| GMCarter 2006-08-23, 4:20 pm |
| The only problem with this is that they spelled Repugnican
incorrectly.
**
What you need to know to be a Republican
The following is an excellent analysis of the current philosophy of
the
Bushees!!!
Things you have to believe in order to be a Republican today.....
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush, Sr.
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a
bad
guy when "W" needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
highest
national priority is enforcing U.N resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
The best way to improve miliary morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,
then
demand
their cooperation and money. Providing health care to all Iraqis is
sound
policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense,
but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands
die
is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution,which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George
Bush's driving record is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative
radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your
recovery.
Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who
will
be born or who might be born (in perpetuity).
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing
orange vests similiar to those worn by the quail.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other
people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
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