my first marriage, I expended enourmous energy defending myself
>over things that really didn't need to be defended...and I don't want
>to get back into that cycle -- especially in a place filled with
>people who have just as many abuse stories to tell.....it's
>incomprehensible to me that as abuse survivors, we engage in such
>crappy treatment of each other when we spent so much time trying to
>rid ourselves of abuse.
>
>and if I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.
>
>thanks to those of you who gave some terrific perspectives, insights
>and shared your experiences....one of the most beneficial things about
>this is knowing that one is not alone.
>
>One of the things being in a violent relationship taught me was that
>my experience and perspective would be challenged over and over and
>over, to the point of allowing myself to be convinced that I was
>incapable of telling the story the way it really did happen...I think
>it's called "crazymaking" these days.....and.one of the things getting
>out of that relationship taught me was to not concede to anothers
>inability or unwillingness to comprehend, or at the very least,
>acknowledge anothers reality based on their experiences.
>
>and blah blah blah....anyway, it's the holidays, things are
>good.....there are terrific people here who I would love to continue
>to talk with...just not here.....it's never really been a place where
>open, healthy conversation can take place.
>
>I hope everyone has a great holiday....spending time with friends and
>family.
>
>Take care of yourselves, and each other.....
>
>deb(ster)
>
Hugs, Deb...
you will be missed.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which
they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
| |
| sloopy 2004-12-21, 7:06 pm |
| X-No-Archive: Yes
Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
don't dig it..you know?
thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
something? 
happy holidays
d
Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>I'll miss you deb. My email is open to you always. I hope your
>holiday celebration is a good one.
>
>Hugs
>Kaitlyn
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>I'll miss you too. I always loved reading your perspectives.
>
>Hope you enjoy the holiday season and our email is also always open to you.
>Andy misses you too, he always has wonderful things to say about you. If we
>ever take our road trip to BC we'd love to stop by along the way and meet
>you in person!
>
>Best,
>
>Panther and Andy
micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>Hugs, Deb...
>you will be missed.
>
>
>People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which
>they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
>
--
For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
| |
| Panther 2004-12-21, 7:06 pm |
| I'd like to meet up with you on irc sometime. That would be fun. I suspect
that andy would come out of the woodwork just for that. He misses you :-)
Re email with us, if you have another account, use it. We're banned from
asarian-host :-pppppppp
Are you really doing incense???? I wish I knew more about that!! I've
started doing candles again. Use to do it back when the kids were about 4
or 5.
Panther
"sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> X-No-Archive: Yes
>
> Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
>
> I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
>
> I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
> off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
>
> See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
> around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
> convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
> going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
> dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
>
> I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
> facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
> don't dig it..you know?
>
> thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
> if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
> all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
> something?
>
> happy holidays
>
> d
>
>
>
> Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
you.[vbcol=seagreen]
we[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
> micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>
>
which[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
> help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
> If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
>
> https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
| |
|
|
"sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> X-No-Archive: Yes
>
> Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
>
> I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
>
> I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
> off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
>
> See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
> around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
> convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
> going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
> dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
>
> I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
> facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
> don't dig it..you know?
>
> thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
> if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
> all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
> something?
>
> happy holidays
Deb, you're a lovely person, never doubt it. The "facestomping" comes from the
facestompers. Don't you let them get you down.
Jean
>
> d
>
>
>
> Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
>
> micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
> help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
> If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
>
> https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
| |
|
|
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
news:cqa9k6$roc$0@pita.alt.net...
> I'd like to meet up with you on irc sometime. That would be fun. I suspect
> that andy would come out of the woodwork just for that. He misses you :-)
>
> Re email with us, if you have another account, use it. We're banned from
> asarian-host :-pppppppp
Congratulations!
Jean ====> which means, Panther is sitting on a slab of marble somewhere looking
down at the poor idjits who "banned" her
>
> Are you really doing incense???? I wish I knew more about that!! I've
> started doing candles again. Use to do it back when the kids were about 4
> or 5.
>
> Panther
>
>
> "sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
> news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> you.
> we
> which
>
>
| |
| Panther 2004-12-21, 10:06 pm |
|
"Luna" <jean_collins@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:32s4ikF3qe55lU1@individual.net...
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
> news:cqa9k6$roc$0@pita.alt.net...
suspect[vbcol=seagreen]
:-)[vbcol=seagreen]
from[vbcol=seagreen]
>
> Congratulations!
>
> Jean ====> which means, Panther is sitting on a slab of marble somewhere
looking
> down at the poor idjits who "banned" her
bawhahahha, good laugh for the new year!
[vbcol=seagreen]
4[vbcol=seagreen]
If[vbcol=seagreen]
meet[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
| |
|
| >From: sloopy sloopy@asarian-host.net
>Date: 12/21/2004 11:14 P.M. W. Europe Standard Time
>Message-id: <43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net>
>
>X-No-Archive: Yes
>
>Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
>
>I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
>
>I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
>off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
>
I'm glad.
>See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
>around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
>convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
>going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
>dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
>
>I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
>facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
>don't dig it..you know?
>
>thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
>if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
>all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
>something?
>
>happy holidays
>
>d
>
that would be cool. happy holidays to you too
[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
>Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
>
>micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>
>
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which
they avoid. -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
| |
| Panther 2004-12-28, 11:08 am |
| I'd like to meet up with you on irc sometime. That would be fun. I suspect
that andy would come out of the woodwork just for that. He misses you :-)
Re email with us, if you have another account, use it. We're banned from
asarian-host :-pppppppp
Are you really doing incense???? I wish I knew more about that!! I've
started doing candles again. Use to do it back when the kids were about 4
or 5.
Panther
"sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> X-No-Archive: Yes
>
> Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
>
> I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
>
> I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
> off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
>
> See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
> around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
> convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
> going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
> dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
>
> I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
> facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
> don't dig it..you know?
>
> thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
> if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
> all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
> something?
>
> happy holidays
>
> d
>
>
>
> Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
you.[vbcol=seagreen]
we[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
> micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>
>
which[vbcol=seagreen]
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
> help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
> If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
>
> https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
| |
|
|
"Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote in message
news:cqa9k6$roc$0@pita.alt.net...
> I'd like to meet up with you on irc sometime. That would be fun. I suspect
> that andy would come out of the woodwork just for that. He misses you :-)
>
> Re email with us, if you have another account, use it. We're banned from
> asarian-host :-pppppppp
Congratulations!
Jean ====> which means, Panther is sitting on a slab of marble somewhere looking
down at the poor idjits who "banned" her
>
> Are you really doing incense???? I wish I knew more about that!! I've
> started doing candles again. Use to do it back when the kids were about 4
> or 5.
>
> Panther
>
>
> "sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
> news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> you.
> we
> which
>
>
| |
|
|
"sloopy" <sloopy@asarian-host.net> wrote in message
news:43d3c3ef3f5.ab673f86128965f1d7f7f5@asarian-host.net...
> X-No-Archive: Yes
>
> Hey guys....for some reason....I just saw these....
>
> I apologize for inferring that I was "leaving forever"
>
> I'm not.....this place has grown on me....I was contemplating backing
> off a bit in aar.....but definetly leaving hte conversation on DV.
>
> See...it's the kindness of you folks that makes me want to stick
> around...but I think it will be lighthearted for awhile...that last
> convo.....kicked my emotional butt, and so that's really where I was
> going -- I don't want it to appear that I'm stomping off in a
> dramatic huff --- that's not the case, like I told jean.
>
> I occassionally need to take a deeeep breath and NOT engage in verbal
> facestomping.....if it's harmful, it's most harmful to me...and I
> don't dig it..you know?
>
> thanks guys.....and you can always write me at my asarian account --
> if you want to talk more on the DV issue.......or ...maybe we could
> all meet on IRC one night......we could do an invite only or
> something?
>
> happy holidays
Deb, you're a lovely person, never doubt it. The "facestomping" comes from the
facestompers. Don't you let them get you down.
Jean
>
> d
>
>
>
> Kaitlyn <kaitlyn@asarian.host.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> "Panther" <panther@asarian-intl.org> wrote:
>
>
>
> micakg@aol.comspamsux (Mica) wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact:
> help@asarian-host.net -- for all info about our server.
> If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page:
>
> https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
|
| |
|
|