| Cymbal Man Freq. 2005-01-12, 4:07 am |
| When will precipitation curse end?
By Dennis McCarthy
Staff Writer
Monday, January 10, 2005 - Enough already! Whatever it was we spoiled brats
living in LaLa Land did to make the rain gods mad, I personally apologize for
all of us.
I promise we'll never again complain about not having any seasons. Just stop the
monsoons, cancel the ark, and give us back our sun.
I'm going crazy, spending all this quality time indoors with my family. After
two weeks of steady rain, we're about ready to do some serious harm to each
other.
The cabin fever got so bad, I actually went appliance shopping with my wife.
It's a sign of a desperate man that I spent three hours Sunday walking around
kitchen showrooms -- me and a couple dozen other slovenly guys who looked like
they wanted to kill somebody.
On a typical Sunday, we'd be out on a golf course, heading for the beach or
walking the dog.
But the nonstop rain has driven us to following our wives around kitchen
showrooms like lap dogs -- carrying dripping umbrellas and feigning interest in
the merits of side vs. bottom freezers.
No wonder the suicide rate is so high in Seattle.
So just what was it that ticked off the rain gods, anyway? That stretch last
summer when I complained it was too hot to walk the whole 18 holes, and begged
for some cloud cover?
That Saturday last January when I called my buddy back East and bragged I was
outside, barbecuing and working on my tan, while he was shoveling snow?
That day I wimped out and quit in the middle of my tennis match, complaining
that the sun was just too bright to see the ball? Or was it that Saturday at the
beach when I whined about the sand being too hot?
I swear I'll never whine again about having to put on sunblock. Just stop the
rain and give me my sun back.
If my wife and I don't get outside without an umbrella soon, one of us isn't
going to see February.
We made the bright decision a few months ago to renovate our house, enlarging
the kitchen and family room.
We figured that since the kid's off at college majoring in surfing and it's just
the two of us, we needed more room. Makes a lot of sense, right?
Even under the best of living conditions -- such as actually having a real
kitchen and living area in your home or apartment -- the heavy rains are playing
havoc with people's lives.
But when you're washing the dishes in the bathroom sink and eating microwave
dinners every night in your bedroom because the roof in the new addition leaks
like a sieve, well, you tend to get a little cranky.
But, hey, that's my problem. You've got problems of your own. All I want is for
the weatherman to be right, and for our sun to return on Wednesday.
I promise that if the rain stops, I won't complain about traffic congestion,
noise, bad drivers, rude people, and all the other wonderful things that make
L.A. such a great place to live.
When the sun's shining.
|